I think you are the first person to use first person perspective appropriately since I started this thread (at least for a long time), so thank you for that. Buy while we're on style, your choice to use n-dashes instead of quotation marks to denote speech was really really jarring, and I've never seen that before. Why man? Just use quotation marks.
Okay. So in terms of hook and story, I had a bit of an issue at the start as you have a character waking up in a strange new place. However, you actually surprised me with that later when you establish that he is in fact from this world and he literally just woke up on some other place. Or some variant of that. Its weird and justifies the cliché beginning.
Your main character is a pervert, and that is really his only personality trait. There seems to be a hint of brashness there as well? But I couldn't identify anything else that really worked for me. Similarly, the inn keeper character stood out as a caricature. I could believe him as a real person. In fact, he was so completely jarring that it took me out of the story.
And finally, this is smut. Reading it, I thought this is perverted, but then I read the description and I thought, "Oh, this is smut." It's the sort of thing I would normally not put my stamp of approval on unless I thought it was really, really well done. Even then, I would then judge something like this as "If you're into it." So the question becomes, would I recommend it to a certain group of people?
The answer is no, for a few reasons. Despite some clever little tidbits, the characters and world are paper thin with what you've set up. And then the main premise seems to be: all women are sex slaves for men. That's pretty damn disgusting. If THAT'S your premise, you have to nail just about every other aspect of your storytelling, which is something you have not done. I need some guarantee that there is going to be some nuance and its not going to be 100% morally depraved.
I'm sure it will have some people who like it for obvious reasons regardless of quality, but this is a big ole No from me.
Thanks for your feedback. My following comments are not to attack you, just to explain few points from my perspective.
Regarding the character being from the same world but in a different place - he is not from the same world. Maybe I will edit the beginning to make it clearer. Although later in the story it becomes evident he is not.
Italic VS commas for his own thoughts. I used commas before and I had so much hate from people who said it was so difficult to read. I discussed it with other writers (not from SH) and majority agreed that using Italic was the best choice.
One thing I don't understand is what does 'smut' stand for, lol. It's a new jargon for me. From what you said it is something similar to perverted?
But the main thing I found and your comments confirmed it, people are too 'hooked' on the sex slave aspect. I don't know, maybe they secretly want it to be true. Of course, I can understand why people might think that way, considering we are living on planet Earth. However, I purposely stated in my first comment, that there is no sex slaves, rape or any of that sort of stuff in the book.
Interesting fact - I have my book on other sites as well (and it is written in commas instead of italic) and scribblehub is the only place where I got people commenting about the sex slave aspect :D (of course, after reading only the first few chapters.)
Also, I find it interesting when somebody calls a hetero man, who loves women, a pervert but being 'gay' is a norm these days. Of course I am mixing real world with the fantasy story myself now, haha. On a side note, how does a man describe a woman he 'fell in love from first sight' (or any girl who's totally sexy) without being called a pervert?
All in all, I appreciate your feedback. I mean, you read only the first chapter and made an opinion about it, be it rather wrong opinion about the whole story, which I am happy about.