Monkey's Paw

[BenJepheneT]

Hey!!!! don't shout at me I'm on the other side of the world and your mom is ugly. I wouldn't fuck her even if I was paid a zillion USD.

Anyway, Granted your mom is now only sexually attracted to plants

I wish for 1 billion USD.

Granted, you now have 1 billion United Somalian Dollars. By the conversion rate, you can afford one Evian water bottle.

I wish to be sharp.

 

[furnace]

Granted, you now have 1 billion United Somalian Dollars. By the conversion rate, you can afford one Evian water bottle.

I wish to be sharp.

Granted, just like Midas, anything you touch gets cut into pieces.

I wish that selling bottled water is made into a crime.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, just like Midas, anything you touch gets cut into pieces.

I wish that selling bottled water is made into a crime.

Granted, it has become a crime, but through """lobbying""", it had been revoked. The law had only stood for a record-breaking 3 days before being pulled.

I wish for a sharpener. My pencil's getting dull.

 

[furnace]

Granted, it has become a crime, but through """lobbying""", it had been revoked. The law had only stood for a record-breaking 3 days before being pulled.

I wish for a sharpener. My pencil's getting dull.

Granted, you get a crayon sharpener branded with Ben Shapiro's face.

I wish that the monkey's paw changes its form to some other animal's paw (Not human).

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, you get a crayon sharpener branded with Ben Shapiro's face.

I wish that the monkey's paw changes its form to some other animal's paw (Not human).

Granted, it's a donkey's asshole and everytime a wish is granted it prolapses.

I wish to become Ben Shapiro.

 

[Reborn_Cat]

Granted, it's a donkey's asshole and everytime a wish is granted it prolapses.

I wish to become Ben Shapiro.

Granted, you also get 1000 hate mail and death threats every week

I wish to be an empath

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, you also get 1000 hate mail and death threats every week

I wish to be an empath

I mean, that is the Ben Shapiro experience. Being a somewhat (in)famous political figure kinda entails that sort of attention.

Granted, with your newfound ability to feel other people's emotions better than anyone else, you traded it with all your four other senses. The one left remaining is your sense of smell.

Good luck smelling sadness lmao.

I wish to be blinded by the world's horrors.

 

[Generik0]

I mean, that is the Ben Shapiro experience. Being a somewhat (in)famous political figure kinda entails that sort of attention.

Granted, with your newfound ability to feel other people's emotions better than anyone else, you traded it with all your four other senses. The one left remaining is your sense of smell.

Good luck smelling sadness lmao.

I wish to be blinded by the world's horrors.

Granted, I shall give you a lifetime stock of gay furry porn.

I wish the next poster a cheesy day.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, I shall give you a lifetime stock of gay furry porn.

I wish the next poster a cheesy day.

seems that you and me see horror differently

Granted, I fucked a cheeseburger before giving it to someone in the driver-thru window while posed as a worker, claiming it to be a "charity" from the previous customer.

I wish for salvation.

 

[Generik0]

seems that you and me see horror differently

Granted, I fucked a cheeseburger before giving it to someone in the driver-thru window while posed as a worker, claiming it to be a "charity" from the previous customer.

I wish for salvation.

Granted, You are now saved by a femboy using his big cock. Now he demands two holes.

I wish to say the n word.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, You are now saved by a femboy using his big cock. Now he demands two holes.

I wish to say the n word.

Granted, now you're black.

I wish to be.

 

[Generik0]

Granted, now you're black.

I wish to be.

Granted, to be

I wish I hadn't eaten expired dressing.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, to be

I wish I hadn't eaten expired dressing.

Granted, you still have explosive diarrhoea regardless.

I wish not to be.

 

[Generik0]

Granted, you still have explosive diarrhea regardless.

I wish not to be.

Granted, you're not to be

I wish for

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, you're not to be

I wish for

Granted,

I wanna be a snowman.

 

[Mr.Grey-Cat]

Granted,

I wanna be a snowman.

granted, you are a snowman, but in a desert.

I wish planet earth had seventy-seven moons in all colors, with all different cheese flavors.

 

[BenJepheneT]

granted, you are a snowman, but in a desert.

I wish planet earth had seventy-seven moons in all colors, with all different cheese flavors.

granted, they're all Lovecraftian and drive everyone insane and now every hot women on earth wants to procreate with me

bless this wish in all its glory

I wish to be gay.

 

[Mr.Grey-Cat]

I wish to be gay.

granted, but you also become a woman, so you are a lesbian now.

I wish a week had three days, with two being a holiday.

 

[BenJepheneT]

granted, but you also become a woman, so you are a lesbian now.

I wish a week had three days, with two being a holiday.

Granted, that law only applies in Iran. So far, they've been on holiday for a straight decade, so all the better.

I wish I liked lamps.

 

[Generik0]

Granted, that law only applies in Iran. So far, they've been on holiday for a straight decade, so all the better.

I wish I liked lamps.

Granted, but lamps don't work around you.

I wish to be græy