Post Your Synopsis & Get Feedback

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GreenHexagon

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synopsis: The worlds didn't know what to do with them. The first rejected them. The second ignored them. The eighth blessed them.
They were Omega.
 

Yi_San

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Not bad.

You need PERIODS. First synopsis sounded better and I got an idea of the story more than the second one. But then I read on and on without stopping because there is no break. Your one sentence is better divided into several sentences. Makes it much easier to read and less run-ons. Read your sentence aloud without stopping (no periods, no stop). If it starts to feel like you are talking without breathing and the words bleed together, thats when you know you need to split your sentences.

Slightly confused a bit until I learned Bloody is name of protagonist. Your synopsis is much better! Smoother flow than previous ones, and has something that makes you actually interested in the story. I see you improved a lot in your synopses. :3 And you got nice hook at end too! Well done.

Figure out whether you want to do a short vague description of your story with a hook or just have a scene as the hook. Otherwise its too much jammed into the synopsis, bit confusing and lost of interest from the readers. Had to reread it slowly again to understand it. Maybe just have your teaser only.

Remove the "Read more" at the end. Wordy. You don't have to tell your readers, if they really wanted they would have already done so.
Understood. Thankyou
 
D

Deleted member 45782

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synopsis: The worlds didn't know what to do with them. The first rejected them. The second ignored them. The eighth blessed them.
They were Omega.
There's really not much on here. Don't even know the character or their goal/journey/mission through this story. Needs some more description actually.
 
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Alright, how about this:

Edward, a regular guy, is transported to another world at the wrong time and place. Slowly, he adapts, paves his way, and faces whatever misfortune awaits.
 
D

Deleted member 45782

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Alright, how about this:

Edward, a regular guy, is transported to another world i the wrong time and place. Slowly, he adapts, paves his way, and faces whatever misfortune awaits.
Not interested. No hook. Nothing that sparks curiosity with what goes on next in the story. You didn't give enough details to make the story stand out. That sentence basically summarizes your whole story, which many isekai stories already have, so it doesn't really make it stand out among the others.
 
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Not interested. No hook. Nothing that sparks curiosity with what goes on next in the story. You didn't give enough details to make the story stand out. That sentence basically summarizes your whole story, which many isekai stories already have, so it doesn't really make it stand out among the others.
Thank you. That seems about right. I wasn't looking to stand out (the title does that, sort of). The synopsis is pretty much a summary, a placeholder.
 

ConcubusBunny

Chaotic lewd enby bunny. They/them
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I don't know if anyone will respond to this bit oh well also this story isn't currently on scribblehub still trying to fine tune it.

Title: Din world
Synopsis:
An LGBT furry story of a group of individuals in a sci-fi fantasy world of magic and kingdoms trying to live on this unforgiving world ruled by magic hierarchy. Will they be able they be able to live their lives the way they seem fit, or will they be forced to bend the knee to ensure their goals are met?

⚠️ Lots of smut and gore in my story ⚠️
 
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I don't know if anyone will respond to this bit oh well also this story isn't currently on scribblehub still trying to fine tune it.

Title: Din world
Synopsis:
An LGBT furry story of a group of individuals in a sci-fi fantasy world of magic and kingdoms trying to live on this unforgiving world ruled by magic hierarchy. Will they be able they be able to live their lives the way they seem fit, or will they be forced to bend the knee to ensure their goals are met?

⚠️ Lots of smut and gore in my story ⚠️
Your first sentence is a bit mouthful, it is best to split your sentence into two.

Just a general advice to others as well:
It isn't always about cramming everything into one sentence. A synopsis isn't just that. It should be more than a one sentence line of your story's summary. Most times (unless you primarily targeting a specific audience that already knows what they want and getting into), you need to give a bit more details into your story to attract readers. Give a general idea of a story, not too much but enough to entice the reader to sorta get the idea what the plot is about, whose the character or protagonist they're going to be reading and maybe even self-insert into, etc.

I'm not great at explaining so let me reference @Muddy's advice: They're pretty good with their advice.
A good synopsis will tell potential readers why they should invest time in your story. That means it will often answer at least one, sometimes two or three of these questions:
  • Who is your protagonist, and why should I care about them?
  • What are they trying to achieve, and why should I care about that?
  • What is preventing them from achieving their goal?
  • What sets this story apart from the dozens of stories with a similar premise?
 

Moon36

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Post your story's synopsis here if you want feedback on it from others. Can be a synopsis of a story idea you have in mind, or a synopsis of a story you already have published on ScribbleHub.

This is to help many of us who wish to improve our synopsis in terms of grammar, making it flow smoother, identifying synopsis's weaknesses, if the synopsis we have is a good fit for our story, etc.

When providing feedback, please explain your reasons on why you feel the synopsis is lacking and provide suggestions on how it can be improved.

* Synopsis refers to Synopsis you see on ScribbleHub.
* This is not reviewing your whole story or its chapters, just the Synopsis itself. Saves time and straightforward how to improve your synopses.

Keep in mind, that a good synopsis is one that hooks the reader into wanting to continue reading on more about your story.

Thanks, I really need advice. Oh yeah, could you try to create a title for me?

Title: Cruelty

Synopsis
It was a distant memory. Distant, yet she remembered it so vividly. Mother was smirking as she playfully told the youngest one of for commenting on Aunty Emma's weight. The girl chuckled a bit, as a smile found a way onto her usually cold face. She looked a the stars with cloudy eyes... reminiscing over her past. Oh how she wished those days could've lasted. But sadly, all good things have to come to an end.

(Hello there, this is the first story I've ever written, so don't expect too much. I'll try to post, but I can't give any guarantees. Also, if you find any mistakes, tell me. Thx.)
Genre
Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Historical, Mature, Romance, Tragedy
Tags
Alchemy Antihero Protagonist Army Building Artifact Crafting Beautiful Female Lead Cannibalism Clever Protagonist Conflicting Loyalties Demi-Humans Demon Lord Demons Empires Human Experimentation, Human Weapon ,Magical Technology, Master-Servant Relationship, Multiple POV, Mythical Beasts, Slave Protagonist, Sword And Magic , Twisted Personality, Unique Weapons, Unrequited Love, Weak to Strong
 

Paul_Tromba

Sleep deprived mess of a published author
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After being framed for the use of necromancy Nero was banished from his hometown and the great magic academy. Having nowhere else to go he set off, only to get lost in the destroyed Imperial city ruins and end up in a labyrinth. After a month of fighting in the labyrinth, he found an ancient ruin that contained magic inscriptions he had never seen before. One of which was a summoning circle. Having grown lonely due to the lack of human contact Nero decides to use it to summon a servant for him to talk to. Though in the process of doing so he accidentally summoned the hero from another world. Now what?
 

KittraMcBriar

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Ooh yes I'll bite

For my story "Lunarborn"

------

Once she was the Tyrant Empress. The one who made rivers run red with blood. The one whose name was poison to speak.
But now she’s been Reset, her memories broken, her power lost. Reborn under the night sky into the Realm of Solastrad, where time of birth is everything. As a Lunarborn in a world ruled by those born under the sun, Vi is forced to depend completely on her new Solarborn master. For the blood she needs to survive. For shelter. For protection from the people who hate her for what she was—the people who remember. But there’s more to General Khavad than the rumors whisper, and he wants more from her than just the physical energy he feeds off of.

As Vi struggles to figure out whether her new master hates or loves her, one thing quickly becomes clear—of all his weapons, she’s the deadliest.
 

SakeVision

Sama/kisama
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Long Dong is a young cultivator whom everyone underestimates! "That boy has no power!" his seniors say. Little do they know that his resolution will not break so easily!

"I"ll show you all, and build a harem of jade beauties!" exclaimed the young man, pointing his fist at the moon.

"Misha, calm down, do you want to fail another year?"

"I don't care, as long as I have this demonic power!" Long Dong whips out a pack of over-the-counter codeine, leaving his friend in shock and awe.

And thus a cultivation journey of eastern european delinquent begins!
 

ElijahRyne

Not that Lazy…
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Slightly confused a bit until I learned Bloody is name of protagonist. Your synopsis is much better! Smoother flow than previous ones, and has something that makes you actually interested in the story. I see you improved a lot in your synopses. :3 And you got nice hook at end too! Well done.
Is this better?
Synopsis:

Bloody had a strange birth, it was a dark night, and a person jogging on the road was hit by a speeding truck, with one working headlight. The collision was sudden, and, a small mist of blood formed by the collision gained consciousness. That mist was Bloody. After their birth, Bloody traveled the streets, yet all the people who Bloody passed by ignored them.

Bloody continued to explore the world, and slowly Bloody grew stronger by breathing in the essence of the moon, and smarter by watching and following the humans. Yet, they felt lonely, and yearned for a human life. They had watched and connected to humans, who could never know of Bloody’s existence. After those humans died Bloody always regretted not being able to talk to them. All Bloody wished for was to become their friend…



That is until one day when Bloody gained a new ability, transformation, after eating a strange creature.

Ecstatic with their new power, Bloody tried to turn themselves into a human, yet when they do, they become a child. Only to turn back into the mist when they tried to sleep. What happens next? Will Bloody succeed in their goal? Stay tuned to find out!
 
D

Deleted member 45782

Guest
Synopsis:

Bloody had a strange birth, it was a dark night, and a person jogging on the road was hit by a speeding truck, with one working headlight. The collision was sudden, and, a small mist of blood formed by the collision gained consciousness. That mist was Bloody. After their birth, Bloody traveled the streets, yet all the people who Bloody passed by ignored them.

Bloody continued to explore the world, and slowly Bloody grew stronger by breathing in the essence of the moon, and smarter by watching and following the humans. Yet, they felt lonely, and yearned for a human life. They had watched and connected to humans, who could never know of Bloody’s existence. After those humans died Bloody always regretted not being able to talk to them. All Bloody wished for was to become their friend…



That is until one day when Bloody gained a new ability, transformation, after eating a strange creature.

Ecstatic with their new power, Bloody tried to turn themselves into a human, yet when they do, they become a child. Only to turn back into the mist when they tried to sleep. What happens next? Will Bloody succeed in their goal? Stay tuned to find out!
Tbh I think the first one was better. There's more mystery. This second one is something you might still want to keep but as a background description for your character so you can look back too when you want to revisit a few details of your character.
 

Ai-chan

Queen of Yuri Devourer of Traps
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Title: The Witch Behind The Throne
Comment: This is a story that Ai-chan wants to record instead of writing straight away as Ai-chan has many stories in queue. So Ai-chan wants to ask what you feel about this story synopsis and what do you think the story is about.
Genre: Tragedy, romance, revenge, psychological
Story Synopsis:

I am Enaril, a commoner girl who survived my first battle at the young age of 13. I am the lone survivor of the Battle of Violet Pass. For my audacity of being the sole survivor of the battle that even claimed the life of the Blue King, I earned the gaze of the Witch of the Blood Red Forest.

She came to me in a dream, asking me if I wanted to live through this wartorn era. I told her what I've always wanted, "I want to live in peace". She told me that if peace was what I wanted, then I should look for her in the cursed forest of Blood Red.

It is a place where evil both real and imagined lurked in the shadows. A place where the mountains are made of human bones. A place where the 17th Red Queen was rumoured to drink tea as she witnessed the beheading of an entire village.

I survived the battle that took the lives of my father and all my friends. I survived the journey through the forest too. Yet, it was not a journey without sacrifice. My body was battered, my left leg was left a stump and by the time I arrived at the witch's home, my arms were useless, hanging bloody by my side.

As I approached the witch's final resting place, I spied her body, shimmering like mirage in the desert. It was then that I knew, the witch was long gone. What was left was a fragment of her memory, an ego left behind from her once tormented existence.

She said to me...

"My name is Felicia. You shall have your peace. The price will be a single favour, your majesty, the 18th Red Queen. Do you accept?"
 
Last edited:
D

Deleted member 45782

Guest
Title: The Witch Behind The Throne
Comment: This is a story that Ai-chan wants to record instead of writing straight away as Ai-chan has many stories in queue. So Ai-chan wants to ask what you feel about this story synopsis and what do you think the story is about.
Genre: Tragedy, romance, revenge, psychological
Story Synopsis:

I am Enaril, a commoner girl who survived my first battle at the young age of 13. I am the lone survivor of the Battle of Violet Pass. For my audacity of being the sole survivor of the battle that even claimed the life of the Blue King, I earned the gaze of the Witch of the Blood Red Forest.

She came to me in a dream, asking me if I wanted to live through this wartorn era. I told her what I've always wanted, "I want to live in peace". She told me that if peace was what I wanted, then I should look for her in the cursed forest of Blood Red.

It is a place where evil both real and imagined lurked in the shadows. A place where the mountains are made of human bones. A place where the 17th Red Queen was rumoured to drink tea as she witnessed the beheading of an entire village.

I survived the battle that took the lives of my father and all my friends. I survived the journey through the forest too. Yet, it was not a journey without sacrifice. My body was battered, my left leg was left a stump and by the time I arrived at the witch's home, my arms were useless, hanging bloody by my side.

As I approached the witch's final resting place, I spied her body, shimmering like mirage in the desert. It was then that I knew, the witch was long gone. What was left was a fragment of her memory, an ego left behind from her once tormented existence.

She said to me...

"My name is Felicia. You shall have your peace. The price will be a single favour, your majesty, the 18th Red Queen. Do you accept?"
Nice scene. Takes me into the thoughts of the mc protagonist and gives a little insight into who she was, and what briefly happened that led up to the events now. i liked that last hook; got me interested a bit in wanting to hear what's next.

Apologies anyone if I missed your synopses. Been busying a little doing stuff and may be less active on SHF.

Some synopsis stood out though.
After being framed for the use of necromancy Nero was banished from his hometown and the great magic academy. Having nowhere else to go he set off, only to get lost in the destroyed Imperial city ruins and end up in a labyrinth. After a month of fighting in the labyrinth, he found an ancient ruin that contained magic inscriptions he had never seen before. One of which was a summoning circle. Having grown lonely due to the lack of human contact Nero decides to use it to summon a servant for him to talk to. Though in the process of doing so he accidentally summoned the hero from another world. Now what?
Nice.
Ooh yes I'll bite

For my story "Lunarborn"

------

Once she was the Tyrant Empress. The one who made rivers run red with blood. The one whose name was poison to speak.
But now she’s been Reset, her memories broken, her power lost. Reborn under the night sky into the Realm of Solastrad, where time of birth is everything. As a Lunarborn in a world ruled by those born under the sun, Vi is forced to depend completely on her new Solarborn master. For the blood she needs to survive. For shelter. For protection from the people who hate her for what she was—the people who remember. But there’s more to General Khavad than the rumors whisper, and he wants more from her than just the physical energy he feeds off of.

As Vi struggles to figure out whether her new master hates or loves her, one thing quickly becomes clear—of all his weapons, she’s the deadliest.

Nice. I liked reading your synopsis; it kinda gives me synopsis vibes often found in published books.

Thanks, I really need advice. Oh yeah, could you try to create a title for me?

Title: Cruelty

Synopsis
It was a distant memory. Distant, yet she remembered it so vividly. Mother was smirking as she playfully told the youngest one off for commenting on Aunty Emma's weight. The girl chuckled a bit, as a smile found a way onto her usually cold face. She looked a the stars with cloudy eyes... reminiscing over her past. Oh how she wished those days could've lasted. But sadly, all good things have to come to an end.

(Hello there, this is the first story I've ever written, so don't expect too much. I'll try to post, but I can't give any guarantees. Also, if you find any mistakes, tell me. Thx.)
Genre
Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Historical, Mature, Romance, Tragedy
Tags
Alchemy Antihero Protagonist Army Building Artifact Crafting Beautiful Female Lead Cannibalism Clever Protagonist Conflicting Loyalties Demi-Humans Demon Lord Demons Empires Human Experimentation, Human Weapon ,Magical Technology, Master-Servant Relationship, Multiple POV, Mythical Beasts, Slave Protagonist, Sword And Magic , Twisted Personality, Unique Weapons, Unrequited Love, Weak to Strong
It's a bit hard to create a title. for something don't really know much about, like rest of story's plot. Its great that it kinda showed the inner thoughts of the character, but that was about it.
 

Moon36

Active member
Joined
May 23, 2021
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Nice scene. Takes me into the thoughts of the mc protagonist and gives a little insight into who she was, and what briefly happened that led up to the events now. i liked that last hook; got me interested a bit in wanting to hear what's next.

Apologies anyone if I missed your synopses. Been busying a little doing stuff and may be less active on SHF.

Some synopsis stood out though.

Nice.


Nice. I liked reading your synopsis; it kinda gives me synopsis vibes often found in published books.


It's a bit hard to create a title. for something don't really know much about, like rest of story's plot. Its great that it kinda showed the inner thoughts of the character, but that was about it.
I see... thank you for the feed back.
 

GreenHexagon

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Messages
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Points
73
Try number 2.

The stories always end with "Thus the hero defeated the villain and lived happily ever after." A few show the reality.
But what if the 'villain' was the heroes own blood?
 

Blacklight85

New member
Joined
Sep 29, 2021
Messages
1
Points
1
Genre: Evolution, Survival, Action
Title: Evolve to Survive

Currently writing this story as I post this. I just wanted to get some feedback on it.

Synopsis
David finds himself in another world but not before meeting the creator of the new world and the previous world. Unlike the home he, and many others, finds familiar, the new world is both hostile and does not follow the same rules. Creatures that do not and should not exist roam this new world freely. Fortunately, David is skilled and is promised companionship. Whatever that means, David will have to figure it out as he survives the land.
 
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