How would you describe your main antagonist as poorly as possible?

Ilikewaterkusa

You have to take out their families...
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The title basically explains it all. I just want to see how other people on this site would describe their antagonists as humorously as possible. To start off I'll describe the antagonists from each of my stories.

Merlin, but he simped so hard that he decided that the earth should start over with him and his dead wife as the new Adam and Eve.

A chain-smoking Russian pothead who usually wears a tank top, pajama pants, and giant fuzzy slippers. Despite the looks, he is capable of seeing the future and works under a group of researchers whose job description is creating terrible scenarios for other ability users to suffer through on a lawless island.

and finally, Politics.
Stupid unqualified normie leader.
 

killwrites

Need motivation
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Cassandra but she decides to pull a 1000iq move and start a political revolution so that everyone will believe her words about how the world they live in is simply the imagination of an author who wants to make them suffer...
 

ElijahRyne

Not that Lazy…
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Aedifex can’t take a punch, he has no jaw, he sacrificed it to his god, who is sealed on the moon. He tries to make his god great again by trying to get people to Pokémon go to the church, but is rejected by younger generations. Currently he is being chased by a cloud of decaying hands. And, uhh, he does paperwork?
 

MerCurry

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It's life shitting on people.

Or alternatively, assholes who make life worse for people because life is unfair to them.
 

BenJepheneT

Light Up Gold - Parquet Courts
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The title basically explains it all. I just want to see how other people on this site would describe their antagonists as humorously as possible. To start off I'll describe the antagonists from each of my stories.

Merlin, but he simped so hard that he decided that the earth should start over with him and his dead wife as the new Adam and Eve.

A chain-smoking Russian pothead who usually wears a tank top, pajama pants, and giant fuzzy slippers. Despite the looks, he is capable of seeing the future and works under a group of researchers whose job description is creating terrible scenarios for other ability users to suffer through on a lawless island.

and finally, Politics.
I'll describe my antagonists from each of my stories (including the unreleased ones) in very vague fashions:
  1. society but violence
  2. society but horny
  3. society but wishful salvation from overwhelming corporatism
  4. society but dragons
wow we truly do live in one, huh
 

Emi_the_Fairy

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I have a few

First: Street punk who thinks he's the big shark in a new world, because he can juggle some fire

Second: Ex-military man hates magic so much that he magicked himself into a robot and thinks you should to.

And third: what if superman, but he was such a jerk and unheroic he managed to make several galaxies decide "heroism is kinda terrible."
 

Lorelliad

If you love me, tie my hair 🎵
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Militaristic space empire without magic so they want to steal it from other planets
 
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qrt

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Hell yeah, sounds fun! I have two but one is kinda spoilery haha so don't mind me

First one: The bad guy was bad parenting all along! How dare you not Dad as badly as I, the worst Dad ever.

Second one: The scawwy Dragon is misunderstood, but he's good in one timeline, so please love him back--no? Oh, okay,
Guess He'll Die.
 

Ruyi

༺ aureate sect ༻
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My main antagonist is well-meaning but in the most terrible of ways. But well, the end justifies the means, right?
 
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Paul_Tromba

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My main antagonist is well-meaning but in the most terrible of ways. But well, the end justifies the means, right?
it depends on the means and the end. if the end isn't worth it then the means can't be justified.
 
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DevilPogoStick

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A high school student who decided to play Emperor of Mankind-I mean the entire delinquent population with delusional plans to take over the city with a massive tiger fetish.
 

Paul_Tromba

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A high school student who decided to play Emperor of Mankind-I mean the entire delinquent population with delusional plans to take over the city with a massive tiger fetish.
There's a lot to unpack here. Um... so you have Code Geass X Tony the Tiger? I really don't know what to say.
 

DevilPogoStick

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Yep, as poorly as I can describe him (he's in a story I haven't post on SH yet).
 
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