BenJepheneT
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  • I may be straight, but i'm not actually attracted to women.

    no, i'm attracted to FEMININITY. it's a whole 'nother world of difference.

    if the penis looks feminine enough, i'll hit it.
    I'm reading Mein Kampf on the train and giggling sensibly every 5 pages. A lady in a burka stared at me in horror for a moment. I gave her a nod and giggled away.
    BenJepheneT
    BenJepheneT
    "free to purchase" i paid 20 for this natsoc garbage and you tell me I could've gotten it for free?
    tiaf
    tiaf
    Umm, free to purchase as in its not indexed, so you can easily buy it everywhere.
    But yeah there are pdfs of the whole book for free. Original version in full length '-'
    BenJepheneT
    BenJepheneT
    Damn

    Even if I got the book for free I'd still ask for a refund
    • Haha
    Reactions: tiaf
    I aspire to be the kind of guy who says Bonjourno to every waiter in an Italian restaurant and refuse to change despite being corrected multiple times
    BenJepheneT
    BenJepheneT
    bitch im here to serve meatballs not to be your translator, now what the fuck do you want
    owotrucked
    owotrucked
    No, the waiter is supposed to sigh and unzips his pants
    BenJepheneT
    BenJepheneT
    we don't know what you italian fucks do in your restaurant but in here, you either suck the spaghetti or suck our dicks

    now which meat-based product would you like to order, sir?
    i've found this youtube channel that reviews 20th century military rations and the guy fucking eats them. 1944 ww2 ration? into the fucking gullet it goes.

    SakeVision
    SakeVision
    people will do a lot for clout and some cash
    BenJepheneT
    BenJepheneT
    clout or cash or not, i'm entertained
    Anon_Y_Mousse
    Anon_Y_Mousse
    Ohh yeah I've watched this guy a while ago. He reviews food from all eras of warfare lol. I remember him eating some hardtack from the damn American civil war.
    Hey dad, good morn-

    "*begins five minute rant about how I shouldn't leave the laptop on sleep all night and how that eats away the battery and kills the efficiency and eats more of the electric bill and indicates my negligence that will undoubtedly lead me to a life of crime and poverty*"

    In other words, cigarette prices have gone up again in my local area.
    BenJepheneT
    BenJepheneT
    Sometimes I wonder if my dad is a woman.
    owotrucked
    owotrucked
    Ha, what a nerd. I would have beaten you up with the belt on went on my day without further elaborating if I were him.
    BenJepheneT
    BenJepheneT
    a fatherly lesson: "always keep your enemies guessing what the fuck they did wrong. never elaborate."
    we need to discuss the carbon footprint of cum evaporation
    gogo7966
    gogo7966
    the only part of a liquid that evaporates is the water leaving everything else behind thus makeing a stain.
    BenJepheneT
    BenJepheneT
    what size women's shoe does that carbon footprint amount to
    gogo7966
    gogo7966
    unmesurably small
    just when i thought i've run out of things to lewd



    Minecraft Mobs Rule 63 series coming soon to Artist Showcase threads near you
    i'm waiting for my lecture to be over so i can take this day-old-due dump but then the old man said "can we have a replacement for our CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY right now?" and it was a majority agreement so now im holding my shit in pressurized rage while he bangs on about economics for the next hour

    im gonna shit diamonds at the end of this
    SilvCrimBlac
    SilvCrimBlac
    Well, if you shit diamonds, at least you won't have any problems paying bills in your immediate future. I do recommend, however, developing a backup economic/financial plan as I highly doubt your anus can sustain this newfound strategy for too long.
    this december i would wreck my scimitar so hard i'll power wash the paint off my ceiling and kill the rats living in the attic under my roof
    TheTrinary
    TheTrinary
    Oh, so that's what you call your penis.
    BenJepheneT
    BenJepheneT
    my tool possesses many titles
    if i'm a really good terrorist and it comes to the endgame of a hydrogen bomb detonating in the middle of a capital city, i'd ask for a gay presidential sex tape as ransom.

    doesn't matter what position. i don't care if it's trump doing a cowboy on hulk hogan or sanna marin scissoring katy perry, so long as it's a presidential sex tape.
    greyblob
    greyblob
    It's pretty much as Sake said. Queen's daughter was kidnapped. The abductor's only demand was for the prime minster to fuck a pig live on national tv.
    BenJepheneT
    BenJepheneT
    i'm a terrorist, not a pervert.

    if we were to go that far, i would've demanded something to go prolapse
    greyblob
    greyblob
    you just gotta get more creative. and for what it's worth, the pig was a female. I remember that being specifically pointed out.
    i think about the death of my parents every night.

    not as a thought experiment, but as a preparation in case the spontaneous arrives. every time i go to sleep i just prepare myself for the possibility that my mother would simply not be there, or that this'll be the last time i say goodnight to my father. i do this so that i could minimize the shock and pain whenever it eventually happens.
    Mysticant
    Mysticant
    Embrace the joyous moments, treat all scuffles and conflicts with grace, and brace for the eventual parting. All of it is a tragic part of life, I wish you and your family to have blessed lives. Stay safe and treasure every moment.

    -edit: Okay that is cringey. My expiry date feels closer each time I come up with such phrases.
    SakeVision
    SakeVision
    me too, mostly cause I want inheritance
    BenJepheneT
    BenJepheneT
    well my family's poor as shit. i won't have an inheritance but objectively speaking, we might live easier with one less mouth to feed. unless it's my father, which is the family's breadwinner; then we're officially checking into Poverty Town
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