i was invited to a discord roast battle where i told a black guy that "if you were the one that fell into harambe's enclosure, they would've shot the right ape."
i wasn't invited back since.
i wasn't invited back since.
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>make a movie in 2009
>smash hit, #1 Box Office record
>no one remembers it
>go off the grid
>come back 14 years later for a sequel
>everyone clowns on it for being a fluke, will mostly likely be a financial bust
>proceeds to rape the box office and goes on track to surpass the first movie
I sometimes think maintaining a sexy female physique is harder than getting buff. For the latter, you just schedule/plan your meals and lift heavy. For the former, you not only have to do those, but the process is so fucking complicated compared to the linear progression of "get bigger". There's like 20 different exercises for ass shapes, and if you miss one day out of the two year process, you're out of OF top 20%.
I fucking hate pedophiles man. Back then, "your daughter is so cute, she'll definitely be attractive when she grows up" was an innocent compliment. Thanks to kid diddlers it's now a stranger danger alarm.
I've been flipping butterfly knives for the better part of a month. Today might be my last day. My balisong is made of steel. The kitchen floor is tiled with marble. Do the maths.
every once in a while I remember that westerners dry wipe their ass with tissue paper after taking a shit and I gloat in absolute pride as my cheeks drip wet from the luxury that is a bidet hose
I've just crossed 1000 hours played for GTA Online. Is it healthy? I don't know anymore, it's pretty much part of my lifestyle to at least deliver 3 crates to my warehouse once a day.
Dear game developers,
Please double check before naming your weapons.
Sincerely,
Amused Player
i found a new hobby of singing japanese pop songs in an early 2000s pop-punk lead singer accent.
i would sing "kotowaru" as "koutouweirou" while heavily emphasising each syllable and at least spitting once per word.
just imagine 30 seconds to mars singing yoasobi's Into the Night
the stars aligned and I've managed to book two shifts from two different jobs in the same mall for two dates. I'll literally be serving my co workers food samples in the morning and selling gaming chairs to my OTHER co workers in the evening.
AVATAR 2 DOES 1.5 FUCKING BILLION IN THE BOX OFFICE. THE ODDS WERE STACKED 100% AGAINST IT. HOW DOES JAMES CAMERON DO IT. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS HAPPEN TWICE.
I was speaking to this kid and I told a dumb joke and she asked if I was from Ohio I can't take this shit anymore man
dinosaurs, under the influence of perpetually unimpressed, nihilistic adolescents with a passing interest in Paleontology, are now known to gen z to just be giant feathery reptiles akin to chickens.
by that same token, we can now equate geese to dangerous, prehistoric beasts, and that's all the more justification as to why it's fair, civil duty to introduce any stray goose i meet the good name of John Browning.
I've did some rabbit hole diving into the CSGO skin market and surprisingly enough, it's one of the most stable economies out there, more so than actual countries. something from 2014 costs about as much as it does today, save for some fluctuations but they usually correct themselves in a single day or so.
haven't been posting much, but that's because im working on a full length doujin one shot. yes, there'll be xxx, but it's mainly story first, smut later.
i legit forgot it's a new year i was sound asleep when my ears got gang raped by china's finest smuggled fireworks reenacting pearl harbour's audio scene from my neighbour's porch
my sister's been acting like Wednesday from Wednesday, but I'm not stopping her. She's having her female sigma phase, and I'd hate to ruin such crucial character development.
plus, it's more ammo to make her cringe once she grows up.
i've recently got into cosplaying. more specifically, tactical cosplaying. EXTRA specifically, the Anarchist terrorist faction from CSGO.
i've even bought an olive CZ75 model and painted it with a worn, gun metal coating. for my next step, i'll 3d model parts from a C4 and print em with resin.
Im no different from an actual terrorist at this point, thinking about it now
I feel like modern memes are working off pure internet peer pressure where if something random is spouted enough times everyone acts like it's funny to fit in with the crowd
you check the chimney for Santa. I check my airducts for NYC cops on vacation. We are not the same. -
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