i want a cute animal wife. a chipmunk. i want to wake up in a Disney house carved out a thick tree trunk and be greeted by a rodent in an apron while i sit on a giant stool over a miniature table set and sip tea from a Barbie tea cup. she will give me a peck on the cheek and i will drive to work in a tricycle and meet my coworkers Johnny the Rabbit and Ron the sex-offending Hyena who somehow escapes HR every time.
Movie idea: a white supremacist dwarf is forced to manage/coach for an NBA team. He doesn't learn from his racism, improves the whole team with spite, and beats everyone at the finals while making his team wear Klan headwear. The movie ends with the dwarf shot dead by his own players and both his death/win is covered up. However, the team never wins another game again.
ive tried colouring my sketches for the first time since forever. ive learned two lessons: A) never do it again and, B) if you do it again, steal the colour pencils from your sister because her friend gifted her an artist grade box set at her birthday for no apparent reason
i called a lactose intolerant friend "lactarded" today. out of all the ethnic slurs and insults i've thrown at him, this was the one time where i truly saw betrayal in his gaze. the abyss stared back, and all i saw was my visage, heaving in cruel laughter.
I haven't met that one beautiful girl in the train in which we converse in a heartfelt dialogue for 14 minutes and never meet again, but I have talked to a lot of elderlies that somehow frequent the trains enough that I can recognize a few.
China is just one big found-footage disaster movie set. i just saw a tesla crash through a bicycle and a truck on a chinese highway right after seeing an old chinese guy melt in a tar factory RIGHT AFTER seeing as escalator swallow a chinese kid.
are the chinese breeding faster than they're getting killed how are all of them still alive?