Blue Ball and Intercourse are only 15 minutes away from each other~
That's what Google Maps told me
That's what Google Maps told me
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Anime girls manning high-explosive weaponries gotta be my favorite gender~
So, I was telling a buddy of mine about how Victorian snobs used to ground up mummies to season their food, right?
And he, straight-faced and sipping his beer, just nodded, "So, Egyptian Dry-aged Rub? Ya think it'll go with smoked brisket?"
I either need a new friend or another beer. Or both.
I wrote Understood as 'Un the stood', and then spent the last two minutes figuring out why that looked so off.
I should brew myself another cup of coffee before continuing my paper.
My current timeline is a mix of anime titties, US politics in a dumpster-fire, and cats being adorable.
Monday, amirite?
HOW DARE A MERE GOONER-BAIT GACHA MAKE ME CRY?!!
Why can I remember all 1000+ Pokemon and 100+ waifu names and quirks across all of my gacha games, but can't remember 20-odd essential animo acid for a test?!
Might have found a new favorite weapon, the Scoped Ax~~
First game:
Started because of Waifu with guns
Stayed because of PTSD-inducing story
Second game:
Started because of PTSD-inducing story
Stayed because of feet
Only took 7 years for it to come around~~~
Waifu over META
It's a Christmas miracle! Just cleaned my room and located my lost Pokemon Emerald DS cartridge. Boot it up, and what greets me is my first ever Shiny!
Oh, how much I missed you, Bubblegum the Pink Mawile!
Younger sister in anime:
I love you, Onii-chan or You're a fucking loser, perv
Younger sister in IRL:
*me chillin' in my room upstair*
*texted me to come down to the kitchen*
*is not in the kitchen*
"Can you get me some ice cream in the freezer while you're down there? Thank" -Holler from upstairs
*me grumbling about her being a lazy asshole but does it anyway*
Just got an impromptu French lesson
Turn out fiancé is masculine and fiancée is feminine. Huh, half of my engaged characters turned out to be gay, it seem…
Today, I just witnessed a dumbass crossing 4 lanes of a busy highway just a dozen feet ahead of me at 85 MPH cus the asshole missed their exit. I really need to move to the desert and enjoy the sun all by myself.
And yes, it was a lift-up F-150 with too many political stickers and a truck-nut swinging in the wind.
Curse you, jamais vu!
Ran into some old acquaintances, and now I look like an asshole for not recalling their names or faces.
'Exsanguinate' is totally something a vampire would have in their vocabulary~~~
Huh...I didn't know that rolled-up sleeves were considered slutty by the fairer sex. Was told by a friend that it is the male version of Victorian Exposed Ankles.
Modern generals strive to be as good as Napoleon. Napolean worships Ceaser. Ceaser wishes to be as great as Alexanders. Alexanders look up to Achilles. Achilles wishes to be Heracles. So, and so, this continues all the way back to the second caveman admiring the first one.
Let's cut all that middlemen, and strive to be the very best cavemen!
I can't feel my arm anymore.
WHY, IN THE DEVIL'S RIGHT NIPPLE, IS THE FUNNY BONE A THING?!?!?!
DEAR GOD, WHY?! -
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