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The opposite of Microsoft office is Macrohard onfire.
There are no similarities between French Toast and Egg Salad Sandwiches but they both have pretty much the same ingredients. Why are the culinary arts so strange and disturbing?
For those that don't know, the singer of Peanut Butter Jelly Time was killed after an 11 hour stand-off with the police, during which his brother in-law, Snoop Dogg tried to talk him into a surrender.
I like to think that I have good self control but in reality, I've just made enough mistakes to know what limitations are needed to prevent a hellscape from occuring. I'm still really bad at it.
At least once before I die, I want to attempt to bring a live Cod fish on a plane so that I can be blacklisted for illegal cod-traband. I would most likely do this after I have a foot in the grave.
I can't believe that no one remembers the Folgers incest commercials because of James Cameron's Avatar. That was such good meme material but everyone was too busy watching the Blue Man Group perform Pocahontas with aliens.
Pop-tarts are a form of ravioli.
I have made a vow that has yet to be fulfilled. However, I will deliver on my word sometime between tonight and Sunday.
Mime's are to clowns as dogs are to wolves.
Leave it to the French to make a weapon that fires a three round burst but give it a magazine capacity that isn't divisible by three.
If you have a son who becomes a priest, are you supposed to call him son or father?
No one ever really stops clapping. The time between claps just gets longer.
My family's honeybees died due to the cold winter a few years back. This year, we're cutting down dead trees for firewood and so that we can plant more, only to find that one of the dead-standing trees was completely hollowed out and full of thousands of honeybees. They survived and now we have some honey and lots of wild honeybees. I wonder how many other dead hollow trees are filled with these bees now?
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I have no motivation to do anything right now.
Interesting concept: Rats are the Capri-sun of the vampire world. Also, since coconut water can act as a substitute for blood in a transfusion, it would be safe to say that vegan vampire's could live off of coconut water.
When you search the corpses of people you worked hard to kill and they don't have any money.
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