The child is sitting on the toilet honking his rubber chicken and scolding it for not being quiet in the library . . . "I think my chicken friend farted."
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I seem to have grown another butt.
Husband: There's water everywhere.
Me: Just be thankful our toddler has a self-cleaning mode.
Toddler: No I don't. I only have a wash mode.
Please give me ideas to convince my kid to taste hummus.
This cardboard chair is better for the planet Earth, so we will live forever.
Kid: If we drill holes in the hose, we won't have to use the sprinkler. *runs outside*
'o'
You changed your username!
What made you pick caution?
X
I did it carefully.
what did your kid do for mothers day.
Grandma . . . I mean Mama . . . I mean Dada . . . This music is making me dance, not eat.
I just watched Chillar Party on Netflix. It's marked as Leaving Soon. The kid wasn't interested in it because he can't read well enough for subtitles yet, but it's certainly a hidden gem I found only after blocking all of the mindless drivel on the kid's account.
Me: You need to get dressed before you see Grandma and Grandpa.
Kid: *one sandal on, other foot on dustpan, holding long dustpan handle and broom* But I'm designed like this!
No pinkis. No greenis. No blueis. No redis.
RepresentingParenthood when?
Mama, you are too big to fit down the hole in the drain.
*huggles*
\(^o^)/
Hope you've been doing well!
Hope the little one is as well.
Or, would he be considered a little one, still...?
Well, probably.
At least compared to us.
\o/
X
Me: Can you please hold this bowl on your legs to warm up the butter? We need it at room temperature.
Kid: My scrotum is warm and not my legs, so I will put it on my scrotum.
Drop your clothes . . . Stomp! Stomp on your clothes! Drop your hat!
^what happens when you give a boy dolls
Kid: Mama, why does the bathtub look like that?
Me: Your dad calked it.
Kid: Don't touch cock. Hahahaha. Touch cock touch cock. Hahahahaha. *kisses my leg. Runs away*
Kid: I taste like poop.
Me: Why do you taste like poop?
Kid: Just lick me.
Me. I don't want to taste poop. Please take a bath before I lick you. -
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