Primitive (highly sci-fi/magical) invention?

LilTV1155

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This invention looks very ancient or primitive, but it turn out to be high-tech and or magical for some purposes.

Main Idea:
Storage tool
.
My idea is sort of based off on a phonograph cylinder with a hand crank and clockwork gears and hand pump for springlocks. The sound box will replay and send out audio through the horn. But it is accompanied by metal tube which will project motion images with color when touched by moonlight or lit up by black flame. Wax cylinder will rotate while held up magnetically.

Cylinder made of wax. Shaft is hollowed bone femur with data crystal disks.

Projector tube is metal rod with cement casing. It's the size of a modern pen with 7 radioactive memory glass marbles, each separated by a pair of refractive and reflective lenses from other glass marbles.
.
Require user's soulprint and magic to open and use.
.
Wrong soulprint and not enough magic = lethal jack in box attack from artifact.

Wrong soulprint, but enough magic power to charge for use. Will still receive a surprise attack in form of poisons or flying eletrocution needles.
 
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Jemini

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Ok, I think you might be over-working your design here.

If you're going to design some kind of technology, the very first primary question you should always ask is "why?" What purpose does your piece of technology serve? What niche does it fill? Every single feature of your piece of technology should answer these questions, and by the sounds of it, I really don't think you have done that properly with this thing.

As it stands, it looks like you are just making the item to be "mysterious" without even thinking of the "why" question at all.
 

K5Rakitan

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Is this some sort of multifunctional tool?
 

LilTV1155

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Ok, I think you might be over-working your design here.

If you're going to design some kind of technology, the very first primary question you should always ask is "why?" What purpose does your piece of technology serve? What niche does it fill? Every single feature of your piece of technology should answer these questions, and by the sounds of it, I really don't think you have done that properly with this thing.

As it stands, it looks like you are just making the item to be "mysterious" without even thinking of the "why" question at all.
Data storage that can withstand the decay of time.
Is this some sort of multifunctional tool?
No. Not a smartphone.
 

Jemini

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Data storage that can withstand the decay of time.

If that's all you need, you could literally just write it down on a gold tablet. Gold is a noble metal, it doesn't decay.

That's not enough to justify looking like a phonograph, that does not justify it functioning off the moonlight or magic-based fire, it also does not justify all those deadly traps.

Your "why" answer cannot just answer the question for 1 of the features. You have to ask "why" for every single individual feature installed, and every single design choice. Every single one of those things need answers. Otherwise, there's a million more practical means by which to achieve the same thing.
 

Zirrboy

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If that's all you need, you could literally just write it down on a gold tablet. Gold is a noble metal, it doesn't decay.

That's not enough to justify looking like a phonograph, that does not justify it functioning off the moonlight or magic-based fire, it also does not justify all those deadly traps.

Your "why" answer cannot just answer the question for 1 of the features. You have to ask "why" for every single individual feature installed, and every single design choice. Every single one of those things need answers. Otherwise, there's a million more practical means by which to achieve the same thing.
This is writing prompts, so I think the over-engineering is intentional
 

Jemini

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This is writing prompts, so I think the over-engineering is intentional

This is writing prompts, therefore the OP should conform even more closely to the rules of writing for the example piece.
 

Zirrboy

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This is writing prompts, therefore the OP should conform even more closely to the rules of writing for the example piece.
To get a grasp on a certain skill, I often find it taught with "overshoot" of meticulousness. As you get the hang of it, the parts you know by heart become inferred.
 

Jemini

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To get a grasp on a certain skill, I often find it taught with "overshoot" of meticulousness. As you get the hang of it, the parts you know by heart become inferred.
I... really don't understand what you are trying to say with this. It sounds like you are saying a bunch of truisms, but I do not see how it relates to the subject at hand or what message related to the current discussion you were trying to communicate with those true, but (as far as I can tell) irrelevant statements.
 

Kilolo

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ummm, honestly. i tried to read the description slowly and i still can't visualize it in my head.
 

Zirrboy

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I... really don't understand what you are trying to say with this. It sounds like you are saying a bunch of truisms, but I do not see how it relates to the subject at hand or what message related to the current discussion you were trying to communicate with those true, but (as far as I can tell) irrelevant statements.
At least the way I understand writing prompts is honing your writing with little ideas that allow you to go in detail with one specific field.
To which end I'd say this initial overengineering is excusable.

Though that is not to say that the way this one is put is ideal, but I think the issue lies with clarity rather than pure level of detail.
 

LilTV1155

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Phonograph cylinder with wax can capture audio
If that's all you need, you could literally just write it down on a gold tablet. Gold is a noble metal, it doesn't decay.

That's not enough to justify looking like a phonograph, that does not justify it functioning off the moonlight or magic-based fire, it also does not justify all those deadly traps.

Your "why" answer cannot just answer the question for 1 of the features. You have to ask "why" for every single individual feature installed, and every single design choice. Every single one of those things need answers. Otherwise, there's a million more practical means by which to achieve the same thing.
So that's what you meant. Okay, but thanks for the golden tip!
-----------------
Name of Device - Aosian Datacase
Purpose - Store 50 millennium (50,000 years) of oral, visual, electronic, magic, and written records
Origins - Aydean
Category - Aosian Inventions
Dangerous Lv. 3
-
1. Phonograph design in appearance

Why: To capture soundwaves via the horn and print them onto the wax cylinder in grooves with a diaphragmic stylus and replay the sounds back to the users/listeners, i.e. Sound Recording.

What: A box the size of a portable laptop with a horn shaped speaking pipe on top of it. At the end of the horn, a diaphragm with 20 needles is attached and positioned over the wax cylinder, so the needle can print soundwaves in groovy lines using vibrations.

Only 1 needle is needed to print soundwaves. The other 19 are retracted into the diaphragmic shell for later use unless the primary needle is too worn out, broken, or the playing time limit have either reached 2.30 hours or was paused. After the break or 2.30 hr, the diaphragm's second needle will puncture above the first needle's grooved line before retracting the first needle.

The diaphragm rod will move down 2 centimeters from 1st line and the second needle will switch to primary needle position in clockwise rotation after the 1st needle's extraction. This help prevent damaging one stylus needle and allow for longer record keeping.

The wax cylinder is composed of a hollowed tusk drum covered in hardened carnauba (palm) wax, which was already anti-mold proofed. Inside the tusk drum, there is 27 data crystal disks each with mana circuits separated by 9 metal shelf plates which are slightly magnetic.

A ring of 8 lodestone pieces is held in place horizontally by a small wooden pole with a metal ball. The pole has mana circuit linking to the hand pump and the hand crank. Magnet field is created and will activate when the user's soul energy is sapped into the device.

Spin-stabilized magnetic levitation + electrodynamic wheel

The wax cylinder will spin due to rotating magnet field and mana circuit to allow the diaphragm's primary needle to record and play back sound. At the same time, the changes in magnet fields can cause the metal plates inside the ivory drum to rearrange the crystal molecules inside each disc, which will record magnetic movements.
-
-
2. Projector tube is positioned far from the wax cylinder in the upper left corner of the box with spider-webbed mana circuit drawn all over it. Those circuit are connected to the hand pump (palm sized press button) which activate the tube. The spider-web circuit is taken after the dreamcatcher and will capture moonlight energy from the full moon or the energy from the black flame of a solar eclipse for manual usages. That energy is filtered into the metal tube where the light shine upward and light up all 7 glass marbles.

7 glass marbles are separated by a pair of refractive and reflective crystal lenses will allow for visual projections and laser color printing into glass marble's tiny bubbles. The visual images are projected out of the metal's flute-like holes toward the User's left side with a holographic rendering.

Superman memory glass/5d optical data storage applied.

Other Elemental energies used to turn on the Datacase -
Star
Sun - Chaos
Moon - Ether
Aeoncytwi Kgu Contract
Nuclear Radiation
 

Jemini

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At least the way I understand writing prompts is honing your writing with little ideas that allow you to go in detail with one specific field.
To which end I'd say this initial overengineering is excusable.

Though that is not to say that the way this one is put is ideal, but I think the issue lies with clarity rather than pure level of detail.

ummm, honestly. i tried to read the description slowly and i still can't visualize it in my head.

I don't think I need to say much more. This comment from Kilolo says enough on it's own.

The critique I gave was guidance. This comment Kilolo made illustrates the real problem with what the OP did with their over-engineered design.
 

LilTV1155

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I don't think I need to say much more. This comment from Kilolo says enough on it's own.

The critique I gave was guidance. This comment Kilolo made illustrates the real problem with what the OP did with their over-engineered design.
Then what should I clarify on?
 

Jemini

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Then what should I clarify on?

For starters, are you talking about 1 device or 2 here? That was never really all that clear.

2nd, why does your device need soul energy just to store data? Again, we have far more efficient methods with modern technology, so it seems completely counter-intuitive to use something like soul-energy, moon-energy, or dark-flame energy to do things that modern technology does quite easy with nothing but electricity. When you insert stuff like that without proper justification for that function, it just sounds like you are doing it to be exotic and nothing else and that, in turn, makes the entire thing less believable and thus completely immersion breaking.

You need to answer every why. You still haven't done that, as illustrated by the lack of exlpanation for why these energy power methods are the methods used, and why it has every function that it has. What purpose is it trying to fill?

Unless you have a good answer to truly every single last "why" that can possibly come up, it really looks like most of the functions this thing has are put there for no reason other than to make it look exotic. Thus, it's over-engeneered. It is also this large list of functions that is making it confusing. Therefore, it would actually serve the clarity of your explanation a lot better if you just straight-up removed all of the unnecessary functions. Anything you don't have an easy answer to the "why" question for is an unneeded function. If you find yourself doing mental gymnastics or otherwise straining for an answer, then that means even if you can come up with an answer, it wasn't an "easy" answer. As such, it's still an unneeded function, better cut out of the item's list of functions for the sake of a more clear and easier to envision description.
 

LilTV1155

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For starters, are you talking about 1 device or 2 here? That was never really all that clear.
First Question Answer: 1 Device called Datacase

2nd, why does your device need soul energy just to store data? Again, we have far more efficient methods with modern technology, so it seems completely counter-intuitive to use something like soul-energy, moon-energy, or dark-flame energy to do things that modern technology does quite easy with nothing but electricity. When you insert stuff like that without proper justification for that function, it just sounds like you are doing it to be exotic and nothing else and that, in turn, makes the entire thing less believable and thus completely immersion breaking.
2nd Question: ☝️Title of this Thread ☝️+ I believed that I have mentioned something about it in the 1st line of my 1st post👆

2nd Answer to 2nd Question: This device is not made by a Human, but a Divine Spirit similar to a Demon of Aydean origins. (Alien)


3rd Answer: Datacase is unable to use electricity unless you raise the energy to the hottest nuclear level or remove both neutrons and electrons from the used energy source. If the people try to pry open and force activate the Datacase with simple electricity or even energy generated by lightnings, that energy flow will backfire on them literally and unleash the device's defensive traps.

Though that is not to say that the way this one is put is ideal, but I think the issue lies with clarity rather than pure level of detail.
Clarity? How should I reorganize the details? Or was it the lack of pictures?

Was it the phonograph design?
picture_23.png
Screenshot_20211116-202726_Chrome.jpg

Or was it the phonograph that look like a gramophone?
 
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Zirrboy

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Clarity? How should I reorganize the details? Or was it the lack of pictures?
The first paragraph, which seems to be the "description" part already brings in working principles. In addition you briefly explain the way this sort of phonograph works, but also use terminology that someone who needed the explanation would be probably confused by.

My idea is a cylinder phonograph with an additional pen-sized metal tube that can project moving images.

Now we get into actual feedback:

As far as functionality is concerned, you mention both mechanical and magical means of activation without specifying how it's actually used.

That and me thinking that some things don't work the way you put them there. No cement casing able to shield harmful doses of radiation from a pen sized metal rod would be in any way practical. At small scale, lead is a lot better. The phonograph cylinder floating without any immediate benefit also seems a bit off to me.
Even if it's "counterintuitive" technology, it had to make sense to the people designing it.
 
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Kilolo

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what i'm having problem is not the image, but what the purpose of that thing.

it's like you're saying "this thing can rotate cylinder at more than 500 rpm and it requires gasoline as the fuel"

that's not how you explain a Car, you didn't goes straight to the technical depth on the get go, you start from what is that thing, what is the purpose of that, and how you use it.

you should start from saying "this is a multi people transportation vehicle, it stable and can carry many people at once, and you just need to press the pedal with your feet while aim the direction using the steering wheel using your hands."


i mean, the way you explain it is : this is a storage box, a primitive magical artifact that using soulprint, and it can attack anyone who open it.

like, what?
 

Jemini

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First Question Answer: 1 Device called Datacase


2nd Question: ☝️Title of this Thread ☝️+ I believed that I have mentioned something about it in the 1st line of my 1st post👆

2nd Answer to 2nd Question: This device is not made by a Human, but a Divine Spirit similar to a Demon of Aydean origins. (Alien)


3rd Answer: Datacase is unable to use electricity unless you raise the energy to the hottest nuclear level or remove both neutrons and electrons from the used energy source. If the people try to pry open and force activate the Datacase with simple electricity or even energy generated by lightnings, that energy flow will backfire on them literally and unleash the device's defensive traps.

Why would it heat things up to nuclear levels? It's just data storage. Sounds like you have "solution looking for a problem" syndrome, so you just invented a completely unrealistic problem which, in turn, makes your device far less believable.

And, once again, why does it need magic? We already have electrical devices that can do the exact same thing. Once again, creating problems where there are none.

Magic just for magic's sake does not make for convincing story-craft or world-building.

Based on the answers you just gave me, I say make it so the device can operate on electricity. Maybe it uses lightning stones or something if you MUST insist upon magic for this thing. Or, maybe just straight up mana energy. Maybe mana converts into mechanical energy more efficiently than electricity does.
 

LilTV1155

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what i'm having problem is not the image, but what the purpose of that thing.

it's like you're saying "this thing can rotate cylinder at more than 500 rpm and it requires gasoline as the fuel"

that's not how you explain a Car, you didn't goes straight to the technical depth on the get go, you start from what is that thing, what is the purpose of that, and how you use it.

you should start from saying "this is a multi people transportation vehicle, it stable and can carry many people at once, and you just need to press the pedal with your feet while aim the direction using the steering wheel using your hands."


i mean, the way you explain it is : this is a storage box, a primitive magical artifact that using soulprint, and it can attack anyone who open it.

like, what?
Description of the Datacase:

This storage device resemble a primitive phonograph. It can record and store encrypted data of its User into its data banks (wax cylinder, crystal disks, and memory marbles) for later retrieval. The information inside the device's data banks can project a holographic image or replay the spoken information when played back via vibrations in the cylinder's grooves and lighting up the glass marbles.

The device come with a special lock - soulprint pad (found on the surface of box casing) which scan the operator's soul energy and intents like the Face ID or fingerprints. Only Special Users can power up the device with the correct element attributes and big capacity for magic.

As I have said before, the Data is unable to comprehend electricity and will reflect it back causing a lethal backfire. Human users who attempt to pry the device open with only simple Modem Human Technology, will be burnt to a crisp or be left in a coma.

Datacase contains three types of traps against anti-theft - Radioactive Needles (Human), Springlock Electrocution (Beastman), Energy Drain (Demon)
 
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