Is Jesus a vampire or a zombie?

[K5Rakitan]

We all know that Jesus rose from the dead, but why?

 

[MissPaige36]

If he could turn water into wine, he can turn wine into blood probably

We all know that Jesus rose from the dead, but why?

To beat Judeus's ass

 

[Vnator]

Neither, he's a lich

 

[Kilolo]

a necromancer.

so i would say a zombie Lich

edit : shoot, someone comes up with that faster than me

 

[ArcadiaBlade]

Jesus isn't a zombie, vampire or a lich guys.

He just walk out of the tomb in 3 days in a BROAD DAYLIGHT. So, He's obviously a new racial creature that can summon food out of thin air, turn things into wine and fight off devils....hmn....

A Holy Vampire Perhaps?

 

[Minx]

Where's the ghoul? It's the next evolution for zombie, he can't be just normal zombie.

 

[NotaNuffian]

Nah, the dude is a player who respawned after a specific event quest and perhaps got himself clipped into the background with no admin assistance and then he quit.

One thing is for certain, he ain't a draugr cuz he is not spawn camping his own grave and can't grow to a ridiculous size. I want to see a 30 feet Jesus.

 

[Cipiteca396]

1. Faked his own death so someone would finally let him down.
2. Alien, never human in the first place.
3. Ghoul, those guys are huge on the whole cannibalism thing.
4. Vampire. Also big on cannibalism, and my dad told me about a movie he watched specifically about this plot.

 

[BlackHoleOfImagination]

So many people have drunk from his blood, at least one of them could have been a vampire...

 

[TotallyHuman]

He also rose others from the dead and could heal blindness and could replicate organic objects (such as fish), so I'd say he was a actually a vivimancer or something instead.

 

[SakeVision]

A cyborg in disguise.
When he got stabbed with a spear, there was blood and water. Could it have been oil?

Food for thought.

 

[atgongumerki]

well before he died he was a wizard, or sorcerer, or something to that effect

he also did not store his soul in a phylactery (at least not canonically)

he also didn't appear skelletal

... so he can not be a vampire and not a lich

but he could have been a zombie-mage

Disclaimer: if we try to force him into a category of well-known undead creatures

 

[K5Rakitan]

A cyborg in disguise.
When he got stabbed with a spear, there was blood and water. Could it have been oil?

Food for thought.

Very good point! Now the only question is if he was of alien origin or human origin, but from the future. I'll have to make another thread.

 

[Zirrboy]

I think we have yet to look at the most important clue of all: JeSUS walked AMONG US

Which would mean alien

 

[gaylolis]

someone probably threw a phoenix down on his grave.

 

[K5Rakitan]

someone probably threw a phoenix down on his grave.

Oh! What color?

 

[gaylolis]

Oh! What color?

usually bright red with a bit of tangerine hue

 

[SternenklarenRitter]

Jesus was a time mage. He attached a regression spell to his body, and set it to activate three days later and return him to the state he was in at casting. Also Jesus had XX chromosomes, since virgin births only ever have access to the mother's DNA.

 

[K5Rakitan]

Jesus was a time mage. He attached a regression spell to his body, and set it to activate three days later and return him to the state he was in at casting. Also Jesus had XX chromosomes, since virgin births only ever have access to the mother's DNA.

What if one of the X chromosomes broke and became a Y?

 

[TheTrinary]

Someone watched Midnight Mass