The rules of English walk into a bar.

Chad_B

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 13, 2020
Messages
16
Points
53
A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

A question mark walks into a bar?

A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out—we don’t serve your type.”

A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

A synonym strolls into a tavern.

At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar—fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk and smoking cigars.

A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

 
Last edited:

FallingLeaf

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 27, 2019
Messages
27
Points
53
Boo, hiss, get out of here with your awful grammar puns!:blob_catflip:
(shouldn't the Oxford comma sentence have a comma after television?)
 

BenJepheneT

Light Up Gold - Parquet Courts
Joined
Jul 14, 2019
Messages
5,344
Points
233
Three women sat in a bar, talking about how loose they are.

"I can fit a cucumber," the first woman said.

"I can fit an eggplant," the second woman said.

The third woman said nothing as she slid down the barstool.
 

SilvCrimBlac

A Historical Bastard
Joined
Apr 7, 2019
Messages
332
Points
103
Three women sat in a bar, talking about how loose they are.

"I can fit a cucumber," the first woman said.

"I can fit an eggplant," the second woman said.

The third woman said nothing as she slid down the barstool.
Oh wow. I had to re-read that to make sure I read that right. Hilarious!
 

GDLiZy

Tale Admirer
Joined
Dec 23, 2018
Messages
598
Points
133
Per The Element of Style, you should keep the tense consistent throughout the work.
 
Top