ZynGrand
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  • Imagine yourself falling into a vat of black goop. It squirms around you as you fall deeper down. Through your earpiece, you here orchestra of voices explaining death.

    They're all here to send you off.

    Vsause, explaining how death works. Morgan Freeman, narrating your dive. And Bob Ross, telling you it's fine. There's others, but you can't tell who they are.
    ZynGrand
    ZynGrand
    Someday, I want to experience that utter calmness as the reaper came for my soul.
    weakwithwords
    weakwithwords
    Death by Chocolate, Susan of Discworld series
    Yorda
    Yorda
    Bob Ross, "You may be dying, but it's a happy little mistake."
    Me: "... ohohoho. Villainess! Villainess! Villainess!"
    Honestly when I found out we would get to stay at home all day, I thought I'd have more free time, not less...
    It doesn't matter what you say,
    They'll all forget the very next day.

    So be proud of your own self,
    don't be merchandise on a shelf.

    look for your soul, a hobby, a goal,
    do things for yourself and you'll feel full.

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    ZynGrand
    ZynGrand
    I'm no scholar, writer,
    Nor am I free.
    I'm awkward and clumsy,
    But looking for me.

    I know I'm a mess,
    a clutter.
    There's no need to repeat.
    Pointing the obvious,
    is no incredible feat.

    I don't have the answers, the truth,
    Nor what you want.
    I'm full of problems,
    I'm full of faults.

    But I look for my truth,
    My light in my tunnel,
    I'll follow my path,
    And you should as well.
    BenJepheneT
    BenJepheneT
    YO MAN, WHAT BEEF YOU GOT WON'T MATTER
    THEY GON' DITCH YOU LIKE A SICK-ASS HOE LATER

    GOTTA LEARN TO SUCK YO' OWN DICK
    DON'T BE SOME GROCERY FOR JAMIE TO PICK

    LOOK FOR SUMM TO MAKE YOUR COCK HARD
    KEEP YOUR INSIDES FULL LIKE YOU CHUGGED LARD
    I show the truth,
    Even while shattered,
    I show what's there,
    Whether rich, busted, or tattered.


    Who am I?

    Nahrenne
    Nahrenne
    Mirror.
    ZynGrand
    ZynGrand
    This is only the beginning!
    Yorda
    Yorda
    You have suddenly reignited my desire to buy a lego storm trouper / droid army.
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    Yorda
    Yorda
    I just wanted to be hip and fashionable like everyone else, so I did some art on a black background ...
    BenJepheneT
    BenJepheneT
    Point of shitposting is there needs to be an underlying consistency behind it. You must exhibit a conscious theme of what you're gonna shitpost and play it with your identity. The audience must be able to expect what you'd post but at the same time, surprised by your posts, even if they expect something of the same calibre.
    BenJepheneT
    BenJepheneT
    I'm no shitpost master expert; that's our Lord and Saviour Pukicho, but I'm working on it day by day.
    Step 1: Flail
    Step 2: Breathe
    Step 3: Let Go
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    BenJepheneT
    BenJepheneT
    instructions unclear, melted the polar ice caps and unsunk the Titanic
    ZynGrand
    ZynGrand
    You UNSUNK the Titanic?!!?

    Do you know how much planning it took for me to bribe fate?!?!
    ZynGrand
    ZynGrand
    Also if you're having trouble drowning try again but this time with someone you thought you could trust throwing you off a bridge into the sea below.

    That should help!
    (Reminder)
    Every time you open your mouth you run the risk of acquiring broken kneecaps.

    To stop this, remember to: D.I.E

    D - Don't just say what comes to mind.
    I - Improve your thought with high class vocabulary.
    E - Expect to at any moment be put in a stranglehold by lovecraftian loan sharks.
    (Reminder)
    -Fun Fact-
    Since the year 1800, there has been a 500% increase of anti-idiot violence.

    If you or your loved ones believe you might soon be victim of this, please call the authorities, who will send you to the next realm peacefully.
    -Fun Fact-
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    ZynGrand
    ZynGrand
    -Warning-
    If you are participating in anti-idiot crimes, you can get up to 1 slap-of-the-wrist and a jelly donut fine.

    If those numbers scare you, come to us, the authorities, and we'll give you a pat on the back and a dollar.

    We'll also allow, at your discretion, to choose what form of torture your gang members will endure.
    -Warning-
    BenJepheneT
    BenJepheneT
    I will turn your right nut to your left nut
    -Fact-
    As technology advances, humanity becomes dumber.
    -Fact-

    [Source]

    I forgot the password to my phone twice in one day.
    [Source]
    • Like
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    ZynGrand
    ZynGrand
    <Advertisement>
    To help improve your memory, use a patented CrabNode Cancer implant™!

    This simple implant technologically increases your short term memory by 144%!

    So come on in to any of our legitimate and legal clinics to get a "quick-n-easy" dose of Cancer in you head!
    <Advertisement>
    BenJepheneT
    BenJepheneT
    We arrive closer to Deus Ex everyday more than we can imagine.
    • Haha
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    -Fun Fact-
    If you can juggle, you have a 90% chance to have wasted your time.
    You also have a 35% chance to be attacked by a wild clown at any moment.
    -Fun Fact-
    Yorda
    Yorda
    By probability,

    1st day, 96.50% chance to not be attacked by clowns ~3.5% chance to be attacked
    2nd day, 93.12% chance to not be attacked if I have not yet been attacked ~7% chance to be attacked
    3rd day, 89.86% " ~10%
    4th, 86.71% " ~13%
    5th, 83.68% " ~16.5%
    10th, 70.03% "
    15th, 58.60% "

    But really, my chances of having been attacked by clowns on the 5th day by taking my chances each day would be 58.60%.
    Yorda
    Yorda
    But, if I buy more than one bat ... then I'll feel much safer! The fun fact never said the effects don't stack! Therefore I will exploit this game mechanic.
    BenJepheneT
    BenJepheneT
    Or buy a gun. An equaliser, really. Why go through great lengths when you can pop a cap in some circus ass?
    I have decided to try and talk more even if I think no one cares to deal with my loneliness and lack of friends.
    :blob_shade:
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