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  1. TheTrinary

    Another First Chapter+ Feedback

    I'd be happy with some harsh criticism. See story on the left of my sig. If you don't mind double dipping, story on my right. That one doesn't work and I'm not sure how to tweak it yet.
  2. TheTrinary

    How do you find motivation?

    I just remind myself that I'll be dead someday. I'm not even joking. It's a big motivator. Better use the time you have.
  3. TheTrinary

    Writing Prompt Write in 2nd Point of View

    It's a legitimate novel, published through an honest to God publisher, written entirely in second person. It's an artistic choice and weird as hell. But. . . it works. Also it's a sequel, so you can't jump right into it. The first book in the trilogy is written normal.
  4. TheTrinary

    Writing Prompt Write in 2nd Point of View

    Ever read Harrow the Ninth?
  5. TheTrinary

    What is wrong with this snek?

    That's a dope cover
  6. TheTrinary


    Yea medium does not equal genre.
  7. TheTrinary

    Breastfeeding Song Suggestions

    Play it songs in a language it doesn't know. Keep doing it. See if your baby becomes bilingual just from breastfeeding music. Report the results for science.
  8. TheTrinary


    May we suggest genres to be added to the list?
  9. TheTrinary

    Free First Chapter Feedback

    Yea, I watched like half an episode just to see after reading it and it was kind of awful. Wouldn't recommend it. But to be fair, lot people die in the original.
  10. TheTrinary

    Ban the person above you!

    Banned for spelling phoenix like a Frenchie.
  11. TheTrinary

    Sell Me Your Story in 3 Sentences or Less

    Got a bunch of Cormac McCarthy's around here.
  12. TheTrinary

    Sell Me Your Story in 3 Sentences or Less

    Title: Syche, The Dark Element. (1) Normal guy tries to be the chosen one. (2) Never gets to control the elements. (3) Probably makes things worse.
  13. TheTrinary

    Writing Ideas for cool superpowers?

    It would be a fun idea to explore then. It'd be the point in the story where the MC has figure out how to use their powers. They have to let a friend in on it and have them watch through a camera to see if it works. If you went down the path where a camera still makes you invisible, there's a...
  14. TheTrinary

    Free First Chapter Feedback

    Yea I kind of got that he was from a different world based on the description, but he mentions there being elves in his world. As long as it's not Earth -> fantasy world, that's a pretty good idea. Italics are a great way to deal with thoughts. Not the only way, but for the love of God don't...
  15. TheTrinary

    Writing Ideas for cool superpowers?

    That would be sooooooo risky. If someone was on the other end of the camera looking (like all those tv shows with guard stations and the one guy watching 20 monitors), then you wouldn't be invisible. Walking in front of a camera would be a massive risk.
  16. TheTrinary

    Free First Chapter Feedback

    I think you are the first person to use first person perspective appropriately since I started this thread (at least for a long time), so thank you for that. Buy while we're on style, your choice to use n-dashes instead of quotation marks to denote speech was really really jarring, and I've...
  17. TheTrinary

    Minacia's First Chapter Feedback

    Hello again. Double dips allowed? I'm working through my first chapter on a second work I started and I'm not sure it works like I want it to. Could you let me know what you think? (Second picture below)
  18. TheTrinary

    Humanity's Last Hope

    I just read chapter 1. I have a pretty big problem with the way its presented. You just tell us everything. I hate to point out the old rule: "show don't tell," but it's really really important for you. Your first chapter feels like the title crawl to Star Wars for half of it. You lay out...
  19. TheTrinary

    The grand author mashup

    "Hasn't developed any powers yet". That's the point. He never will. While I wasn't seriously considering submitting him, that's sort of the fun of it. Writing someone with knowledge but no outward capabilities. He's gotta win his fights by being clever and knowing other people's weaknesses (See...