Add diegetic sound to a scene.

[ElijahRyne]

I feel like people forget that you can add diegetic sound to writing. Personally I feel like it can both sell the and set the mood of a scene. For this you can come up with your own passage, use something you have written before, or something.

 

[StrongArm]

i can understand adding that to a movie, but how do you add that to a novel?

 

[ElijahRyne]

i can understand adding that to a movie, but how do you add that to a novel?

Here is a passage of something I have written.

The woman continued her flight. She dodged running through a park by using nearby houses to obscure her chaser’s vision and then changing directions. The pursuer, was slowly, meter by meter, closing in on her.

*tatata*

They got closer and closer until, while on a highway, her pursuer caught her. They grabbed her arm, while her face contorted in a mix of surprise and fear. She pulled and twisted her arm as she struggled to break away from the pursuer's grasp. She tried to kick them and run away, yet she couldn’t get away. Her hopes met with stiff resistance. The purser sneered.

"Finally, no mo———

*Hoooooonk*"

A horn sounded as two large headlights quickly crested a hill 10 meters away from the woman and her captor. The two didn’t even manage to turn around before a semi-truck hit the two while the owner frantically slammed the breaks while trying to swerve.

*CracleSnapPoof*

 

[NotaNuffian]

Here is a passage of something I have written.

The woman continued her flight. She dodged running through a park by using nearby houses to obscure her chaser’s vision and then changing directions. The pursuer, was slowly, meter by meter, closing in on her.

*tatata*

They got closer and closer until, while on a highway, her pursuer caught her. They grabbed her arm, while her face contorted in a mix of surprise and fear. She pulled and twisted her arm as she struggled to break away from the pursuer's grasp. She tried to kick them and run away, yet she couldn’t get away. Her hopes met with stiff resistance. The purser sneered.

"Finally, no mo———

*Hoooooonk*"

A horn sounded as two large headlights quickly crested a hill 10 meters away from the woman and her captor. The two didn’t even manage to turn around before a semi-truck hit the two while the owner frantically slammed the breaks while trying to swerve.

*CracleSnapPoof*

...

I'll be honest, you adding sound effect like that feels more looney toony than achieveing whatever that you tried to achieve.

 

[ElijahRyne]

...

I'll be honest, you adding sound effect like that feels more looney toony than achieveing whatever that you tried to achieve.

That is the point of this story, the blood spatter comes to life in the next scene…

 

[K5Rakitan]

Joan strained to hear the announcer's garbled words over the clatter of the moving train.

i can understand adding that to a movie, but how do you add that to a novel?

Carefully

 

[StrongArm]

okay, so they are like Onomatopoeia sounds.

a good way to use it would be like:

-Running down the street, my skinny ass had to stop & bend over, hand on a wall for support

*Huff* *Huff*

"Fuck, im is outta shape!"

 

[ElijahRyne]

okay, so they are like Onomatopoeia sounds.

a good way to use it would be like:

-Running down the street, my skinny ass had to stop & bend over, hand on a wall for support

*Huff* *Huff*

"Fuck, im is outta shape!"

Yep

 

[Sebas_Guzman]

Some don't forget. Some don't do this because of the weird trouble it causes for audio book narrators.
A narrator having to go *hoooooonk* just doesn't feel good and the narrator might mention it, depending on certain factors.
The alternative of "A car honked" is preferred in this case.

Different approaches for different mediums is what it all comes down to.

 

[K5Rakitan]

okay, so they are like Onomatopoeia sounds.

I mean . . . not necessarily . . .

 

[Ilikewaterkusa]

I feel like people forget that you can add diegetic sound to writing. Personally I feel like it can both sell the and set the mood of a scene. For this you can come up with your own passage, use something you have written before, or something.

What?

 

[Cipiteca396]

An onomatopoeia can be a diegetic sound, but it's a pretty bad example of one in my opinion. Adding diegetic sounds to a story would be more like 'bird song echoed from out of the forest, and water babbled along merrily in the nearby brook'.

 

[LilRora]

Here is a passage of something I have written.

The woman continued her flight. She dodged running through a park by using nearby houses to obscure her chaser’s vision and then changing directions. The pursuer, was slowly, meter by meter, closing in on her.

*tatata*

They got closer and closer until, while on a highway, her pursuer caught her. They grabbed her arm, while her face contorted in a mix of surprise and fear. She pulled and twisted her arm as she struggled to break away from the pursuer's grasp. She tried to kick them and run away, yet she couldn’t get away. Her hopes met with stiff resistance. The purser sneered.

"Finally, no mo———

*Hoooooonk*"

A horn sounded as two large headlights quickly crested a hill 10 meters away from the woman and her captor. The two didn’t even manage to turn around before a semi-truck hit the two while the owner frantically slammed the breaks while trying to swerve.

*CracleSnapPoof*

The problem with this is that readers have no idea what sound you are referring to. When I read "tatata", I'm thinking of a machine gun, or quick footsteps, but it can very well be something completely different.

I need to read what comes after the sound, analyze it, then come back to the sound to place it correctly in the situation and play it in my mind when I know it matches. There will surely be people who like it, but I personally see it as a sign of an inexperienced writer. If it's done purposefully by an experienced author, it's another matter, but there are problems that won't just disappear because you know how to use those sounds.

 

[CupcakeNinja]

i

Here is a passage of something I have written.

The woman continued her flight. She dodged running through a park by using nearby houses to obscure her chaser’s vision and then changing directions. The pursuer, was slowly, meter by meter, closing in on her.

*tatata*

They got closer and closer until, while on a highway, her pursuer caught her. They grabbed her arm, while her face contorted in a mix of surprise and fear. She pulled and twisted her arm as she struggled to break away from the pursuer's grasp. She tried to kick them and run away, yet she couldn’t get away. Her hopes met with stiff resistance. The purser sneered.

"Finally, no mo———

*Hoooooonk*"

A horn sounded as two large headlights quickly crested a hill 10 meters away from the woman and her captor. The two didn’t even manage to turn around before a semi-truck hit the two while the owner frantically slammed the breaks while trying to swerve.

*CracleSnapPoof*

i've always hated sound effects like these in stories. Always breaks my immersion. I can imagine all these sounds perfectly well without them

The problem with this is that readers have no idea what sound you are referring to. When I read "tatata", I'm thinking of a machine gun, or quick footsteps, but it can very well be something completely different.

I need to read what comes after the sound, analyze it, then come back to the sound to place it correctly in the situation and play it in my mind when I know it matches. There will surely be people who like it, but I personally see it as a sign of an inexperienced writer. If it's done purposefully by an experienced author, it's another matter, but there are problems that won't just disappear because you know how to use those sounds.

yeah i almost never see sounds like these done in, say, western novels. Like, it happens but even when it does happen they use very specific and well-known sound effects. Usually, they just use descriptive words and that helps me imagine the sound much easier.

 

[J_Chemist]

I'm reading a novel. Not a comic book.

 

[Carefully]

Carefully

 

[Prince_Azmiran_Myrian]

I think its better to try engaging all five senses. (Not necessarily all at once) At least try to hit all of them within a chapter.