As the snow fell, swirling around in the sharp and frigid air, I saw…
Jess...
She was standing there in those cute briefs & sports bra she always wore. Barefoot and half-naked, as if she wasnt even affected by the cold.
Her lips were blue, and her skin was pale as the moonlight.
I couldnt believe my eyes, it was her, REALLY her.
"JESS!?" I call out in joy and disbelief.
She just stands there, staring. She must be so cold...
Hurriedly, I step towards her. It's freezing out here, she needs to get in the house!
But before I can take three steps, she turns on her heel and runs into the snow-storm.
'NO! I can't lose her Again!!'
I sprint after her through the howling winds, my heavy boots crunching through the snow.
'Where is she going?' i breath in the painful sharp air into my lungs, and chase after her into the forest.
"JESS! WHERE ARE YOU GOING! YOULL FREEZE TO DEATH IN THIS STORM - COME BACK!!!" I hollar after her.
She just continues running through the trees, oblivious to my voice.
She was so fast... She ran through the snow as quick as the wind.
She was getting farther & farther away. 'NO!!!' I will NOT let this happen!'
Putting all my energy into my legs, I chase and chase. I don't know for how long.
It doesnt do me any good, I lose sight of her as she runs headlong into the blizzard.
"JESS!!!"
I call over and over again.
Nothing. No response.
Was she ever truly there? Did I just imagine everything?
"NO!" I shout at myself as much as the situation. 'she was here! I just need to keep looking!'
On and on I search, looking for tracks, a sign, ANYTHING.
Still, I find no trace. It's getting dark now, but I don't want to leave. 'Jess is out here somewhere and I cant let her freeze to death!'
"Jessica! I'm sorry baby! I-If you can hear me t-t-Then c-Come Home!" I call out through chattering teeth.
I wipe away frozen tears from my red, wind-chapped face.
It's dark, all I can see are the barren black trees and the swirling snow.
It's over, she's gone. Again.
I'm so tired... So cold... I just need to sit down for a minute...
As I sit with my back to a pine tree with the cold wind howling in my ears, my mind takes me to a happier - warmer time: Jess and I, cooking in our cheap trailer. We were poor, but it didn't matter. We made it work. We danced in the kitchen to 'Old Timey' music and laughed. When I held her close, she would gaze up at my face with the most loving big green eyes...
Something draws me from my reverie, and I look up.
And there she is, standing in front of me.
" !!! " Rushing forward, almost falling on my face into the snow, I wrap my arms around her waist, terrified she might run again. Her skin is Ice cold.
Hurriedly, I tear my coat off and wrap it around her.
"Jess! I cant believe its you!" I cry into her waist "I missed you so much! I never thought I would see you again after you... after you..."
Suddenly, I tear my blubbering face away from her belly, to look up into her eyes staring silently down on me.
"Jess! You know I d-didnt mean it! i - I just got so angry! I never meant to hurt you! Before I knew what i was doing i-it was too late! I'm sorry!" I blubber " I'm so goddamn sorry jess..."
I just kneel there and bawl like a baby, hugging her and repeating "imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry-
I am interrupted, as she takes my head in her hands and smiles down at me.
'Is this happening? Is she truly not angry?'
Before I can even ask, she takes a finger and presses it to my lips.
"shhhhh" she makes a gentle shushing noise and gives a slight smile.
Ever so gently, she draws me down to the ground and wraps me in a tender embrace.
Looking into her Ice blue eyes, I see no resentment - only the love and tenderness she always had shown me.
Wrapped around each other, the rest of the world disappears and the only thing i can feel is...
Warmth