Casual reader feedback

[BernKatstel]

I should be working right about now, but my intrusive thoughts won. If anyone wants some free story feedback from the POV of a casual reader, post it, and I’ll get to it whenever I can. I plan to read a couple chapters before giving my thoughts on any of them (something like five or more). If you want my critique to be private, I can send it in PM’s as well.

Rules: No rules. They suck and I will read whatever you bother to link.

Note: if you haven’t logged in for longer than a week, I will push your review to the back of the queue

-Sleep deprived cat ‍

 

[fluffypie374]

Well, well, well... be sleep deprived for eternity, roast my novel if you will: Here you go

 

[quagma]

thoughts much appreciated. only a few chapters so far, and a new one every week: here it is

 

[AdOtherwise]

I should be working right about now, but my intrusive thoughts won. If anyone wants some free story feedback from the POV of a casual reader, post it, and I’ll get to it whenever I can. I plan to read a couple chapters before giving my thoughts on any of them (something like three or five). If you want my critique to be private, I can send it in PM’s as well.

Rules: No rules. They suck and I will read whatever you bother to link.

-Sleep deprived cat ‍

Lowly Ascent

Within a desolate realm, where discarded worlds were stitched together, a rupture tore open, releasing a small child into the fragmented expanse. Above him, the sky revealed three eerie moons, while an ominous black mass loomed ominously in their wake. Disoriented and engulfed by a putrid...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Beta_Krogoth]

My friend, you are going to be swarmed. Bless your heart.

I'll drop Sweet Venom in, should be easy to warm up to.

Sweet Venom – Rebroken

Arc 1 & 2 - A small Nomad colony reports that thousands of people missing and no one dares to look into it, Diego Harley decides to investigate and becomes the fascination of dark, dangerous creatures that begin to obsess over him, putting everyone around him in danger as they try to claim...

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[Dhael_Ligerkeys]

You're a brave little cat.

Here's mine, only 7 chapter out right now.

The Weaver – A Dark LitRPG Fantasy

Peter is a broken and bitter man with nothing left to live for. The loss of his best friend, his loyal dog Zeus, threatens to drive him over the edge. However, as events take an unexpected turn and bizarre circumstances surround him, he refuses to die. Despair, struggle, and mystery....

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[BernKatstel]

Well, well, well... be sleep deprived for eternity, roast my novel if you will: Here you go

I read till chapter 16. Honestly, the beginning is better than most of the cultivation novels I have seen so far.

This is the score I decided on:
Overall: Enjoyable.

Grammar: 5/5
I gave it a 5 since the mistakes I noticed weren’t anything to complain about. You have a good grasp of the language or the proofreading helped a ton. Anything I can understand and picture without rereading would probably get a five.

Style: 4/5
This is where I think you stumble a little. Paragraph and sentence structure seemed fine. There was quite a bit of repetition in your first few chapters, though I noticed it less and less after chapter six or so. Apart from that, I personally dislike the prologue. I did not enjoy being told how things went down. It personally felt like I was reading a long blurb after already opening the book.

Story: 3/5
Not much to say here. It’s pretty average so far, but I like the mystery you have going on. Whether this is good or bad, I couldn’t say. There isn’t really anything to get hooked on— but I am not bored out of my mind either.

Characters: 3.5/5
I added a .5 here cause of Weiwei. Characters so far are bland. The protagonist seems like a less sociopathic Leylin Farlier or a meaner version of Meng Hao. I am sure they will get better, but your writing doesn’t let a lot of their personality shine through in the short-run. Weiwei isn’t very different but I just like her .

I will add this to my ‘Keep an eye on’ list. Good job and I hope you keep working on it.

thoughts much appreciated. only a few chapters so far, and a new one every week: here it is

I read all available chapters.

This is the score I decided on:
Overall: Enjoyable.

Grammar: 5/5
There were some very minor mistakes I think I noticed, but as previously stated, as long as they don’t interrupt my reading they do not matter. Your grammar seems to be on point! Imagining wasn‘t hard.

Style: 4.5/5
I like the way you write in general. I thought you overused italics just a tad, however. Descriptions were vivid and easy to understand. Paragraph and sentence structure are both easy on the eyes.

Story: 3/5
Not much to prattle on about as there are only three chapters available. It is a cliche start for this type of story: memory loss, transported somewhere you don’t know about, etc. That obviously doesn’t mean it’s bad! There just isn’t much to say due to the lack of content.

Characters: 4/5
Your writing lets a lot of personality shine through with thoughts and dialogue, which makes it easy to know if your characters are something one will enjoy or not. I can’t say too much about it as it is right now, since I would have liked to see Nebula in more situations to judge her. At the current point in the story, she reminds me of a food obsessed, somewhat smarter Kumoko.

It is a well-written beginning! I will keep an eye on its development, even if the MC’s personality so far isn’t something I like.

 

[3kockeleda]

I'd love some thoughts if its okay with you?

The Crystal – A Cyberpunk Mystery

In the neon-soaked, rain-drenched streets of Novus Aether, a city of splendor shadowing a world of despair, a former guardian finds himself summoned to the enigmatic Crystals. An invitation, simple yet profound, propels him into the heart of the metropolis's glittering dangers and whispered...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[BernKatstel]

Lowly Ascent

Within a desolate realm, where discarded worlds were stitched together, a rupture tore open, releasing a small child into the fragmented expanse. Above him, the sky revealed three eerie moons, while an ominous black mass loomed ominously in their wake. Disoriented and engulfed by a putrid...

www.scribblehub.com

I read till chapter 14.

This is the score I decided on:
Overall: Alright.

Grammar: 4/5
Incorrect/missing punctuation, missing words. Happened a few times and was somewhat noticeable. Not too bad, but it was distracting.

Style: 3/5
I do not like the way you write. Doesn’t mean it is wrong, just not for me. I think a new paragraph is usually used when another character performs an action. Apart from that, sentence structure felt a bit weird and there was some amount of repetition.

Story: 4/5
Tropey memory loss start with transportation to another place. Still, I love the power system, as someone who has a background in medicine and is still very much interested in it. You managed to pique my interest in the world based off of that and i’d like to know more about it.
(I would have waited longer before revealing anything of the world outside the landfill).

Characters: 3.5/5
Nothing too exciting. He seems to be growing into being a ruthless MC with the power to protect his loved ones at the current chapter I am in. Other characters are fine and will probably be developed further in later chapters. Not a lot of personality shown, but I can’t complain much about what I have witnessed so far.

It was a nice read. I’ll think about continuing if I have the time! You have a bunch of chapters after all.

 

[Mikan_Citrus]

Hello! I am new to Scribble Hub and would like to receive constructive feedback on the chapters that I have posted here so far. Please let me know what you think, and I look forward to getting along with the community.

Arisaka: Celestial Violet (Action Packed Urban Fantasy!)

The Republic of Arisaka stands tall as the most powerful nation in the entire world. However, even this almighty superpower state of extraordinary metahumans and mages have struggled with an ancient conflict, one that has raged on for millennia—the war between humans, demons, and all sorts of...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Sylver]

Hello! I am new to Scribble Hub and would like to receive constructive feedback on the chapters that I have posted here so far. Please let me know what you think, and I look forward to getting along with the community.

Arisaka: Celestial Violet (Action Packed Urban Fantasy!)

The Republic of Arisaka stands tall as the most powerful nation in the entire world. However, even this almighty superpower state of extraordinary metahumans and mages have struggled with an ancient conflict, one that has raged on for millennia—the war between humans, demons, and all sorts of...

www.scribblehub.com

Oh hey, you're the user who couldn't post your story on RR because of the cover art, right? How did that go, still dealing with RR or did they let you submit your story?

I should be working right about now, but my intrusive thoughts won. If anyone wants some free story feedback from the POV of a casual reader, post it, and I’ll get to it whenever I can. I plan to read a couple chapters before giving my thoughts on any of them (something like five or more). If you want my critique to be private, I can send it in PM’s as well.

Rules: No rules. They suck and I will read whatever you bother to link.

-Sleep deprived cat ‍

Neat, I could always use more feedback! Slight warning though, a lot of smut in the early chapters. I'd appreciate if you read up to chapter 15.

Enjoy!

Monster Girl Chronicles Book 1: KuliKuli the Nekomata - A Tale of Tails Begins! | Scribble Hub

www.scribblehub.com

 

[HelloHound]

For Want of A House

Waking up is always a difficult part of anyone's day- it's even worse if you wake up inside some squalid room to spit out mysterious black cubes in a land you are not familiar with. Now imagine what Sybil's going through. Watch this short and tempered child grow, seeking a...

www.scribblehub.com

I took a break from writing to have dinner and saw this, decided to toss my hat in the ring

 

[BernKatstel]

My friend, you are going to be swarmed. Bless your heart.

I'll drop Sweet Venom in, should be easy to warm up to.

Sweet Venom – Rebroken

Arc 1 & 2 - A small Nomad colony reports that thousands of people missing and no one dares to look into it, Diego Harley decides to investigate and becomes the fascination of dark, dangerous creatures that begin to obsess over him, putting everyone around him in danger as they try to claim...

www.scribblehub.com

I read till chapter 5 since your word count per chap is around 5,000.

This is the score I decided on:
Overall: Wow

Grammar: 5/5
Negligible mistakes such as a missing word amongst a couple thousands. Great grasp of english.

Style: 4.5/5
This was a little difficult to judge. I hate the spacing between paragraphs, especially in the introduction. I think you could have broken some of them as well to not have such huge chunks of words. Other than that, I thought it was great! Prose flowed well and I couldn’t spot any repetition or overuse of words. I would have given it a five were it not for what I mentioned.

Story: 4/5
I did not expect to be hooked by the story, but it got me. The very beginning was intriguing and certainly different from the material I usually binge. The mystery was presented well and I am curious to know more about the MC and the actions of his thick wardens. The fact that I chuckled at Oxyi screaming about an erection makes me wanna scratch myself to little pieces, though.

Characters: 4.5/5
Easy to understand. Your writing helps their personality be shown rather clearly. Diego’s a cool guy, if a little weird for being so accepting of his new circumstances (probably explained in a later chapter? Or I missed it?). Other characters managed to be recognizable and enjoyable despite the little content I have gone through.

I do not read smut, much less when it isn’t human, but I’ll be giving this one a try! My compliments to the chef.

 

[fluffypie374]

I read till chapter 16. Honestly, the beginning is better than most of the cultivation novels I have seen so far.

This is the score I decided on:
Overall: Enjoyable.

Grammar: 5/5
I gave it a 5 since the mistakes I noticed weren’t anything to complain about. You have a good grasp of the language or the proofreading helped a ton. Anything I can understand and picture without rereading would probably get a five.

Style: 4/5
This is where I think you stumble a little. Paragraph and sentence structure seemed fine. There was quite a bit of repetition in your first few chapters, though I noticed it less and less after chapter six or so. Apart from that, I personally dislike the prologue. I did not enjoy being told how things went down. It personally felt like I was reading a long blurb after already opening the book.

Story: 3/5
Not much to say here. It’s pretty average so far, but I like the mystery you have going on. Whether this is good or bad, I couldn’t say. There isn’t really anything to get hooked on— but I am not bored out of my mind either.

Characters: 3.5/5
I added a .5 here cause of Weiwei. Characters so far are bland. The protagonist seems like a less sociopathic Leylin Farlier or a meaner version of Meng Hao. I am sure they will get better, but your writing doesn’t let a lot of their personality shine through in the short-run. Weiwei isn’t very different but I just like her .

I will add this to my ‘Keep an eye on’ list. Good job and I hope you keep working on it.

I read all available chapters.

This is the score I decided on:
Overall: Enjoyable.

Grammar: 5/5
There were some very minor mistakes I think I noticed, but as previously stated, as long as they don’t interrupt my reading they do not matter. Your grammar seems to be on point! Imagining wasn‘t hard.

Style: 4.5/5
I like the way you write in general. I thought you overused italics just a tad, however. Descriptions were vivid and easy to understand. Paragraph and sentence structure are both easy on the eyes.

Story: 3/5
Not much to prattle on about as there are only three chapters available. It is a cliche start for this type of story: memory loss, transported somewhere you don’t know about, etc. That obviously doesn’t mean it’s bad! There just isn’t much to say due to the lack of content.

Characters: 4/5
Your writing lets a lot of personality shine through with thoughts and dialogue, which makes it easy to know if your characters are something one will enjoy or not. I can’t say too much about it as it is right now, since I would have liked to see Nebula in more situations to judge her. At the current point in the story, she reminds me of a food obsessed, somewhat smarter Kumoko.

It is a well-written beginning! I will keep an eye on its development, even if the MC’s personality so far isn’t something I like.

Thanks for the sacrificing your sleep to trudge through my story thus far. The prologue... probably felt like something that could be omitted. Sorry, bout that But I'm surprised you found WeiWei likeable... for now Now I know to make characters more fleshed out

 

[BernKatstel]

Thanks for the sacrificing your sleep to trudge through my story thus far. The prologue... probably felt like something that could be omitted. Sorry, bout that But I'm surprised you found WeiWei likeable... for now Now I know to make characters more fleshed out

No, no. It was a nice way to sacrifice sleep. Good luck with your writing.

 

[Beta_Krogoth]

I read till chapter 5 since your word count per chap is around 5,000.

This is the score I decided on:
Overall: Wow

Grammar: 5/5
Negligible mistakes such as a missing word amongst a couple thousands. Great grasp of english.

Style: 4.5/5
This was a little difficult to judge. I hate the spacing between paragraphs, especially in the introduction. I think you could have broken some of them as well to not have such huge chunks of words. Other than that, I thought it was great! Prose flowed well and I couldn’t spot any repetition or overuse of words. I would have given it a five were it not for what I mentioned.

Story: 4/5
I did not expect to be hooked by the story, but it got me. The very beginning was intriguing and certainly different from the material I usually binge. The mystery was presented well and I am curious to know more about the MC and the actions of his thick wardens. The fact that I chuckled at Oxyi screaming about an erection makes me wanna scratch myself to little pieces, though.

Characters: 4.5/5
Easy to understand. Your writing helps their personality be shown rather clearly. Diego’s a cool guy, if a little weird for being so accepting of his new circumstances (probably explained in a later chapter? Or I missed it?). Other characters managed to be recognizable and enjoyable despite the little content I have gone through.

I do not read smut, much less when it isn’t human, but I’ll be giving this one a try! My compliments to the chef.

Eyyy, glad you enjoyed it! I think the second half of arc one really picks up some pace and puts Diego through his paces but I won't spoil it!

Diego does have good reason to be so chill but again, spoilers and whatnot. Its not really revealed in arc one though but you might be able to clue together bits of why he is like he is. Everyone laughs at the Oxyi erection bit, so don't be too harsh on yourself!

 

[BernKatstel]

Eyyy, glad you enjoyed it! I think the second half of arc one really picks up some pace and puts Diego through his paces but I won't spoil it!

Diego does have good reason to be so chill but again, spoilers and whatnot. Its not really revealed in arc one though but you might be able to clue together bits of why he is like he is. Everyone laughs at the Oxyi erection bit, so don't be too harsh on yourself!

Sure, looking forward to finding out more.

 

[AdOtherwise]

I read till chapter 14.

This is the score I decided on:
Overall: Alright.

Grammar: 4/5
Incorrect/missing punctuation, missing words. Happened a few times and was somewhat noticeable. Not too bad, but it was distracting.

Style: 3/5
I do not like the way you write. Doesn’t mean it is wrong, just not for me. I think a new paragraph is usually used when another character performs an action. Apart from that, sentence structure felt a bit weird and there was some amount of repetition.

Story: 4/5
Tropey memory loss start with transportation to another place. Still, I love the power system, as someone who has a background in medicine and is still very much interested in it. You managed to pique my interest in the world based off of that and i’d like to know more about it.
(I would have waited longer before revealing anything of the world outside the landfill).

Characters: 3.5/5
Nothing too exciting. He seems to be growing into being a ruthless MC with the power to protect his loved ones at the current chapter I am in. Other characters are fine and will probably be developed further in later chapters. Not a lot of personality shown, but I can’t complain much about what I have witnessed so far.

It was a nice read. I’ll think about continuing if I have the time! You have a bunch of chapters after all.

Thank you for the review. You are indeed right about the sentence structure, I've been told that a bunch of times but I still don't know how it's weird so I would love some details. Repetition is also something I find myself doing quite often, I'm always forgetting words.

If there's anything that jumped out, I would love if you could point it out.

Again, thank you and I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

 

[BernKatstel]

Thank you for the review. You are indeed right about the sentence structure, I've been told that a bunch of times but I still don't know how it's weird so I would love some details. Repetition is also something I find myself doing quite often, I'm always forgetting words.

If there's anything that jumped out, I would love if you could point it out.

Again, thank you and I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

Sure. I’ll try looking at it again after a few more reviews and let you know

 

[ElijahRyne]

I should be working right about now, but my intrusive thoughts won. If anyone wants some free story feedback from the POV of a casual reader, post it, and I’ll get to it whenever I can. I plan to read a couple chapters before giving my thoughts on any of them (something like five or more). If you want my critique to be private, I can send it in PM’s as well.

Rules: No rules. They suck and I will read whatever you bother to link.

-Sleep deprived cat ‍

Could you do this?

The Thread Tree (Interactive Story)

An archive of the events surrounding the before, during, and after of the Thread Tree incident of 1547. You are part of the Detective department. You are looking into the Thread Tree incident of 1547. You can send memos to the archive department, the exorcist department, the monastic...

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