Changing your username on SHF is actually very easy. Just follow these simple steps. All you need to do first, is purchase a computer with sufficient technical prowess and an OS not lower than Windows 7. What I would recommend is an Intel Pentium for a motherboard, which is more than enough to run Google Chrome, or Opera, or an internet browser of your choice. For the RAM, you'd be better off with at least 2 GBs worth of power. That would ensure your PC or CPU to run without burning out at the first few hours. For that, you're basically done with step one.
Step two is to ensure your nutritional intake so that you can be at a mentally stable state for you to undertake such a task. Remember to eat your vegetables, preferably steamed. Meat is also important in a human's diet, unless you are of a different species, then it is best for you to follow what your mother told you to eat as a child or just undergo a healthy diet suitable for your species.
Step three is to find tools navigate the computer. I'm using a roll-ball as a mouse and a baseball bat with a child's playmat with letters and punctuations programmed to input as a keyboard but the best option is to go for an actual keyboard and a mouse. IBM keyboards are sufficient and can be found in most yard sales. For the mouse, you have to place a mouse-trap in a garbage pail at the back of a Chinese Restaurant. After that, use the captured mouse and beat up the nearest person you could fine, preferably with a wallet in his or her hand. Take the money from their wallet and purchase a mouse from a pet store. Repeat the process until you obtained five dead mice. Then take those five dead mice and head on to your nearest IT store, then beat up the cashier with the same mice and at the same time, grab the nearest mouse you can find. Remember to consume the used mice as they have good protein and nutritional value. Worry not of salmonella, it won't be there fast enough to hinder your name changing process.
Step four is buy a monitor, but before that you have to buy the wires. After buying the wires, head on down to a public space, preferably one with a roof. Then, hang yourself. The public will most likely have called the hospital and sent you to the ambulance. Before they send you to the hospital, ambush the ambulance and you have found yourself a heist vehicle to rob the nearest bank. Grab three friends, preferably with history and experience with bank heists and plan one at the nearest gold depository. Then, at the strike of midnight on the third full moon, execute the plan. As every depository are laced with high-tech security, you can be sure to find a working monitor in their security rooms. As your heist mates steal the gold, take the monitor with you. This step is really tricky, as it requires you not to land in jail and receive a death sentence.
Step five is to have a power supply that is powerful enough to power up a computer. The best way is to connect to a plug or use ten powerbanks. But the best way to do so is from a generator. As we all know, generators need fuel. So first up, you need to invest in stock markets. Use a good sum of three-digits and go for the container yards, the trade businesses will always be ahead, especially during holiday seasons like now. If not, go for China companies, especially Huawei, as every is buying their phones. Remember to check so that when it falls, you can pull out ASAP. Then, using the money you acquired, purchase an oil tanker and plan another heist; this time to siphon fuel off from the nearest gas station. Remember not to get caught, as this is crucial to the plan. Then, using the same oil tanker, do a drive-by shooting at your local DIY store and raid the place. Obtain a generator and viola, you have your own power supply.
Step six is to buy a chair. Don't bother. Stand. You're a man. Sitting is for sissies.
Step seven is to log into
the ScribbleHub Forum with your own account. Slide your mouse gently with your toes towards the upper left corner where your profile picture and your current username. Click on it and you will see that there are no options to change your username. Don't worry about that though. Step seven requires you to own an Ouija board. If you have it, you can continue with this simple step. Put your hand on the circle thing with the hole in the middle and trace it on the board. Chant
T̵̙̰̞̀̉͐õ̴̜͔̹̍̅n̷̬̮͙̈̅̚ÿ̵̢̘̳́̅̓T̵̙̰̞̀̉͐õ̴̜͔̹̍̅n̷̬̮͙̈̅̚ÿ̵̢̘̳́̅̓T̵̙̰̞̀̉͐õ̴̜͔̹̍̅n̷̬̮͙̈̅̚ÿ̵̢̘̳́̅̓ at least three time and a figure will show up. Don't panic; it will scare
ĥ̶̗͕̭̓̕i̶̯̭̼̊̀̔m̶̢̜͕̏̃̊ away. Have a bowl of spaghetti ready on your side and start gauging on the bowl. Eat the bowl along with it. If you are still alive by the time the ritual ends, your username would probably be changed. Probably.
T̶̝͕͚̓̃͝o̸̧̜͈͛́̚n̴̪̮̗̓͊̋ÿ̶̰͉̤́̏͘ is still there. Might wanna do something about it.
Or you could
