Could you be satisfied with a non-conventional relationship?

ohko

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:blob_nom: I really like stories with non-conventional relationships.

What is a non-conventional relationship?
  • Polyamory
  • A couple that lives together but won't get married
  • Friends that like each other but will never admit that they're dating
  • Sexless marriage
  • Friends with benefits
  • Polygamy / Royal Harem
  • Fake marriage / relationship
  • Married couple that never lives together
  • Many more examples

What are your favorite non-conventional relationships?

And are there any that you could tolerate? Are there any that you hate?
 

ohko

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Sounds like it could be a good formula for a teenage romcom.
Some of these are definitely real on the older spectrum (like 20's - 30's). I've met a couple once that is sort of like that... in the sense that they're obviously a couple but they aren't calling themselves that (for whatever reason).

Actually I was looking at a blog post online about odd non-conventional relationships that the Millennial generation has become familiar with:

2. The “we love each other but neither of us will admit it" relationship
You two lovebirds are perfect for each other. You're so similar that any dummy in the universe could tell you’re meant to be.

The problem? You’re so similar that both of you want to play it cool … and neither knows that the other is remotely interested.

3. The relationship that we aren't calling a relationship
You leave Thursdays free (date night, duh), and you honestly can’t remember the last night you fell asleep without being the little spoon.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to conclude that you're in what anyone else would call "a relationship." But you blissfully avoid the inevitable “What are we?” conversation.

4. The friends who hook up sometimes
You guys have been friends forever. You hang out at all the same places, and the two of you can talk about anything … except for the fact that, sometimes, you hook up.

Yes, you read that correctly. Despite your seemingly close friendship, you're so afraid of making things “weird” that you will NEVER address what happens after those tequila shots.

5. The strangers who hook up sometimes
To put it simply, you know nothing about this person. Her number is stored in your phone as “Hot Girl From Mickey’s,” and you haven’t bothered to change it because ... well, you don't know her name.

This lack of familiarity doesn’t stop you two from exchanging drunken texts in hopes of a late-night rendezvous.

In fact, sometimes you're bolder with the “Hot Girl From Mickey’s” than you would be with another romantic interest. You don’t have to be afraid of embarrassing yourself in front of a stranger.

6. The dating-app soulmates who refuse to meet IRL
You swiped right and haven’t looked back since. You guys seem to share the same quirky sense of humor, and this person actually managed to answer your FMK (Fuck, Marry, Kill) quizzes correctly.

Sometimes you find yourself getting (philosophically) deep with this person, filling him or her in on your rough day at work or problems with an ex.

Despite this crazy deep connection, it's unlikely that you'll meet in a coffee shop for fear that he or she won't live up to your now sky-high expectations. (And there's also the chance that he might be a sixty-year-old man catfishing you.)

7. The friends with benefits -- without benefits
While you may be boinking #1 on Friday night, this is the person you’re brunching with on Saturday morning.

This relationship has the benefits of a real relationship -- someone to take care of you when you’re sick, someone to tag to dinner with Mom and Dad -- minus the sex.

You are essentially each other’s significant others ... except for the fact that you have zero interest in making sweet, tender love once the sun goes down.

I'm also in a pretty weird relationship too >.<
 

Paril

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Some of these are definitely real on the older spectrum (like 20's - 30's). I've met a couple once that is sort of like that... in the sense that they're obviously a couple but they aren't calling themselves that (for whatever reason).

Actually I was looking at a blog post online about odd non-conventional relationships that the Millennial generation has become familiar with:



I'm also in a pretty weird relationship too >.<
Eh, that sounds so weird even if it's true. I've had too much fill of japanese novels that some awkward teenagers first comes to mind.

Does a one-sided relationship count? I would like to think they're my girlfriend, but seldom do we actually meet in person.
 

ohko

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Eh, that sounds so weird even if it's true. I've had too much fill of japanese novels that some awkward teenagers first comes to mind.

Does a one-sided relationship count? I would like to think they're my girlfriend, but seldom do we actually meet in person.
I think it counts! ...Well maybe. Depends on if you count it. xD

I've been in a weird situation before when I confessed to a guy (friend), and they were like "okay, but I don't feel the same way" -- yet still wanted to be friends, so we were stayed good friends for years even though he was perfectly aware of the fact that I liked him (and I had to figure out how to deal with my feelings). :sweating_profusely: Weirdness abound!
 

ohko

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i think the only real thing on that list i could be satisfied with is polygamy.
That's an unusual response! I feel like many people say that they hate the idea of polygamy. What are your thoughts on it?
 

CupcakeNinja

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:blob_nom: I really like stories with non-conventional relationships.

What is a non-conventional relationship?
  • Polyamory
  • A couple that lives together but won't get married
  • Friends that like each other but will never admit that they're dating
  • Sexless marriage
  • Friends with benefits
  • Polygamy / Royal Harem
  • Fake marriage / relationship
  • Married couple that never lives together
  • Many more examples

What are your favorite non-conventional relationships?

And are there any that you could tolerate? Are there any that you hate?
This question depends entirely on if "feelings" are involved.
 

Daitengu

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Before this whole marriage for love thing, it was mainly a business transaction. I heavily doubt I would fall in love, so I'd be game for "unconventional" marriage. Pay me to marry you for x amount of years so you can get citizenship? Sure, why not.
 

Sabruness

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That's an unusual response! I feel like many people say that they hate the idea of polygamy. What are your thoughts on it?
In my view, it's the one where the benefits are most and the cost is least. Then again, i'm a guy so many wives is one of those high dreams (even if it isnt realistic).
The other options either have a smaller gap between cost and benefit while others have the cost outweigh the benefit.
 

AliceShiki

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  • Polyamory
  • A couple that lives together but won't get married
  • Friends that like each other but will never admit that they're dating
  • Sexless marriage
  • Friends with benefits
  • Polygamy / Royal Harem
  • Fake marriage / relationship
  • Married couple that never lives together
Out of those...

Polyamory would be hard for me, but could be doable if my partner really wanted it... We'd need to talk about it.
I can fantasize about it totally fine and it can arouse me, but I can't imagine being fine with it IRL.

The couple that lives together, but won't get married wouldn't work for me. I want a proper family, including the marriage itself.

The friends that like each other, but will never admit is like... Totally mind blowing to me, I can't imagine ever going through that... If I'm in love, I confess~

Sexless marriage is like... Uhn... I dunno, I think my libido is somewhat low... Most of the time.
It goes up by a lot when I'm in a relationship though, and like... I get really lonely if we spend a few weeks without sex... I dunno, I don't think I'd deal with it well.
We'd need to talk about it, but it's not something I'd handle easily.

Friends with benefits is a big no to me. I can fantasize about it and it can arouse me, but I'd never get into it. I'd rather be alone or in a stable relationship instead.

Polygamy is... Not my ideal, but not something I'd be completely against. Would depend on my partner, if they reaaaaally felt it was necessary, we could talk about it and come to an agreement.
It'd be hard for me to deal with it though.

Fake Marriage is like... No. I have no reason to ever get into one, it's like... Just no.

And being a married couple that never lives together is like... No! >.<
I want to live together with my husband! I don't wanna live by myself and take care of my children alone! Why are we even married if you're never home!? >.<
I can understand business trips and stuff, but having a husband that is never home is a no to me.


Those non-conventional relationships aside... I have been in 2 Long Distance Relationships before. They're nice, but they can often feel very lonely. Often times I'd really really want to be near my significant other, but they're like... 12h in timezones away from me.
It's hard to handle them, but they definitely feel much much better than being alone~
 

Yorda

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More Unconventional Relationships
  • A couple that won't admit their mutual feelings of affection and instead pretend they hate each other. =O
  • A couple where somebody doesn't admit they are homosexual
 

Kldran

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I suppose I'm actually in a non-conventional relationship. We're not really together, but we are really close, and I did confess at one point. It's more like: There's a bunch of problems that are deal breakers, but if they weren't there, we'd probably be together. So there's some fun pretend play online sometimes when playing together.
 

Obscura_Luna

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Either Friends that like each other but will never admit that they're dating or Fake relationship online.
 

Epsil

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Online Relationships~ I've witnessed the horror itself.
 

DonutEatingDoggo

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I really like non conventional relationships like yandere X prey MC. I would never like yandere novels with MCs who are in a slightly stable relationship as I prefer things spicy like HMMMMM... MC being chased around a dark corridor till cornered then the yandere would tie him up and maybe even stab him in the back or stomach for good measure. I also have a thing for yanderes who drug mc to sleep. For some reason that just makes me squirm in ecstacy. How romantic!
 

Thor

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Out of those...

Polyamory would be hard for me, but could be doable if my partner really wanted it... We'd need to talk about it.
I can fantasize about it totally fine and it can arouse me, but I can't imagine being fine with it IRL.

Polygamy is... Not my ideal, but not something I'd be completely against. Would depend on my partner, if they reaaaaally felt it was necessary, we could talk about it and come to an agreement.
It'd be hard for me to deal with it though.

Its interesting to see that you could be convinced by your partner if he really wanted it. Are there conditions that have to be met to work for you or is it something like, not wanting to lose the relationship you have at the moment?

I talked with my girlfriend about those concepts because of some drama involving those concepts that happend in our circle of friends.. It would never work for her, if something like that would ever come up she would rather break-up than to live with it. Same is true for me, I would never want to share my girlfriend just because she wants to have a relationship with someone else at the same time. Sometimes I wonder about the people who promote those concepts and condemn monogamy as construct of the society if they ever consider feelings and emotions of everyone involved.

That said, sometimes she has the desire or expresses her wish to have sex with another women and Im not against it. The idea actually turns me on for whatever reason but until now she never acted on it. If it ever happens and it makes her happier then so be it. As long as its restricted to plain sex without strings attached.

Thread-related,

  • Polyamory
Nope, dont want it myself and wouldnt tolerate it if my partner wanted it. Compromises have their limits.
  • A couple that lives together but won't get married
I dont see a problem with that. Im in a relationship with my girlfrind for ~6 years and we live together for ~4 years.
  • Friends that like each other but will never admit that they're dating
Uhm, I dont get that one? If 2 people like each other and get into a relationship and like/love each other then they are dating are they not? Why wouldnt they admit it?
  • Sexless marriage
Wouldnt work for me. Sex is for me an important part and I could compromise for less sex if my partners libido is on the lower side of the spectrum. But absolutely sexless? Its a tough question and I wouldnt know what actually would happen if I were in that situation.
  • Friends with benefits
Never had a friend with benefits but I dont see a problem with it. If it works it works.
  • Polygamy / Royal Harem
Same as Polyamory
  • Fake marriage / relationship
If there were tangible benefits then I could consider it.
  • Married couple that never lives together
If I were married I would want to live together. Why even marry if you are living seperately all the time?
 

AliceShiki

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Its interesting to see that you could be convinced by your partner if he really wanted it. Are there conditions that have to be met to work for you or is it something like, not wanting to lose the relationship you have at the moment?
I've had very few relationships in my life, and all the times it ended were because my partner broke up with me while I was still very deep into the relationship and head over heels for them.

So... My experience with relationships and break ups is very limited in a way. I just can't imagine myself starting to date someone and ever wanting to break up with them... I don't fall in love easily, and it's even harder for me to fall out of love once I have already fallen into it... So if there was anything I could do to salvage an endangered relationship, I'd try it.

In essence, I wouldn't want to lose the relationship I have. The relationships I did have mattered far too much for me and I can't imagine any other meaning any less than them... So, between trying to change my mindset in order to accept that my partner is going out with someone else, or giving up on the relationship, I'd go for the former.

I'd probably burn with jealousy and would most likely not cope well with it at first, but... I'd rather try it than to give up on the relationship. Time can change people, if I give it enough time and try to accept it, maybe I will... It's worth a shot I'd say.

That's how I feel about it at least~
 

Thor

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I've had very few relationships in my life, and all the times it ended were because my partner broke up with me while I was still very deep into the relationship and head over heels for them.

So... My experience with relationships and break ups is very limited in a way. I just can't imagine myself starting to date someone and ever wanting to break up with them... I don't fall in love easily, and it's even harder for me to fall out of love once I have already fallen into it... So if there was anything I could do to salvage an endangered relationship, I'd try it.

In essence, I wouldn't want to lose the relationship I have. The relationships I did have mattered far too much for me and I can't imagine any other meaning any less than them... So, between trying to change my mindset in order to accept that my partner is going out with someone else, or giving up on the relationship, I'd go for the former.

I'd probably burn with jealousy and would most likely not cope well with it at first, but... I'd rather try it than to give up on the relationship. Time can change people, if I give it enough time and try to accept it, maybe I will... It's worth a shot I'd say.

That's how I feel about it at least~

Ok, I can comprehend the why. Break-ups are almost everytime very hurtful and I can see how you would want to try to avoid it especially if you were always on the receiving end of break-ups. Respect at how far you are willing to go to salvage your relationship even if I find the reason behind it not very healthy.

Im gonna share that drama that I experienced as an example for why I dont find it healthy. Not that every situation is the same. I also love to gossip.

Guy 1 and Girl 1 in a relationship for 2 years or something. I guess you could call it a open relationship? Well Guy 1 liked to have sex with anyone who was interested in him and was attractive in his eyes. Girl 1 was ok with it since it was just sex and she was head over heels for him so no harm done. Well one day he had sex with the best friend of Girl 1, lets call her Girl 2. Girl 2 was also in a relationship with Guy 2.

Girl 2 and Guy 2 were not in a open relationship so you could consider the encounter cheating on her part. The thing is that Girl 2 had a crush on Guy 1 for many years. So Girl 2 and Guy 1 came up with the idea to lead a 4 man relationship and somehow convinced Guy 2 because he found Girl 1 physically attractive and was all for the idea to have sex with his girlfriend and her. But Girl 1 was more or less pressured into the situation because she couldnt say no to him, loved him and wanted to stay with him and also because for the other 3 it was already a foregone conclusion.

Now they were in this weird 4 people relationship. But Guy 2 never got to have sex with Girl 1 because she didnt want to. No attraction and so on. Well now Guy 1 and Girl 2 had a great time but Guy 2 saw after some time no benefit in this whole thing and wanted to break up this 4ppl relationship. But Girl 2 didnt want to break it apart. Guy 2 then broke up with her and she wasnt that angry about it because she had already a crush on Guy 1 for so long. She got what she wanted.

Now it was a 3 people relationship between Guy 1 and Girl 1&2. That went on for sometime but Guy 1 started to put Girl 1 in second place. In everything that mattered to her, she was always second. She tried to cope with it for some time but she got hurt again and again. At some point she communicated her feelings about the whole situation and wanted to sort it out somehow but got told to simply live with it. Her best friend wasnt also too inclined to change the situation because she was quite happy about being put first.

At some point Girl 1 broke up with 'them'. She got really hurt by that. Not only she lost the love of her life at that point but also her best friend.
After the whole mess she lived with us for about a month and was a crying mess for the first week. Before we were privy to the inner workings of their relationship everything looked fine but one shouldnt judge a book by its cover I guess.

To summarize: In a poly-relationship everyone should be on the same page from the beginning and treated equally otherwise there waits only pain at the end.

Fun fact: Guy 1 cheated on Girl 2 after a few months. At that point it wasnt a open relationship and Girl 2 was only ok with her best friend being with them before. The first time she forgave him but not the second time so they broke up. Welp everyone was alone after that and some 'best' friends were lost.
 
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