I want a sword with a donut shaped handle that looks like donut with pink frosting and has sprinkles all over it.. And when you pull it out of the sword, it has those little metal sharp ridge parts that come out on its side edges, making it look sword with flame waves on its sides. And those sharp edges on its left and right can go back to its original sword, so sword can actually go back to its sheath and it will look a normal sword when sheathed.
Also, I want an silver button on the sword handle, that when pushed, the sword shoots our glitter into a rival enemy's eyes straight from the tip.
Because you know, its a pain in the ass to take all that glitter out when that happens.
Oh and now that I think about it, I want another red button on the sword handle. But this one sprays chili oil into a rival eyes. So it'd be harder to throw milk (which already has some bacteria) in their eyes to cleanse out the spiciness while mid battle.
Lastly, I want the handle to have a green button that shoots seaweed out with some chemical So suddenly mid fighting they sights is obscured by bunch of kelp so that when kelp is projected forward, it looks like a mass of hair or tentacles or squid or some dark monster going to suck the living face of the enemy. Great for scares and let the seaweed do the talking.
Oh, and the sword is a lightweight mechanic that doesn't backfire, ofc. No warranty liabilities if suddenly use in battle and it misfires.