Critics needed for my work; Just a Dream

AktenDreams

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I would live for people to tell me how bad it is and in the off chance that they like it to spread it around.
 

DuskArcanist

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Hi, will give an honest review if you can do the same for my WIP. Thank you
 

AktenDreams

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Hi, will give an honest review if you can do the same for my WIP. Thank you
No offense, friend but 4 chapter are not enough for a review.
 

Agentt

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No offense, friend but 4 chapter are not enough for a review.
They are, kinda. A review is never meant for the story or the plot, but rather the writing style, the pace, and setting. Since this is an online book, people can drop out whenever they want, rather than a physical book where if you have bought it, you have to read it through. Hence it is important to make a good first impression.
Ok, time for the review.
Firstly, a good synopsis. Good work on mentioning what audience you are attracting.
I would not reccomend posting all the chapters at once though. I see you have PayPal. Post one chapter at a time. People won't read if they are overwhelmed. Keep the rest of your chapters for donates. Like, there should be a benifit of donating, which in this case will be extra chapters.
And...I have nothing else to critic on. The characters have been introduced well. Could use some work on world building, the situation of the world, other than the farm and all. Maybe include a radio or newspaper to do that.
 
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WasatchWind

Writer, musician, creator of worlds
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I would live for people to tell me how bad it is and in the off chance that they like it to spread it around.
I would be willing to do a review trade, having you read a few chapters of my book Rip Current.
 

AktenDreams

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I would be willing to do a review trade, having you read a few chapters of my book Rip Current.
Look, the same was asked of me before. I personally wont do a review if there are not at least 20 chapters for me to evaluate. There just aint enough content for that.
It has happened before where people tell my story is bad in the beginning, so I reworked it a bit, but later I found out they only red the first few chapters and thats all. I dont want to do that.
They are, kinda. A review is never meant for the story or the plot, but rather the writing style, the pace, and setting. Since this is an online book, people can drop out whenever they want, rather than a physical book where if you have bought it, you have to read it through. Hence it is important to make a good first impression.
Ok, time for the review.
Firstly, a good synopsis. Good work on mentioning what audience you are attracting.
I would not reccomend posting all the chapters at once though. I see you have PayPal. Post one chapter at a time. People won't read if they are overwhelmed. Keep the rest of your chapters for donates. Like, there should be a benifit of donating, which in this case will be extra chapters.
And...I have nothing else to critic on. The characters have been introduced well. Could use some work on world building, the situation of the world, other than the farm and all. Maybe include a radio or newspaper to do that.
The first part was all about him and his sister at home, the second part of the first book I am writing will be worldbuilding. I hope at least, I am kinda going blind at this. Its more like the story writes me then me writing it.
 

WasatchWind

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Look, the same was asked of me before. I personally wont do a review if there are not at least 20 chapters for me to evaluate. There just aint enough content for that.
It has happened before where people tell my story is bad in the beginning, so I reworked it a bit, but later I found out they only red the first few chapters and thats all. I dont want to do that.

The first part was all about him and his sister at home, the second part of the first book I am writing will be worldbuilding. I hope at least, I am kinda going blind at this. Its more like the story writes me then me writing it.
Ah - I keep forgetting how little of my story is posted here. I have seventeen chapters on Wattpad, if you'd be willing to read there?
 

AktenDreams

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Ah - I keep forgetting how little of my story is posted here. I have seventeen chapters on Wattpad, if you'd be willing to read there?
Then you only need to post them here and 3 more to write :ROFLMAO:

Even I waited until I had over 30 chapters posted and asked for some critics.
 

WasatchWind

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Then you only need to post them here and 3 more to write :ROFLMAO:

Even I waited until I had over 30 chapters posted and asked for some critics.
There's no need to be rude about it. I'm not asking for an all encompassing review of my work, simply feedback.
 

WasatchWind

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I have no idea how I turned out to be rude :er_what_s:
It just came across as rather demeaning saying "even I" (was not this foolish), is kind of the feeling that came across. Some of us have a hard time putting together our stories, and want feedback before we get thirty chapters.
 

AktenDreams

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Ok, I am sorry if it sounded like that.
I do agree that its easy to lose ones drive to write. Thankfully right now I am full of it even. My only problem is writing it correctly out.
In my opinion if it is hard to put down a story try going for a different one. Maybe if one works on that one, one will find inspiration.
 

Agentt

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Ah - I keep forgetting how little of my story is posted here. I have seventeen chapters on Wattpad, if you'd be willing to read there?
I have just joined wattpad yesterday, so I'll look into it. The thing is, since I am new, I really don't know what's going on there. Like how to create or how to search titles. So.....do tell me that.
 

WasatchWind

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I have just joined wattpad yesterday, so I'll look into it. The thing is, since I am new, I really don't know what's going on there. Like how to create or how to search titles. So.....do tell me that.
It depends on where you're at - are you on PC or mobile? On mobile, you need the app to write. Then there's just the search bar on both platforms that you can search titles.
 

Agentt

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It depends on where you're at - are you on PC or mobile? On mobile, you need the app to write. Then there's just the search bar on both platforms that you can search titles.
K, will come back to you later,
 
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