critique this short story please.

The_3rd_Book

Pedagogical Cannibalism?
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“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Ishann says as he reaches for the doorknob of his ordinary suburban home.

He begins to turn the bronze handle when suddenly he pauses. His door is unlocked, which is particularly strange because while not the most meticulous fellow, he takes home security very seriously.

“That’s odd,” he says slowly, unsurely.

The moment of worry passes by just as fast as the feeling came. While shaking his head he reasons with himself. Why would anyone do anything to my house instead of all the others?

He proceeds to scoff “It would be one in a million.”

Without further ado, he enters his home only to come face to face with his number one producer of meat for his restaurant. A flash of understanding rises to his eyes, but then quickly changes to one of questioning.

“Artem if you wanted to meet you could have just caught me at work. We do have an office” he says with confusion.

Stepping closer the man in question responds with a grin “This needs to be kept a secret, but I assure you it will be profitable”

Raising an eyebrow, Ishaan beckons him to continue with his hands.

Artem’s eyes come alive “Remember that meat I had you serve to that critic in a pinch?”

“Indeed I do, you never told me what it was, but only that it was hard to get,” Ishaan says excitedly as he remembers the cut that was unlike anything he had ever seen.

Artem motions his best customer to the kitchen with a huge grin. “Here we are, my friend the best meat one can have”

Ishaan enters the kitchen, and time stops. His arms shake with crippling disbelief. All colors drain from him.

With a questioning gaze, the butcher asks “What’s wrong Ishaan? Why are you just standing there?”

Ishaan who is still shaking like a leaf stammers “D-d-david?” reality proceeds to hit like a truck. “DAVID!?!!” he shouts.

Artem frowns deeply “David? No, this is just a fine piece of meat,” he says matter of factly.

The chef burning with a fiery rage bellows “He had a family! A wife!” His fury was drowned out by a great sadness “We took his son on a behind the scenes tour of my place.” I still remember the sparkle in his eyes. “I want to be a chef, the little guy says. now that kid has to grow up without a father” Ishaans rage flares once more “You monster!”

The butcher recognizes his friend's anger and responds in kind. “Monster? I am trying to raise you to the level of a master chef! Our dreams of being the best can’t be achieved with normal ingredients!!” A glint of madness comes from him “I did what I had to” he seethes. Then stopping as a realization suddenly hits him. His face twisted into a sickening grin “You always say good dishes must have a sort of personality to them. I’ve enabled you to do that. Besides, you and that critical fellow both enjoyed the cut.”

A feeling of disgust overtakes Ishaan. “I?” he barely manages to push out before completing the thought.

“What?” Artem asks almost mockingly, drawing ever near to Ishaan. “You enjoyed it didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU!?!!”

Finally reaching his breaking point Ishaan grabs a chef's blade from the counter and plunges it into Artem’s heart.

Artem merely looks down and whispers “by a chef’s knife? Fitting.” before chuckling his last.

Ishaan returns to himself realizing what he just did, turns the blade onto himself.
 

KoyukiMegumi

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There are a few places where you can improve, such as...

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Ishann says, reaching for the doorknob of his ordinary suburban home.

Other than that, it is a short story. And I got the point. Good job. c:
 

The_3rd_Book

Pedagogical Cannibalism?
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There are a few places where you can improve, such as...

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Ishann says, reaching for the doorknob of his ordinary suburban home.

Other than that, it is a short story. And I got the point. Good job. c:
yay! It's not hot garbage!!!
 

K5Rakitan

Level 34 👪 💍 Pronouns: she/whore ♀
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I figured it would be about cannibalism the moment I read "butcher." After that, nothing was a surprise.
 
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Ishaan enters the kitchen, and time stops. His arms shake with crippling disbelief. All colors drain from him.

With a questioning gaze, the butcher asks “What’s wrong Ishaan? Why are you just standing there?”

Ishaan who is still shaking like a leaf stammers “D-d-david?” reality proceeds to hit like a truck. “DAVID!?!!” he shouts.
there's a major discontinuity. how did he know it was david? did he see a corpse? a detached head?

describing what he saw would make a big difference imo.
 

SakeVision

Sama/kisama
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The moment of worry passes by just as fast as the feeling came.

The feeling came and so have I

....and other weird phrases like these. I can see English isn't your first language, although the words you use aren't incorrect, the way they are used is very uncharacteristic for the English language.
I'm not going to rewrite your entire work for you, but you might wanna look at how other people write. I doubt your goal is to make the reader laugh, but the way things are now it's hard to take this story seriously.
 
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