Feedback and help on my script outline for a mystery/detective roleplay (I need MOAAAR feedback)

lacombe4545

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I am planning a mystery roleplay for my school performance, so I wrote this outline to see the mystery elements of my story. I need feedback on my outline on the logical correctness of the plot, and some holes in the deduction or in the plot. Any help about it would be appreciated.

Please take note that this outline does not show the actual script with dialogue and actions, only the parts needed to deduce the scene and the backstory. I'm sorry for posting this here even though it's not a chapter, or some dialogue. This is the only place on the Internet that I know of where I can receive feedback.

If this gets enough success, I may create a one-shot about it. If it gets even more success, I may create a detective series on scribblehub.
 

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Assurbanipal_II

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Anyway, I scanned through it and as far as I can see, there are no inconsistencies, which is to expected considering there is fundamentally no plot yet.

But how do you want to solve this case? Cross interrogation or deductions? And can I use my constitutional right to silence? And to begin with, where is my lawyer? You can't prove anything, detective. :blob_evil_two:
 

lacombe4545

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Cross interrogation or deductions? Deductions. But there will be direct interrogation.

And can I use my constitutional right to silence? Yes but only the random guy uses it. All the time. The others try to mislead the detective, each with their own motives.

And to begin with, where is my lawyer? They will not act as suspects but as "witnesses" who are there pro se. If they feel uncomfortable on the interrogation, they have the right to stop answering.
 
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