Feedback for a new story please :)

[TheIcMan]

Thanks so much!
Hopefully I can continue putting up this effort and doing more with it.

Also I've updated the chapter (only the paragraph breaks, as that's the only thing I have time for, for now). And I'll definitely use the video you've linked me.

 

[TheIcMan]

And if I may, this was probably the most eye-opening advice I've gotten.
Thanks sleepingfox!
I've made a couple edits, but it's getting pretty late here, so I'll look over the full thing tomorrow.

 

[sak-chii]

Hey everyone!
I am really new here to the site (just signed up yesterday :)), and I uploaded my story, The Last Aldrian, as well. I was really nervous doing it, but I've been getting views! So that's pretty exciting.

If anyone can, please give me some feedback! I've uploaded the story to another site, Inkitt, but I haven't gotten any comments or anything on it :(. Really, all I want is to hear how someone thinks of it, because being trapped in a bubble for a while with just me and my writing has put me in huge writer's block and given me a lot of doubts.

I just want to hear from different perspectives :D

Lol we are on the same boat when we want for replies but receive none. Love to see you in SH server so that we can chat.

I'll read it when Im free