The funny irony is that the good harem romance has some elements that you don't normally get in romance. First, you usually get a cast of well defined and creatively designed love interests, instead of one or two cookie cutter characters like in a lot of others. Secondly, if the story depicts a healthy poly group, the relationship between the love interests is usually a lot more engaging than the one with the mc.
I read a lot of harem stories when I was struggling with my gender, and figuring out the above and how I was always more connected to the girls, either self inserting and enjoying mentally dressing up as the different girls, or just enjoying the close girl companionship scenes, that helped me break the paradox and accept that I was enjoying the stories as a girl.
I still sometimes read the genre, but it feels like a shallow substitute for the realistic polycule fantasy romance that I desperately want. Give me those all girl polycules or some polycules that don't treat the main character as the center of the web!
I read a lot of harem stories when I was struggling with my gender, and figuring out the above and how I was always more connected to the girls, either self inserting and enjoying mentally dressing up as the different girls, or just enjoying the close girl companionship scenes, that helped me break the paradox and accept that I was enjoying the stories as a girl.
I still sometimes read the genre, but it feels like a shallow substitute for the realistic polycule fantasy romance that I desperately want. Give me those all girl polycules or some polycules that don't treat the main character as the center of the web!