Free First Chapter Feedback

[TheTrinary]

So I saw this done elsewhere and thought it would be fun.


If anyone wants to volunteer, I'll read your very first chapter (not prologue or anything else) and based solely on that I'll give a quick opinion on whether or not I'd continue reading the entire work. It's like a mini review for the first chapter and the ability to hook the audience!

I can make no guarantees with how contemporaneous it will be, but I'll try and stay up with this thread the best I can.

And if it seems I missed you on the review, just send me a message. There's a lot of stuff and it's entirely possible I could accidently skip someone.


Since this thread has become pretty prolific, I figured I'd make a best of the best list. My personal favorite three starting chapters are:

1. Caninstinct https://www.scribblehub.com/series/62445/caninstinct/
2. Ange'ls Dirge https://www.scribblehub.com/series/229892/angels-dirge/
3. Queensmen https://www.scribblehub.com/series/163971/queensmen/

And no I won't be making a worst of the worst list.

 

[Malonymous]

Do you have any genre or content restrictions?

 

[Freesia.Cutepearl]

Quick! Someone write a 100k word first chapter and post it!

 

[Malonymous]

Quick! Someone write a 100k word first chapter and post it!

Hmm... https://forum.scribblehub.com/threads/what-would-happen-if-someone-post-the-holy-bible.4017/

 

[heheawecomemana]

I volunteer as a tribute! xD Any Feedback is welcome thank you

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/218480/the-fallen-shall-rise/

 

[TheTrinary]

Do you have any genre or content restrictions?

I do not.

 

[TheTrinary]

Quick! Someone write a 100k word first chapter and post it!

Cheeky

 

[K5Rakitan]

If you're OK with mature stories, I'd like to toss mine in.

 

[TheTrinary]

I volunteer as a tribute! xD Any Feedback is welcome thank you

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/218480/the-fallen-shall-rise/

I'm going to have to say no, I would not keep on reading. There are some really good parts about it that are strong in terms of prose and voice, but it also reads like a first draft. There's a lot of errors and you frequently switch tenses between past and present which I personally find horribly annoying to read.

 

[Freesia.Cutepearl]

Cheeky

Actually... my whole story...
is almost ~100k words...
Hmmm...

HMMM.....

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[heheawecomemana]

I'm going to have to say no, I would not keep on reading. There are some really good parts about it that are strong in terms of prose and voice, but it also reads like a first draft. There's a lot of errors and you frequently switch tenses between past and present which I personally find horribly annoying to read.

Hehe...sigh grammar is not my strong point I've edited it like 5x already LOL but thanks for reading! I will continue to try to edit it more xD

 

[TheTrinary]

If you're OK with mature stories, I'd like to toss mine in.

While I can say this isn't the thing I would enjoy, I would imagine if that was the kind of niche I was in to, I would keep reading. It's competently written and has some unique hooks I wasn't expecting. Really, my only real complaint was the first few paragraphs being boring and kind of nothing. Because of that I was pleasantly surprised by the rest.

So yes.

Also that picture adds some nice production value. That's a nice touch.

 

[Freesia.Cutepearl]

Seriously, I might have, but I really don't know how well a single chapter can reflect anything, especially since I feel my earlier work is worse than I can do now, compounded by the fact I'm not really sure if the first chapter even makes sense without the prologue. The prologue writing is probably better too. Really I just want to rewrite the first several chapters whenever I think too much >.> Eventually I'll manage it.

 

[LostLibrarian]

Just for the fun of it:

The Lone Macaw - The Lone Macaw (1) – Prologue | Scribble Hub

www.scribblehub.com

That said, prologue is the first chapter in all but name :D

 

[TheTrinary]

Seriously, I might have, but I really don't know how well a single chapter can reflect anything, especially since I feel my earlier work is worse than I can do now, compounded by the fact I'm not really sure if the first chapter even makes sense without the prologue. The prologue writing is probably better too. Really I just want to rewrite the first several chapters whenever I think too much >.> Eventually I'll manage it.

Yea. The idea really focused on that idea of a "hook". Everyone wants their first chapter to hook people in and keep them reading, so I'm just trying to answer that. Would I keep reading based on your first chapter alone.

 

[TheTrinary]

Just for the fun of it:

The Lone Macaw - The Lone Macaw (1) – Prologue | Scribble Hub

www.scribblehub.com

That said, prologue is the first chapter in all but name :D

So the short answer is yes, I would keep reading. Nicely written. Very cool picture. 10/10.

The longer answer is that I actually happened to read this before. I saw it when it was first posted and read through it as I sometimes do with new stuff. Recognized it right away. Small world.

 

[LostLibrarian]

The longer answer is that I actually happened to read this before.

Small world, indeed :D

 

[Fromage]

Call Me What You Will - Call Me What You Will | Scribble Hub

www.scribblehub.com

 

[TheTrinary]

Call Me What You Will - Call Me What You Will | Scribble Hub

www.scribblehub.com

Technically your story doesn't really apply since there isn't a first chapter. It's all one big thing. But yea. After reading a bit of the start to what I would call a "chapter". I would keep reading. It's well done and fills a niche you don't see on sites like this.

 

[crownfall]

So I saw this done elsewhere and thought it would be fun.


If anyone wants to volunteer, I'll read your very first chapter (not prologue or anything else) and based solely on that I'll give a quick opinion on whether or not I'd continue reading the entire work. It's like a mini review for the first chapter and the ability to hook the audience!

I can make no guarantees with how contemporaneous it will be, but I'll try and stay up with this thread the best I can.

Gimme

Dungeon Darwinism

Ms. Benett needed groceries. Mark liked to help his community. She was an old friend of his family from church. Not that he went much anymore, since college, and moving away. Its just not the same since coming back. But he still helps where he can. A long night working....

www.scribblehub.com

My first two chapters are way too slow, I wanna add an in media res but I want to add an in media res of a scene from like chapter 20-30 and I'm not sure how it will shake out yet.