Hardest Game of Love ❤

[AuthorsDread]

I'm back again with another challenge for the scribble community. This game will be self-reflective and might be beneficial to your consciousness.

Here goes:
Task 1: Search your mind for the person or persons you have the most hateful experience with.
Task 2: Now try to control your emotions, you're doing good
Task 3: Next, say the most loving and kind thing to that person and watch the memory fades away.
Task 4: Write what you say to that person or persons in comments. (can also share your experience if you want)

My memory (this is real story by the way):
After my mother passed away 3 years ago, my auntie and other family members fly in from overseas and instead of offering condolences, they try to get me arrested, (telling lies to the police) so they could claim property they don't own. I tell you, i've never been so angry in my entire life, i wanted to eliminate these people, so much so that i cry like a baby. This was exactly what they wanted, for me to lash out in violence so that the police would have an excuse to take me to jail, (and we all know the law hates men) i wasn't thinking rational and i was going to give in to anger, But i swear i heard my mother's voice and felt her presence embracing me. I remember what she said, "Control yourself, we're here with you."
Her voice calm me down and instead of attacking these hateful people, i smile and said "I love all of you, so please stop." This was hard for me to say and obviously, my words only agitate them some more, but it was like a realization or something hit them minutes later that made them gave me a break on that day. They waited until after the funeral before they start back their hatefulness. But the point is, sometimes, LOVE can deescalate an impossible situation .

It's your turn to complete the tasks.

 

[TheEldritchGod]

Task Four: You dropped dead of a heart attack at 39.

The memory faded away long ago because Brian beat me into a coma and damaged my hypothalamus. I have forgotten my entire childhood because of the injuries he inflicted on me with a baseball bat. My skull is held together with strips of metal and screws.

I also have no idea what my own mother looks like as the progressive memory loss of my explicit memories deletes any real life memory older than 3 months. Or most people as I have developed face blindness. If you understand where emotions are stores and how they work, you will know that I am fully capable of emotion, but thanks to my condition everything becomes muted to the point if it is a familiar object, I cannot have emotions about it. I used to be terrified of heights, but now I feel nothing staring into an abyss.

If you think of emotions as a paint pallet, all my emotions have been drowned in a torrent of white paint. The only time I feel anything is when I encounter something new, but as time passes, the emotion is watered down to nothing but grey sludge.

All because Brian thought I was a satanist because I played D&D.

If this sounds angry or bitter, I'm not. I am completely void of any feeling on the matter as I have no personal experiences older that a few months. But I can store memories in the implicit side of my brain, which means everything I do remember is just a story. It is entirely possible that everything I do remember of my past is a lie, since only created memories can be stored in the implicit memory party of my brain.

Since emotions are what makes your personality, not only is Brian dead, but I'm dead as well. The old me, that is. I am just a shell of the old me, walking around with memories that may or may not be lies, trying to fulfill the wishes of the dead man, and trying to honor the memory of myself.

On the other hand, none of this bothers me in the slightest. I just don't bother worrying about the existential horror of it all. I used to. I used to write diaries and try various techniques to retain my fading personality. Then one day I forgot the day I learned I was doomed to forget all my personal memories and on that day, I no longer cared because all the terror I felt at disappearing vanished.

Now I'm sorta-happy-ish.

It's why i write fiction. They are lies and I can remember lies.

I have a T-Shirt that says "My life is a lie." I like to wear it because It makes me smile to think how true it is and that nobody will get it.

 

[BigBadBoi]

Task Four: You dropped dead of a heart attack at 39.

The memory faded away long ago because Brian beat me into a coma and damaged my hypothalamus. I have forgotten my entire childhood because of the injuries he inflicted on me with a baseball bat. My skull is held together with strips of metal and screws.

I also have no idea what my own mother looks like as the progressive memory loss of my explicit memories deletes any real life memory older than 3 months. Or most people as I have developed face blindness. If you understand where emotions are stores and how they work, you will know that I am fully capable of emotion, but thanks to my condition everything becomes muted to the point if it is a familiar object, I cannot have emotions about it. I used to be terrified of heights, but now I feel nothing staring into an abyss.

If you think of emotions as a paint pallet, all my emotions have been drowned in a torrent of white paint. The only time I feel anything is when I encounter something new, but as time passes, the emotion is watered down to nothing but grey sludge.

All because Brian thought I was a satanist because I played D&D.

If this sounds angry or bitter, I'm not. I am completely void of any feeling on the matter as I have no personal experiences older that a few months. But I can store memories in the implicit side of my brain, which means everything I do remember is just a story. It is entirely possible that everything I do remember of my past is a lie, since only created memories can be stored in the implicit memory party of my brain.

Since emotions are what makes your personality, not only is Brian dead, but I'm dead as well. The old me, that is. I am just a shell of the old me, walking around with memories that may or may not be lies, trying to fulfill the wishes of the dead man, and trying to honor the memory of myself.

On the other hand, none of this bothers me in the slightest. I just don't bother worrying about the existential horror of it all. I used to. I used to write diaries and try various techniques to retain my fading personality. Then one day I forgot the day I learned I was doomed to forget all my personal memories and on that day, I no longer cared because all the terror I felt at disappearing vanished.

Now I'm sorta-happy-ish.

It's why i write fiction. They are lies and I can remember lies.

I have a T-Shirt that says "My life is a lie." I like to wear it because It makes me smile to think how true it is and that nobody will get it.

jesus dude

 

[K5Rakitan]

I'm sorry my words angered you. It seems that we have very different constructs of morality.

 

[SailusGebel]

Task Four: You dropped dead of a heart attack at 39.

The memory faded away long ago because Brian beat me into a coma and damaged my hypothalamus. I have forgotten my entire childhood because of the injuries he inflicted on me with a baseball bat. My skull is held together with strips of metal and screws.

I also have no idea what my own mother looks like as the progressive memory loss of my explicit memories deletes any real life memory older than 3 months. Or most people as I have developed face blindness. If you understand where emotions are stores and how they work, you will know that I am fully capable of emotion, but thanks to my condition everything becomes muted to the point if it is a familiar object, I cannot have emotions about it. I used to be terrified of heights, but now I feel nothing staring into an abyss.

If you think of emotions as a paint pallet, all my emotions have been drowned in a torrent of white paint. The only time I feel anything is when I encounter something new, but as time passes, the emotion is watered down to nothing but grey sludge.

All because Brian thought I was a satanist because I played D&D.

If this sounds angry or bitter, I'm not. I am completely void of any feeling on the matter as I have no personal experiences older that a few months. But I can store memories in the implicit side of my brain, which means everything I do remember is just a story. It is entirely possible that everything I do remember of my past is a lie, since only created memories can be stored in the implicit memory party of my brain.

Since emotions are what makes your personality, not only is Brian dead, but I'm dead as well. The old me, that is. I am just a shell of the old me, walking around with memories that may or may not be lies, trying to fulfill the wishes of the dead man, and trying to honor the memory of myself.

On the other hand, none of this bothers me in the slightest. I just don't bother worrying about the existential horror of it all. I used to. I used to write diaries and try various techniques to retain my fading personality. Then one day I forgot the day I learned I was doomed to forget all my personal memories and on that day, I no longer cared because all the terror I felt at disappearing vanished.

Now I'm sorta-happy-ish.

It's why i write fiction. They are lies and I can remember lies.

I have a T-Shirt that says "My life is a lie." I like to wear it because It makes me smile to think how true it is and that nobody will get it.

Bruh.

 

[RepresentingEnvy]

I'm sorry my words angered you. It seems that we have very different constructs of morality.

 

[Vnator]

This feels kind of dumb. Not in the goal, which is to let go of the resentment that's holding you back, because that's actually really smart and gets a big +1 from me.

But in that you should accept or show love/compassion towards someone who's terribly hurt you. Some crimes are so terrible they simply can't be forgiven, and some of these perpetrators would do it again in a heartbeat. They shouldn't be forgiven. But you can forgive yourself for being a victim, and recognize that you're strong now and won't let it happen again/carry on with your life without letting the grief or trauma hold you back.

My fear is that if you're still suffering and needlessly express love for whoever hurt you, it'll make you feel like you deserved it in some way. Which you don't. On the other hand, if you have truly moved on and can throw a compliment their way in your mind, then it does show a lot of growth. But ONLY after you've well and truly moved on and forgotten about them.

 

[AHopelessWish]

I've been set on fire by my siblings, but that was at least before I was 6 cause that's my earliest memories. I don't remember any of the fucked up shit my sibling laugh about doing to me. Well some I do, so I know they aren't just making shit up. That doesn't mean you hate someone for the things they've done to you though. The thing I hate my family the most for is the constant hate they have for me. They like to lie constantly. The only ones I really get along with is my little brother, and my dad, and my little brother attacked me with a machete. My sister hasn't done anything to me, and I don't care about her.

What you are trying to do is calm people down from unjustified hate right? Sometimes you do hate people for no reason, but sometimes it's justified. Adios. Was gonna go back to writing, but now I'm pissed off cause I had to remember those assholes.

 

[TheEldritchGod]

jesus dude

Isn't this a writing forum?

Look. It is what it is. I don't really care. If some author is inspired and uses it as a hook for a character, power to him.

I mean, I get the whole, "I just discovered the power of letting go and look how much better I feel now that those people I hate don't have free rent in my head" deal the OP has going on.

It's a good life lesson. I see the need to share it. That moment is quite euphoric.

The hard part is when you realize that anger fear, pain, it exists for a reason.

Too much of anything is a bad thing, but "negative" emotions serve a purpose. We need them. Fear keeps us safe. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to act on spite of it. The power of fear when directed to a good cause is quite powerful.

Undirected hate becomes mindless rage, but focused for a righteous cause can save lives.

Like all things, strive for a balance. Being human is a wonderful thing. The joy, the pain, the loves, the loss. The point is to control your emotions, not to let them control you.


Ride the wave, tame your heart and you can move mountains.

 

[SailusGebel]

Isn't this a writing forum?

Look. It is what it is. I don't really care. If some author is inspired and uses it as a hook for a character, power to him.

I mean, I get the whole, "I just discovered the power of letting go and look how much better I feel now that those people I hate don't have free rent in my head" deal the OP has going on.

It's a good life lesson. I see the need to share it. That moment is quite euphoric.

The hard part is when you realize that anger fear, pain, it exists for a reason.

Too much of anything is a bad thing, but "negative" emotions serve a purpose. We need them. Fear keeps us safe. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to act on spite of it. The power of fear when directed to a good cause is quite powerful.

Undirected hate becomes mindless rage, but focused for a righteous cause can save lives.

Like all things, strive for a balance. Being human is a wonderful thing. The joy, the pain, the loves, the loss. The point is to control your emotions, not to let them control you.


Ride the wave, tame your heart and you can move mountains.

Bruh.

 

[TheEldritchGod]

Was gonna go back to writing, but now I'm pissed off cause I had to remember those assholes.

At least you can remember them.

Look, hate serves a purpose, but there is a point it becomes useless. Remembering a past wrong prevents you from falling for it again. Or seeing the signs in some other person's life so you can help them get out.

Don't let it go. Look at it with a critical eye and say, "How does this serve me?" If you don't have a good answer, move on.

I usually just go to this:
Life ain't fair, and that's a good thing.
If life was fair, then every shotty thing that happened to you was something you deserved.

Because life is unfair, it can be unfair in your favor. Don't worry above balancing the scales or payback or such nonsense. Strive to cheat like a bastard and win far more than you deserve.

Like they say, the best revenge is success and a long happy life.

 

[AuthorsDread]

Task Four: You dropped dead of a heart attack at 39.

The memory faded away long ago because Brian beat me into a coma and damaged my hypothalamus. I have forgotten my entire childhood because of the injuries he inflicted on me with a baseball bat. My skull is held together with strips of metal and screws.

I also have no idea what my own mother looks like as the progressive memory loss of my explicit memories deletes any real life memory older than 3 months. Or most people as I have developed face blindness. If you understand where emotions are stores and how they work, you will know that I am fully capable of emotion, but thanks to my condition everything becomes muted to the point if it is a familiar object, I cannot have emotions about it. I used to be terrified of heights, but now I feel nothing staring into an abyss.

If you think of emotions as a paint pallet, all my emotions have been drowned in a torrent of white paint. The only time I feel anything is when I encounter something new, but as time passes, the emotion is watered down to nothing but grey sludge.

All because Brian thought I was a satanist because I played D&D.

If this sounds angry or bitter, I'm not. I am completely void of any feeling on the matter as I have no personal experiences older that a few months. But I can store memories in the implicit side of my brain, which means everything I do remember is just a story. It is entirely possible that everything I do remember of my past is a lie, since only created memories can be stored in the implicit memory party of my brain.

Since emotions are what makes your personality, not only is Brian dead, but I'm dead as well. The old me, that is. I am just a shell of the old me, walking around with memories that may or may not be lies, trying to fulfill the wishes of the dead man, and trying to honor the memory of myself.

On the other hand, none of this bothers me in the slightest. I just don't bother worrying about the existential horror of it all. I used to. I used to write diaries and try various techniques to retain my fading personality. Then one day I forgot the day I learned I was doomed to forget all my personal memories and on that day, I no longer cared because all the terror I felt at disappearing vanished.

Now I'm sorta-happy-ish.

It's why i write fiction. They are lies and I can remember lies.

I have a T-Shirt that says "My life is a lie." I like to wear it because It makes me smile to think how true it is and that nobody will get it.

Wow, your story is really something. It's like you've found a way to paint life with different colors even if things seem kind of gray sometimes. It's awesome you can write stories even when real-life memories are hard to keep.

I think it's cool that you find some humor in things too, like with your "My life is a lie" T-shirt. We all tell ourselves stories to make sense of stuff that happens, don't we?

So, keep on writing. Your stories could mean a lot to others, just like they do to you. Who knows? Maybe we can chat more about what you write. Stay strong, and keep going!

 

[AuthorsDread]

I'm sorry my words angered you. It seems that we have very different constructs of morality.

Let it flow...

 

[AuthorsDread]

This feels kind of dumb. Not in the goal, which is to let go of the resentment that's holding you back, because that's actually really smart and gets a big +1 from me.

But in that you should accept or show love/compassion towards someone who's terribly hurt you. Some crimes are so terrible they simply can't be forgiven, and some of these perpetrators would do it again in a heartbeat. They shouldn't be forgiven. But you can forgive yourself for being a victim, and recognize that you're strong now and won't let it happen again/carry on with your life without letting the grief or trauma hold you back.

My fear is that if you're still suffering and needlessly express love for whoever hurt you, it'll make you feel like you deserved it in some way. Which you don't. On the other hand, if you have truly moved on and can throw a compliment their way in your mind, then it does show a lot of growth. But ONLY after you've well and truly moved on and forgotten about them.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I totally agree, this isn't about forgiving bad people or saying it's okay what they did. Not at all. It's more about finding peace in your own mind.

It's kind of like tidying up a messy room. When someone hurts you, they leave a mess in your mind. This "game" is about cleaning up that mess so it doesn't keep bothering you.

If you stay mad, it's like letting them still have power over you. But when you clean up the mess, you take back control. It's about feeling good in your own head, no matter what anyone else does. It's hard, but it can make things a bit better.

Hope that clears things up!

 

[AuthorsDread]

At least you can remember them.

Look, hate serves a purpose, but there is a point it becomes useless. Remembering a past wrong prevents you from falling for it again. Or seeing the signs in some other person's life so you can help them get out.

Don't let it go. Look at it with a critical eye and say, "How does this serve me?" If you don't have a good answer, move on.

I usually just go to this:
Life ain't fair, and that's a good thing.
If life was fair, then every shotty thing that happened to you was something you deserved.

Because life is unfair, it can be unfair in your favor. Don't worry above balancing the scales or payback or such nonsense. Strive to cheat like a bastard and win far more than you deserve.

Like they say, the best revenge is success and a long happy life.

Yes, this has some truth to it.

 

[RobBanks]

Get over here, Brian.

Come on, I'm not gonna hurt you buddy. I love you!

Just trust me, bro. It'll be okay.

 

[AuthorsDread]

I've been set on fire by my siblings, but that was at least before I was 6 cause that's my earliest memories. I don't remember any of the fucked up shit my sibling laugh about doing to me. Well some I do, so I know they aren't just making shit up. That doesn't mean you hate someone for the things they've done to you though. The thing I hate my family the most for is the constant hate they have for me. They like to lie constantly. The only ones I really get along with is my little brother, and my dad, and my little brother attacked me with a machete. My sister hasn't done anything to me, and I don't care about her.

What you are trying to do is calm people down from unjustified hate right? Sometimes you do hate people for no reason, but sometimes it's justified. Adios. Was gonna go back to writing, but now I'm pissed off cause I had to remember those assholes.

Thanks for sharing your story, and I'm really sorry to hear about the tough times you've had with your family. That's really rough, and nobody should have to go through that.

But you're right, this isn't about letting go of justified anger. Some things people do are really not okay, and it's totally normal to feel mad about them.

What this is really about is finding a way to feel better inside our own heads. It's like cleaning up a messy room in your mind. When we're stuck in hate, it's like we're carrying a heavy backpack everywhere. This "game" is about figuring out how to take that backpack off.

You definitely don't have to forget or forgive the bad stuff. But maybe we can learn how to put it down for a bit, so it doesn't weigh us down all the time whenever the subject is brought up. It is not easy to face your enemy and not rip them apart, but it all starts in the mind. Hope your writing goes well and you feel better soon.

 

[AuthorsDread]

Get over here, Brian.

Come on, I'm not gonna hurt you buddy. I love you!

Just trust me, bro. It'll be okay.

keep it that way, don't pull out anything sharp later on.