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HURGMCGURG

That Guy
Joined
Jan 22, 2019
Messages
364
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133
I wrote a chapter. I think it's good. Now, how do I make it better?
"Now, the key thing about magic, as I'm sure I've told you already, is that it's a confusing mess."

"... You have told me this before, yes."

"So, trust me when I say it, but casting magic is a confusing mess too."

"... I would think that would come with the--"

"Many other magic practitioners believe that you have to teach a student for years before giving them anything of true power. I would say they're idiots. Magic is so damn messy that most of the time it's best to play things by ear."

"... I still don't understand where you're going with this."

"And that's your problem. Not seeing the obvious. Now, swing the wand, say whatever comes to mind, and once you've made something happen, you can come back inside. Have a fun day!"

And that was how Noah found himself unceremoniously dumped outside the repurposed carriage he and his master called home with nothing but the cloak on his back, and a stick his master picked up in the park.

This was looking to be a better day than normal.

* * *

Knock knock knock. A couple hours had passed by the time Noah returned the doorstep to his master's home. The alley was dark, the only light coming from the small window on the door and the light from the streetlamps peeking around the edge of the alley.

"NO, I AM NOT JOINING YOUR DAMN --" The owner of the carriage shouted out loudly in his nasally voice as he ripped the door open before abruptly stopping upon seeing who it was. "Oh, welcome back."

Mr. Manster did not look like an old man, wise beyond belief in the ways of magic. That's because he was not. He was thirty four years old, wore a patched up suit that may have once been black but was now faded, and had a top hat on that was slightly too large for his head, and slightly too large for anything practical. He never failed to keep his brown handlebar mustache well trimmed and waxed, despite the rest of his shabby appearance. He often twirled it when he was feeling especially good about himself.

"Glad to be here." Noah responded in his almost constant monotone voice.

Noah was a short boy that looked like a magician's apprentice, if the magician was a failure and had very little in regards to good clothing to outfit his apprentice with. Unfortunately, such was the case with Noah. He had a dirty white dress shirt and black pants. His hair was a short, but it was a mess after spending the day outside. He had a short cape, reaching down to his waist, designed for flair rather than any other purpose, but it had patched up a few times with fabric that did not match with the rest of it.

"Hmph." His master snorted and folded his arms. "Do you think you can talk like that and get away with it? I'll get a new apprentice!"

"I'm sure that will work out for you well, sir." Noah said, as he tried to push past Manster to go inside.

"Alright, smarty." Unfortunately for him, he was easily halted by the much older and taller man. "Show me what you learned today."

Noah sighed before obliging. He stepped back and looked his master in the eye before drawing his wand. The wand being an ordinary looking stick anyone could find in a park. He pointed it towards his master and--

"Away from me, away from me!" Manster reached down and moved Noah's arm so that it was now pointing to his left. "That's exactly how some idiot magicians let themselves get killed. The last time I saw that happen, I had to be part of the clean up crew. 'For supplying the apprentice with too powerful a wand' they said. If a kid can't learn to not faff about and wave the wand at random, then they're not cut out to learn magic, and if a magician can't properly defend himself from a little bit of flesh eating acid, they're not much of a magician at all!"

Noah did not bother questioning his master about the situation, as it seemed exactly like the kind of irresponsible thing he would do. He had been living with the man for the past year, and he knew just how ridiculous he was. Instead of faffing about like the apprentice his master mentioned, Noah calmly raised the wand and...

Swung it in a wide arc at his master.

However, before it could hit Manster, a small shimmering barrier of about an inch in diameter appeared blocking the strike before it could land.

"Alright." Manster looked down on his pupil, staring at him with hard eyes. He clasped his hands together before bowing his head down at him. "What's your excuse for that move?"

Noah hesitated for a moment before speaking. "You did say that a magician should be able to defend himself from flesh eating acid. I merely assumed that they should be able to do the same for a stick."

"First of all my boy, if you call your wand a stick again, I won't let you wield another one for a week." Manster said with a smile. It was one of the things he had tried to drill into Noah for as long as he had him as an apprentice. If it's short, it's a wand. If it's tall, it's a staff. If it's short, it's a scepter.

"Second of all," Manster continued. "While that is very true, don't try that again unless you want to sleep outside tonight."

"... Fair enough."

"Great!" Manster stood back up to his full height while standing aside. "I'm glad you properly discovered the purpose of that old trinket. It does quite a bit of damage with one blow. The question now is whether or not you actually hit something with it, or did you--"

"I just hit something with it." Noah said as he walked inside, not bothering to glance at Manster as he frowned.

The interior of the carriage was simple, if only simple in construction. The decoration was as far from austere as possible. The walls were covered with shelves filled with knick knacks and odd trinkets, and the floor was covered with a grey carpet. The room was a rainbow of different colors, and while Noah once found the objects fascinating to look at, he now knew they held no purpose but to add atmosphere.

"I see... That is disappointing. Oh well, I suppose you'll be able to see the records of objects eventually. All of us magic casters must learn to do so eventually."

"As you've said before." Noah said as he walked through the room, and into through the curtains on the other side.

"Yes." Manster closed the door. "As I've said before."

Manster followed his apprentice into the back room. While spatial warping is a rare talent, Manster had managed to make his home bigger on this inside, as a true magic caster should. From what Noah had heard, it was extremely expensive to get things like that enchanted, so Manster must have money at some point to enchant it. He didn't seem to have it anymore.

The back room was a kitchen-dining room with a few other rooms connected to it as well. It had wooden cabinets, an iron stove, and even running water, though Noah had no idea how water was getting into the place when it had no pipes attached. Sure, it was probably magical, but where was the water being summoned from? Manster seemed oddly evasive about it when Noah had asked, and when Noah pressed him on it, Manster tossed him outside with a book and told him to come back after he finished reading it.

He was only allowed back inside after nine hours had passed.

It was eleven at night.

He had learned a valuable lesson about Manster. His master believed that hardships built character.

That, or he was just a lazy bum who would forget about his apprentice as soon as he lost sight of him.

Noah believed it was probably both.

Noah entered his bedroom to the side of the kitchen, and closed the door behind himself. He heard Manster enter the kitchen, pause for a moment, then walk to the right side of the kitchen, where his room was located.

Once Noah was fairly certain his master wasn't going to walk into his room, he released a breath he didn't know he was holding. He lifted up the stick in his right hand and looked at it. Then he looked at it in a different way.

A Stick Type: Bludgeoning Tool/Wand
Recorded Effect:
+5 to all melee damage done with this wand​

Noah smiled to himself as he reveled in his accomplishment. He had done it! He had finally done it!

He managed to see the true magic of the world for the first time!

He just wasn't quite ready to tell Manster he had done it yet. He had a feeling that would probably mean he would get left outside for the day with another lesson he would have to figure out on his own. It would be better if his teacher actually sat down and told how to do this stuff directly.

At least he was given food. Usually.

* * *

"Rejoice, apprentice." Manster said while he and Noah were having breakfast. "Today, we're having a history test."

Neither master nor apprentice had an inkling of how to cook, so it was a good thing that Manster had long since figured out how to enchant his stove with the ability to cook food. It also produced food out of nothing, and Noah didn't want to know where some of it had come from. He had asked about it once, but when Manster had replied with "the oven," Noah knew better than to push it.

"The history of magic? Or the history of New Camelot?" Noah asked, as he digged into his eggs with his fork.

"Little of both, really." Manster wiped his lips as he finished his meal. "Let's start with the obvious question. What is the Intrinsic Record and why is it referred to as such?"

Noah sighed before answering. It was a question he had been asked multiple times before. "The Intrinsic Record is the record that pervades reality. It is the fundamental power of all magic wielders, and sometimes those who don't cast magic. It is called the Intrinsic Record because it a fundamental law of reality."

"Hm. Mostly right." Manster said with a frown. "What is the driving force of the record?"

"Stories. Belief. Superstition. Legend." Noah said as he resumed eating.

"Good job, that was barely an answer. Do it properly."

Noah continued to eat as he answered, talking between bites. "The Intrinsic Record records everything in the world. As it records things, things of more importance to people, whether of personal significance or whether it's important in some other way, gain more relevance. Items effected in this way gain magical abilities, and people involved in events of significant importance can come out with additional abilities. The Record grants people and items power depending on what that object has been through, what that object can do, and the if enough similar items hold an effect, that effect can bleed over onto all similar items through the Record."

"Hmph. Better." Manster said as he stood up with his dishes, bringing them over to the sink. "And how do magic wielders use the Intrinsic Record?"

"Magic casters learn to read the Record. Using the knowledge granted by the Record, they can recognize and wield items with power, while accumulating power in their own record."

"Excellent! Now, tell me about the founding of New Camelot."

"New Camelot was founded a century after Camelot was lost by the council of magicians in order to preserve the magic of this land."

"And the real story?" Manster said with a smile on his face.

Noah sighed as he finally finished his food. "The real story is that New Camelot was founded by a bunch of magicians with the clever idea of taking advantage of the old Camelot's legend in order to accumulate more power in their record."

"And did it work?" Manster watched Noah stand up from his seat.

"Partly, but not quite in the way they intended." Noah picked up his dishes and brought them over to the sink before sitting back down. "They gained some power for making a city modeled after an old legend in its old location, but they only really gained power by being the founders of the new city. However, their families still hold a portion of that power by being their descendants, and being connected to the original founders through their records."

"Good! Now you get to explain exactly why they are terrible leaders who should be sacked."

"Because having magical powers does not make you a good leader. It only means no one will tell you no when you're wielding a wand."

"Congratulations, you passed! Now, the reason I'm quizzing you is because I'm going to have a guest over shortly."

"Okay?" Noah wasn't sure why his master was telling him this. Manster often had people over who he would sell a charm or spell to when he would have the opportunity. Noah was almost entirely sure his master was scamming most of them, but he couldn't be certain.

"I don't understand why you're telling me this." Noah noticed a black cat hop up on to the table. He hadn't seen it enter the room.

"Ah, there you are Tac. I'll have your breakfast ready in a moment." Manster walked away from the table and over to the stove where a plate full of eggs had appeared when Noah wasn't looking.

Tac was Manster's pet. Noah wasn't sure why he would just name it "cat" but backwards, but Noah didn't care enough about that to ask. It seemed to constantly appear and disappear at its own leisure and Noah was absolutely sure the cat could teleport or do some sort of spatial trickery.

Noah reached over and scratched the cat behind its ears before Manster set its food down at the table. "Here you are. Well, Noah, the guest I'm having over is very important. He's an old friend of mine named Mac. Don't call him Mac though, he hates his name. Call him by his magician's title, Mistecahl."

Noah looked back to Manster and nodded. Some magicians would eventually pick a name for themselves once they had gained enough power or recognition. Manster said that it was because they wanted names that sounded suitably mysterious and awe inspiring. Usually, it would be some sort of reference to their field of study. Noah wasn't able to discern what Mistecahl was a reference to, other than a poor pronunciation of mystical, but he would probably find out soon enough.

Then he finally processed that his master had someone that could be considered a friend and his mind puttered to a stop.

"Mac has been working for the Gima family for many years." Manster continued as he took off his hat and reached inside before rummaging around in it. "He's rather good at magic, but he's also a smug son of a gun that acts like he's better than he actually is."

The Gima family was one of the most famous magician families in New Camelot, being descendants of one of the original founders of the city. As such, they had an unnatural talent for magic and had control over about a quarter of the city. The rest of the city was balanced between the other two founding families, the Remnac and Treug families, and the actual city government. Needless to say, the government did not often get what they wanted in this city.

"Mac should be showing up soon. Because he'll be around for the better part of the day, you'll have to spend the day getting some practical experience." He peered into his hat, still trying to find something.

In Noah's mind, this was automatically translated to: "You'll be spending the day outside and away from here."

"As such, I have prepared a new test for you. Take this." Manster finally pulled a white glove from his hat and tossed it to Noah. "For the rest of the day, your challenge is to discover how to bind records to each other. Use the glove and try to bind it with the stick."

"But I still don't know how to see records--" Noah tried to protest, but to no avail.

"Oh, boo hoo. Then spend the day trying to see the Record again. Once you have, try to bind them together. Now." Manster walked to the door leading to the entrance room of the carriage. "Grab some food for lunch and get going. He'll be here any minute."

Noah got up from where he sat at the table, glanced over at Tac who was still enjoying his meal, and made his way out the door.

He walked to the other side of the entrance room and opened the door to find a surprised man about to knock.

The man was tall, well dressed, and had his black and gray hair was gelled and slicked back. He wore a dress shirt which had the sleeves rolled up to his elbows with a gray and red vest he wore over it. His dress pants were black, and his eyes were gray. He looked down through his spectacles and after a moment had passed, he spoke in a rough voice.

"Ah, greetings. I am here to see an old friend of mine."

Noah quickly put together the fact that this was probably Mistecahl. Then he realized that he called Manster his friend. Then he realized that Manster really did have a friend and wondered how that happened.

A hand reached down and grabbed Noah's shoulder from behind. "Mac, my good man, it's been so long! How are you doing?"

Mac's smile did not reach his eyes. "Connor, it's great to see you too! I've been well. May I step inside, it's looking like it's going to be raining soon.

"Of course, of course." Manster pushed Noah out the door and pulled Mac inside. "Sorry for calling you Mac, old habits. Just, don't call me Connor. I told you before I dislike having that name used."

"What, tired of being called as it is, Conman?" Mac said as the door shut behind him.

Noah could hear his master grumbling about something from behind the door, but couldn't make much of anything out.

Noah looked down at his hands, one holding a glove and a wand, and the other one holding a sandwich summoned from some unspeakable place. He looked up and saw that the sky was filled with gray clouds, as though it was going to downpour at any moment.

This was looking up to be a worse day than normal.
 

Assurbanipal_II

Empress of the Four Corners of the World
Joined
Jul 27, 2019
Messages
1,933
Points
153
I wrote a chapter. I think it's good. Now, how do I make it better?
"Now, the key thing about magic, as I'm sure I've told you already, is that it's a confusing mess."

"... You have told me this before, yes."

"So, trust me when I say it, but casting magic is a confusing mess too."

"... I would think that would come with the--"

"Many other magic practitioners believe that you have to teach a student for years before giving them anything of true power. I would say they're idiots. Magic is so damn messy that most of the time it's best to play things by ear."

"... I still don't understand where you're going with this."

"And that's your problem. Not seeing the obvious. Now, swing the wand, say whatever comes to mind, and once you've made something happen, you can come back inside. Have a fun day!"

And that was how Noah found himself unceremoniously dumped outside the repurposed carriage he and his master called home with nothing but the cloak on his back, and a stick his master picked up in the park.

This was looking to be a better day than normal.

* * *

Knock knock knock. A couple hours had passed by the time Noah returned the doorstep to his master's home. The alley was dark, the only light coming from the small window on the door and the light from the streetlamps peeking around the edge of the alley.

"NO, I AM NOT JOINING YOUR DAMN --" The owner of the carriage shouted out loudly in his nasally voice as he ripped the door open before abruptly stopping upon seeing who it was. "Oh, welcome back."

Mr. Manster did not look like an old man, wise beyond belief in the ways of magic. That's because he was not. He was thirty four years old, wore a patched up suit that may have once been black but was now faded, and had a top hat on that was slightly too large for his head, and slightly too large for anything practical. He never failed to keep his brown handlebar mustache well trimmed and waxed, despite the rest of his shabby appearance. He often twirled it when he was feeling especially good about himself.

"Glad to be here." Noah responded in his almost constant monotone voice.

Noah was a short boy that looked like a magician's apprentice, if the magician was a failure and had very little in regards to good clothing to outfit his apprentice with. Unfortunately, such was the case with Noah. He had a dirty white dress shirt and black pants. His hair was a short, but it was a mess after spending the day outside. He had a short cape, reaching down to his waist, designed for flair rather than any other purpose, but it had patched up a few times with fabric that did not match with the rest of it.

"Hmph." His master snorted and folded his arms. "Do you think you can talk like that and get away with it? I'll get a new apprentice!"

"I'm sure that will work out for you well, sir." Noah said, as he tried to push past Manster to go inside.

"Alright, smarty." Unfortunately for him, he was easily halted by the much older and taller man. "Show me what you learned today."

Noah sighed before obliging. He stepped back and looked his master in the eye before drawing his wand. The wand being an ordinary looking stick anyone could find in a park. He pointed it towards his master and--

"Away from me, away from me!" Manster reached down and moved Noah's arm so that it was now pointing to his left. "That's exactly how some idiot magicians let themselves get killed. The last time I saw that happen, I had to be part of the clean up crew. 'For supplying the apprentice with too powerful a wand' they said. If a kid can't learn to not faff about and wave the wand at random, then they're not cut out to learn magic, and if a magician can't properly defend himself from a little bit of flesh eating acid, they're not much of a magician at all!"

Noah did not bother questioning his master about the situation, as it seemed exactly like the kind of irresponsible thing he would do. He had been living with the man for the past year, and he knew just how ridiculous he was. Instead of faffing about like the apprentice his master mentioned, Noah calmly raised the wand and...

Swung it in a wide arc at his master.

However, before it could hit Manster, a small shimmering barrier of about an inch in diameter appeared blocking the strike before it could land.

"Alright." Manster looked down on his pupil, staring at him with hard eyes. He clasped his hands together before bowing his head down at him. "What's your excuse for that move?"

Noah hesitated for a moment before speaking. "You did say that a magician should be able to defend himself from flesh eating acid. I merely assumed that they should be able to do the same for a stick."

"First of all my boy, if you call your wand a stick again, I won't let you wield another one for a week." Manster said with a smile. It was one of the things he had tried to drill into Noah for as long as he had him as an apprentice. If it's short, it's a wand. If it's tall, it's a staff. If it's short, it's a scepter.

"Second of all," Manster continued. "While that is very true, don't try that again unless you want to sleep outside tonight."

"... Fair enough."

"Great!" Manster stood back up to his full height while standing aside. "I'm glad you properly discovered the purpose of that old trinket. It does quite a bit of damage with one blow. The question now is whether or not you actually hit something with it, or did you--"

"I just hit something with it." Noah said as he walked inside, not bothering to glance at Manster as he frowned.

The interior of the carriage was simple, if only simple in construction. The decoration was as far from austere as possible. The walls were covered with shelves filled with knick knacks and odd trinkets, and the floor was covered with a grey carpet. The room was a rainbow of different colors, and while Noah once found the objects fascinating to look at, he now knew they held no purpose but to add atmosphere.

"I see... That is disappointing. Oh well, I suppose you'll be able to see the records of objects eventually. All of us magic casters must learn to do so eventually."

"As you've said before." Noah said as he walked through the room, and into through the curtains on the other side.

"Yes." Manster closed the door. "As I've said before."

Manster followed his apprentice into the back room. While spatial warping is a rare talent, Manster had managed to make his home bigger on this inside, as a true magic caster should. From what Noah had heard, it was extremely expensive to get things like that enchanted, so Manster must have money at some point to enchant it. He didn't seem to have it anymore.

The back room was a kitchen-dining room with a few other rooms connected to it as well. It had wooden cabinets, an iron stove, and even running water, though Noah had no idea how water was getting into the place when it had no pipes attached. Sure, it was probably magical, but where was the water being summoned from? Manster seemed oddly evasive about it when Noah had asked, and when Noah pressed him on it, Manster tossed him outside with a book and told him to come back after he finished reading it.

He was only allowed back inside after nine hours had passed.

It was eleven at night.

He had learned a valuable lesson about Manster. His master believed that hardships built character.

That, or he was just a lazy bum who would forget about his apprentice as soon as he lost sight of him.

Noah believed it was probably both.

Noah entered his bedroom to the side of the kitchen, and closed the door behind himself. He heard Manster enter the kitchen, pause for a moment, then walk to the right side of the kitchen, where his room was located.

Once Noah was fairly certain his master wasn't going to walk into his room, he released a breath he didn't know he was holding. He lifted up the stick in his right hand and looked at it. Then he looked at it in a different way.

A Stick Type: Bludgeoning Tool/Wand
Recorded Effect:
+5 to all melee damage done with this wand​

Noah smiled to himself as he reveled in his accomplishment. He had done it! He had finally done it!

He managed to see the true magic of the world for the first time!

He just wasn't quite ready to tell Manster he had done it yet. He had a feeling that would probably mean he would get left outside for the day with another lesson he would have to figure out on his own. It would be better if his teacher actually sat down and told how to do this stuff directly.

At least he was given food. Usually.

* * *

"Rejoice, apprentice." Manster said while he and Noah were having breakfast. "Today, we're having a history test."

Neither master nor apprentice had an inkling of how to cook, so it was a good thing that Manster had long since figured out how to enchant his stove with the ability to cook food. It also produced food out of nothing, and Noah didn't want to know where some of it had come from. He had asked about it once, but when Manster had replied with "the oven," Noah knew better than to push it.

"The history of magic? Or the history of New Camelot?" Noah asked, as he digged into his eggs with his fork.

"Little of both, really." Manster wiped his lips as he finished his meal. "Let's start with the obvious question. What is the Intrinsic Record and why is it referred to as such?"

Noah sighed before answering. It was a question he had been asked multiple times before. "The Intrinsic Record is the record that pervades reality. It is the fundamental power of all magic wielders, and sometimes those who don't cast magic. It is called the Intrinsic Record because it a fundamental law of reality."

"Hm. Mostly right." Manster said with a frown. "What is the driving force of the record?"

"Stories. Belief. Superstition. Legend." Noah said as he resumed eating.

"Good job, that was barely an answer. Do it properly."

Noah continued to eat as he answered, talking between bites. "The Intrinsic Record records everything in the world. As it records things, things of more importance to people, whether of personal significance or whether it's important in some other way, gain more relevance. Items effected in this way gain magical abilities, and people involved in events of significant importance can come out with additional abilities. The Record grants people and items power depending on what that object has been through, what that object can do, and the if enough similar items hold an effect, that effect can bleed over onto all similar items through the Record."

"Hmph. Better." Manster said as he stood up with his dishes, bringing them over to the sink. "And how do magic wielders use the Intrinsic Record?"

"Magic casters learn to read the Record. Using the knowledge granted by the Record, they can recognize and wield items with power, while accumulating power in their own record."

"Excellent! Now, tell me about the founding of New Camelot."

"New Camelot was founded a century after Camelot was lost by the council of magicians in order to preserve the magic of this land."

"And the real story?" Manster said with a smile on his face.

Noah sighed as he finally finished his food. "The real story is that New Camelot was founded by a bunch of magicians with the clever idea of taking advantage of the old Camelot's legend in order to accumulate more power in their record."

"And did it work?" Manster watched Noah stand up from his seat.

"Partly, but not quite in the way they intended." Noah picked up his dishes and brought them over to the sink before sitting back down. "They gained some power for making a city modeled after an old legend in its old location, but they only really gained power by being the founders of the new city. However, their families still hold a portion of that power by being their descendants, and being connected to the original founders through their records."

"Good! Now you get to explain exactly why they are terrible leaders who should be sacked."

"Because having magical powers does not make you a good leader. It only means no one will tell you no when you're wielding a wand."

"Congratulations, you passed! Now, the reason I'm quizzing you is because I'm going to have a guest over shortly."

"Okay?" Noah wasn't sure why his master was telling him this. Manster often had people over who he would sell a charm or spell to when he would have the opportunity. Noah was almost entirely sure his master was scamming most of them, but he couldn't be certain.

"I don't understand why you're telling me this." Noah noticed a black cat hop up on to the table. He hadn't seen it enter the room.

"Ah, there you are Tac. I'll have your breakfast ready in a moment." Manster walked away from the table and over to the stove where a plate full of eggs had appeared when Noah wasn't looking.

Tac was Manster's pet. Noah wasn't sure why he would just name it "cat" but backwards, but Noah didn't care enough about that to ask. It seemed to constantly appear and disappear at its own leisure and Noah was absolutely sure the cat could teleport or do some sort of spatial trickery.

Noah reached over and scratched the cat behind its ears before Manster set its food down at the table. "Here you are. Well, Noah, the guest I'm having over is very important. He's an old friend of mine named Mac. Don't call him Mac though, he hates his name. Call him by his magician's title, Mistecahl."

Noah looked back to Manster and nodded. Some magicians would eventually pick a name for themselves once they had gained enough power or recognition. Manster said that it was because they wanted names that sounded suitably mysterious and awe inspiring. Usually, it would be some sort of reference to their field of study. Noah wasn't able to discern what Mistecahl was a reference to, other than a poor pronunciation of mystical, but he would probably find out soon enough.

Then he finally processed that his master had someone that could be considered a friend and his mind puttered to a stop.

"Mac has been working for the Gima family for many years." Manster continued as he took off his hat and reached inside before rummaging around in it. "He's rather good at magic, but he's also a smug son of a gun that acts like he's better than he actually is."

The Gima family was one of the most famous magician families in New Camelot, being descendants of one of the original founders of the city. As such, they had an unnatural talent for magic and had control over about a quarter of the city. The rest of the city was balanced between the other two founding families, the Remnac and Treug families, and the actual city government. Needless to say, the government did not often get what they wanted in this city.

"Mac should be showing up soon. Because he'll be around for the better part of the day, you'll have to spend the day getting some practical experience." He peered into his hat, still trying to find something.

In Noah's mind, this was automatically translated to: "You'll be spending the day outside and away from here."

"As such, I have prepared a new test for you. Take this." Manster finally pulled a white glove from his hat and tossed it to Noah. "For the rest of the day, your challenge is to discover how to bind records to each other. Use the glove and try to bind it with the stick."

"But I still don't know how to see records--" Noah tried to protest, but to no avail.

"Oh, boo hoo. Then spend the day trying to see the Record again. Once you have, try to bind them together. Now." Manster walked to the door leading to the entrance room of the carriage. "Grab some food for lunch and get going. He'll be here any minute."

Noah got up from where he sat at the table, glanced over at Tac who was still enjoying his meal, and made his way out the door.

He walked to the other side of the entrance room and opened the door to find a surprised man about to knock.

The man was tall, well dressed, and had his black and gray hair was gelled and slicked back. He wore a dress shirt which had the sleeves rolled up to his elbows with a gray and red vest he wore over it. His dress pants were black, and his eyes were gray. He looked down through his spectacles and after a moment had passed, he spoke in a rough voice.

"Ah, greetings. I am here to see an old friend of mine."

Noah quickly put together the fact that this was probably Mistecahl. Then he realized that he called Manster his friend. Then he realized that Manster really did have a friend and wondered how that happened.

A hand reached down and grabbed Noah's shoulder from behind. "Mac, my good man, it's been so long! How are you doing?"

Mac's smile did not reach his eyes. "Connor, it's great to see you too! I've been well. May I step inside, it's looking like it's going to be raining soon.

"Of course, of course." Manster pushed Noah out the door and pulled Mac inside. "Sorry for calling you Mac, old habits. Just, don't call me Connor. I told you before I dislike having that name used."

"What, tired of being called as it is, Conman?" Mac said as the door shut behind him.

Noah could hear his master grumbling about something from behind the door, but couldn't make much of anything out.

Noah looked down at his hands, one holding a glove and a wand, and the other one holding a sandwich summoned from some unspeakable place. He looked up and saw that the sky was filled with gray clouds, as though it was going to downpour at any moment.

This was looking up to be a worse day than normal.

Add some Eroge. Never forget the booby trap sells! :blob_evil_two:
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Last edited:

ChronicleCrawler

♠ItCrawls♠
Joined
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Messages
325
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I wrote a chapter. I think it's good. Now, how do I make it better?
"Now, the key thing about magic, as I'm sure I've told you already, is that it's a confusing mess."

"... You have told me this before, yes."

"So, trust me when I say it, but casting magic is a confusing mess too."

"... I would think that would come with the--"

"Many other magic practitioners believe that you have to teach a student for years before giving them anything of true power. I would say they're idiots. Magic is so damn messy that most of the time it's best to play things by ear."

"... I still don't understand where you're going with this."

"And that's your problem. Not seeing the obvious. Now, swing the wand, say whatever comes to mind, and once you've made something happen, you can come back inside. Have a fun day!"

And that was how Noah found himself unceremoniously dumped outside the repurposed carriage he and his master called home with nothing but the cloak on his back, and a stick his master picked up in the park.

This was looking to be a better day than normal.

* * *

Knock knock knock. A couple hours had passed by the time Noah returned the doorstep to his master's home. The alley was dark, the only light coming from the small window on the door and the light from the streetlamps peeking around the edge of the alley.

"NO, I AM NOT JOINING YOUR DAMN --" The owner of the carriage shouted out loudly in his nasally voice as he ripped the door open before abruptly stopping upon seeing who it was. "Oh, welcome back."

Mr. Manster did not look like an old man, wise beyond belief in the ways of magic. That's because he was not. He was thirty four years old, wore a patched up suit that may have once been black but was now faded, and had a top hat on that was slightly too large for his head, and slightly too large for anything practical. He never failed to keep his brown handlebar mustache well trimmed and waxed, despite the rest of his shabby appearance. He often twirled it when he was feeling especially good about himself.

"Glad to be here." Noah responded in his almost constant monotone voice.

Noah was a short boy that looked like a magician's apprentice, if the magician was a failure and had very little in regards to good clothing to outfit his apprentice with. Unfortunately, such was the case with Noah. He had a dirty white dress shirt and black pants. His hair was a short, but it was a mess after spending the day outside. He had a short cape, reaching down to his waist, designed for flair rather than any other purpose, but it had patched up a few times with fabric that did not match with the rest of it.

"Hmph." His master snorted and folded his arms. "Do you think you can talk like that and get away with it? I'll get a new apprentice!"

"I'm sure that will work out for you well, sir." Noah said, as he tried to push past Manster to go inside.

"Alright, smarty." Unfortunately for him, he was easily halted by the much older and taller man. "Show me what you learned today."

Noah sighed before obliging. He stepped back and looked his master in the eye before drawing his wand. The wand being an ordinary looking stick anyone could find in a park. He pointed it towards his master and--

"Away from me, away from me!" Manster reached down and moved Noah's arm so that it was now pointing to his left. "That's exactly how some idiot magicians let themselves get killed. The last time I saw that happen, I had to be part of the clean up crew. 'For supplying the apprentice with too powerful a wand' they said. If a kid can't learn to not faff about and wave the wand at random, then they're not cut out to learn magic, and if a magician can't properly defend himself from a little bit of flesh eating acid, they're not much of a magician at all!"

Noah did not bother questioning his master about the situation, as it seemed exactly like the kind of irresponsible thing he would do. He had been living with the man for the past year, and he knew just how ridiculous he was. Instead of faffing about like the apprentice his master mentioned, Noah calmly raised the wand and...

Swung it in a wide arc at his master.

However, before it could hit Manster, a small shimmering barrier of about an inch in diameter appeared blocking the strike before it could land.

"Alright." Manster looked down on his pupil, staring at him with hard eyes. He clasped his hands together before bowing his head down at him. "What's your excuse for that move?"

Noah hesitated for a moment before speaking. "You did say that a magician should be able to defend himself from flesh eating acid. I merely assumed that they should be able to do the same for a stick."

"First of all my boy, if you call your wand a stick again, I won't let you wield another one for a week." Manster said with a smile. It was one of the things he had tried to drill into Noah for as long as he had him as an apprentice. If it's short, it's a wand. If it's tall, it's a staff. If it's short, it's a scepter.

"Second of all," Manster continued. "While that is very true, don't try that again unless you want to sleep outside tonight."

"... Fair enough."

"Great!" Manster stood back up to his full height while standing aside. "I'm glad you properly discovered the purpose of that old trinket. It does quite a bit of damage with one blow. The question now is whether or not you actually hit something with it, or did you--"

"I just hit something with it." Noah said as he walked inside, not bothering to glance at Manster as he frowned.

The interior of the carriage was simple, if only simple in construction. The decoration was as far from austere as possible. The walls were covered with shelves filled with knick knacks and odd trinkets, and the floor was covered with a grey carpet. The room was a rainbow of different colors, and while Noah once found the objects fascinating to look at, he now knew they held no purpose but to add atmosphere.

"I see... That is disappointing. Oh well, I suppose you'll be able to see the records of objects eventually. All of us magic casters must learn to do so eventually."

"As you've said before." Noah said as he walked through the room, and into through the curtains on the other side.

"Yes." Manster closed the door. "As I've said before."

Manster followed his apprentice into the back room. While spatial warping is a rare talent, Manster had managed to make his home bigger on this inside, as a true magic caster should. From what Noah had heard, it was extremely expensive to get things like that enchanted, so Manster must have money at some point to enchant it. He didn't seem to have it anymore.

The back room was a kitchen-dining room with a few other rooms connected to it as well. It had wooden cabinets, an iron stove, and even running water, though Noah had no idea how water was getting into the place when it had no pipes attached. Sure, it was probably magical, but where was the water being summoned from? Manster seemed oddly evasive about it when Noah had asked, and when Noah pressed him on it, Manster tossed him outside with a book and told him to come back after he finished reading it.

He was only allowed back inside after nine hours had passed.

It was eleven at night.

He had learned a valuable lesson about Manster. His master believed that hardships built character.

That, or he was just a lazy bum who would forget about his apprentice as soon as he lost sight of him.

Noah believed it was probably both.

Noah entered his bedroom to the side of the kitchen, and closed the door behind himself. He heard Manster enter the kitchen, pause for a moment, then walk to the right side of the kitchen, where his room was located.

Once Noah was fairly certain his master wasn't going to walk into his room, he released a breath he didn't know he was holding. He lifted up the stick in his right hand and looked at it. Then he looked at it in a different way.

A Stick Type: Bludgeoning Tool/Wand
Recorded Effect:
+5 to all melee damage done with this wand​

Noah smiled to himself as he reveled in his accomplishment. He had done it! He had finally done it!

He managed to see the true magic of the world for the first time!

He just wasn't quite ready to tell Manster he had done it yet. He had a feeling that would probably mean he would get left outside for the day with another lesson he would have to figure out on his own. It would be better if his teacher actually sat down and told how to do this stuff directly.

At least he was given food. Usually.

* * *

"Rejoice, apprentice." Manster said while he and Noah were having breakfast. "Today, we're having a history test."

Neither master nor apprentice had an inkling of how to cook, so it was a good thing that Manster had long since figured out how to enchant his stove with the ability to cook food. It also produced food out of nothing, and Noah didn't want to know where some of it had come from. He had asked about it once, but when Manster had replied with "the oven," Noah knew better than to push it.

"The history of magic? Or the history of New Camelot?" Noah asked, as he digged into his eggs with his fork.

"Little of both, really." Manster wiped his lips as he finished his meal. "Let's start with the obvious question. What is the Intrinsic Record and why is it referred to as such?"

Noah sighed before answering. It was a question he had been asked multiple times before. "The Intrinsic Record is the record that pervades reality. It is the fundamental power of all magic wielders, and sometimes those who don't cast magic. It is called the Intrinsic Record because it a fundamental law of reality."

"Hm. Mostly right." Manster said with a frown. "What is the driving force of the record?"

"Stories. Belief. Superstition. Legend." Noah said as he resumed eating.

"Good job, that was barely an answer. Do it properly."

Noah continued to eat as he answered, talking between bites. "The Intrinsic Record records everything in the world. As it records things, things of more importance to people, whether of personal significance or whether it's important in some other way, gain more relevance. Items effected in this way gain magical abilities, and people involved in events of significant importance can come out with additional abilities. The Record grants people and items power depending on what that object has been through, what that object can do, and the if enough similar items hold an effect, that effect can bleed over onto all similar items through the Record."

"Hmph. Better." Manster said as he stood up with his dishes, bringing them over to the sink. "And how do magic wielders use the Intrinsic Record?"

"Magic casters learn to read the Record. Using the knowledge granted by the Record, they can recognize and wield items with power, while accumulating power in their own record."

"Excellent! Now, tell me about the founding of New Camelot."

"New Camelot was founded a century after Camelot was lost by the council of magicians in order to preserve the magic of this land."

"And the real story?" Manster said with a smile on his face.

Noah sighed as he finally finished his food. "The real story is that New Camelot was founded by a bunch of magicians with the clever idea of taking advantage of the old Camelot's legend in order to accumulate more power in their record."

"And did it work?" Manster watched Noah stand up from his seat.

"Partly, but not quite in the way they intended." Noah picked up his dishes and brought them over to the sink before sitting back down. "They gained some power for making a city modeled after an old legend in its old location, but they only really gained power by being the founders of the new city. However, their families still hold a portion of that power by being their descendants, and being connected to the original founders through their records."

"Good! Now you get to explain exactly why they are terrible leaders who should be sacked."

"Because having magical powers does not make you a good leader. It only means no one will tell you no when you're wielding a wand."

"Congratulations, you passed! Now, the reason I'm quizzing you is because I'm going to have a guest over shortly."

"Okay?" Noah wasn't sure why his master was telling him this. Manster often had people over who he would sell a charm or spell to when he would have the opportunity. Noah was almost entirely sure his master was scamming most of them, but he couldn't be certain.

"I don't understand why you're telling me this." Noah noticed a black cat hop up on to the table. He hadn't seen it enter the room.

"Ah, there you are Tac. I'll have your breakfast ready in a moment." Manster walked away from the table and over to the stove where a plate full of eggs had appeared when Noah wasn't looking.

Tac was Manster's pet. Noah wasn't sure why he would just name it "cat" but backwards, but Noah didn't care enough about that to ask. It seemed to constantly appear and disappear at its own leisure and Noah was absolutely sure the cat could teleport or do some sort of spatial trickery.

Noah reached over and scratched the cat behind its ears before Manster set its food down at the table. "Here you are. Well, Noah, the guest I'm having over is very important. He's an old friend of mine named Mac. Don't call him Mac though, he hates his name. Call him by his magician's title, Mistecahl."

Noah looked back to Manster and nodded. Some magicians would eventually pick a name for themselves once they had gained enough power or recognition. Manster said that it was because they wanted names that sounded suitably mysterious and awe inspiring. Usually, it would be some sort of reference to their field of study. Noah wasn't able to discern what Mistecahl was a reference to, other than a poor pronunciation of mystical, but he would probably find out soon enough.

Then he finally processed that his master had someone that could be considered a friend and his mind puttered to a stop.

"Mac has been working for the Gima family for many years." Manster continued as he took off his hat and reached inside before rummaging around in it. "He's rather good at magic, but he's also a smug son of a gun that acts like he's better than he actually is."

The Gima family was one of the most famous magician families in New Camelot, being descendants of one of the original founders of the city. As such, they had an unnatural talent for magic and had control over about a quarter of the city. The rest of the city was balanced between the other two founding families, the Remnac and Treug families, and the actual city government. Needless to say, the government did not often get what they wanted in this city.

"Mac should be showing up soon. Because he'll be around for the better part of the day, you'll have to spend the day getting some practical experience." He peered into his hat, still trying to find something.

In Noah's mind, this was automatically translated to: "You'll be spending the day outside and away from here."

"As such, I have prepared a new test for you. Take this." Manster finally pulled a white glove from his hat and tossed it to Noah. "For the rest of the day, your challenge is to discover how to bind records to each other. Use the glove and try to bind it with the stick."

"But I still don't know how to see records--" Noah tried to protest, but to no avail.

"Oh, boo hoo. Then spend the day trying to see the Record again. Once you have, try to bind them together. Now." Manster walked to the door leading to the entrance room of the carriage. "Grab some food for lunch and get going. He'll be here any minute."

Noah got up from where he sat at the table, glanced over at Tac who was still enjoying his meal, and made his way out the door.

He walked to the other side of the entrance room and opened the door to find a surprised man about to knock.

The man was tall, well dressed, and had his black and gray hair was gelled and slicked back. He wore a dress shirt which had the sleeves rolled up to his elbows with a gray and red vest he wore over it. His dress pants were black, and his eyes were gray. He looked down through his spectacles and after a moment had passed, he spoke in a rough voice.

"Ah, greetings. I am here to see an old friend of mine."

Noah quickly put together the fact that this was probably Mistecahl. Then he realized that he called Manster his friend. Then he realized that Manster really did have a friend and wondered how that happened.

A hand reached down and grabbed Noah's shoulder from behind. "Mac, my good man, it's been so long! How are you doing?"

Mac's smile did not reach his eyes. "Connor, it's great to see you too! I've been well. May I step inside, it's looking like it's going to be raining soon.

"Of course, of course." Manster pushed Noah out the door and pulled Mac inside. "Sorry for calling you Mac, old habits. Just, don't call me Connor. I told you before I dislike having that name used."

"What, tired of being called as it is, Conman?" Mac said as the door shut behind him.

Noah could hear his master grumbling about something from behind the door, but couldn't make much of anything out.

Noah looked down at his hands, one holding a glove and a wand, and the other one holding a sandwich summoned from some unspeakable place. He looked up and saw that the sky was filled with gray clouds, as though it was going to downpour at any moment.

This was looking up to be a worse day than normal.
I like it. There's a sense of mystery in it. Keep it up. As for my advice, you could get the reader more engage by perhaps describing or hinting a little bit about the setting of the story. Example> "He walked to the other side of the entrance room and opened the door to find a surprised man about to knock." hint a little bit about the door, was it rusty, creaking, smells like dust. It keeps the readers on their toes. You'll be giving them some interesting details as if they were there. Hope this helps.
 

HURGMCGURG

That Guy
Joined
Jan 22, 2019
Messages
364
Points
133
I like it. There's a sense of mystery in it. Keep it up. As for my advice, you could get the reader more engage by perhaps describing or hinting a little bit about the setting of the story. Example> "He walked to the other side of the entrance room and opened the door to find a surprised man about to knock." hint a little bit about the door, was it rusty, creaking, smells like dust. It keeps the readers on their toes. You'll be giving them some interesting details as if they were there. Hope this helps.
Yes. Yes, this does help. Thank you!
 
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