How arrogant were you when you first came here

[DarklyReadsBooks]

Naturally, being the Origin God, I have full confidence, your mortal trifles do not afflict me.

 

[Wyatt_Wriots]

Generally speaking, as you improve as a writer, you tend to look at your earlier works and notice their issues more easily.

I definitely feel like there are some real problems on the first stories I wrote for Online Roleplays, for example.

For my first novel... I can clearly see that it's amateurish and it suffers from me not being as aware as I thought I was about what I wanted to write. Had I written ahead a bit (as opposed to publishing chapters as soon as I was done writing and proofreading them), I'm sure the final work would have been more polished.

Though cringing? Not really, I like my previous stories, even if they have their flaws~

If I could go back to my teenage years and re-read my writing, I'm sure the cringe would be hard. So glad that's lost to the dust of time.

 

[LordJoyde]

What is good about writing smut?, i can't get it why people love to write this kind of thing.

Well written smut can do wonders for character development.

Haven't you ever wanted to have 2 character sleep with each other? Romance only goes so far. For a realistic relationship, you simply need sex, the choice of if its written down or just mentioned is yours alone to make, but hey, if you can write it properly, people can enjoy it. I will always make it painfully obvious what the chapter is about though, so people can skip it if they find it distasteful.

 

[AliceShiki]

For a realistic relationship, you simply need sex,

... Unless the characters are minors and/or not mentally prepared for it.
Or are in a Long Distance Relationship...
Or have too much discomfort with their own body, to the point they can't fathom showing themselves naked to someone else...
Or they just don't feel any sexual arousal towards others, even if they have romantic feelings for the other party...
Or they have a trauma (like, being raped when younger and the like) that makes them unable to get into a sexual situation without triggering PTSD...

There are a lot of ways to make a realistic relationship between characters not involve sex... >.>

 

[LordJoyde]

... Unless the characters are minors and/or not mentally prepared for it.
Or are in a Long Distance Relationship...
Or have too much discomfort with their own body, to the point they can't fathom showing themselves naked to someone else...
Or they just don't feel any sexual arousal towards others, even if they have romantic feelings for the other party...
Or they have a trauma (like, being raped when younger and the like) that makes them unable to get into a sexual situation without triggering PTSD...

There are a lot of ways to make a realistic relationship between characters not involve sex... >.>

Minors cannot have a realistic relationship.
LDR's are not realistic relationships.
If you can't show yourself to anyone, not even the person you love and trust above all others, I'd say you don't love them at all.
If they're both asexual, that's their thing and physical intimacy does not strictly require sex as they could still sleep together as I mentioned before.
Trauma-healing is exactly part of the character building I mentioned. Trusting one person to be with you and allowing yourself to be healed by them is a big part of love in general.

And with that, I respectfully disagree. Relationships without any physical desire are relationships imagined by shut-ins and antisocial people, therefore making them unrealistic.

 

[AliceShiki]

Minors cannot have a realistic relationship.

That's just silly. What's not realistic about teenagers being in love and entering a relationship with the person that they fell in love with?

Sure, they aren't calm and mature people, nor are they people who can seriously consider marriage or anything similar, but their relationship is absolutely realistic.

LDR's are not realistic relationships.

As someone who...

• is on her 3rd LDR,
• who has 2 friends who got together by getting to know each other online (and had the first 6 or so months of their dating as purely online) and are still together to this day,
• Who knows someone that is currently living together with their significant other, and that stayed 2 years in a LDR with them.
• Who knows another person who recently got married to someone that they dated for over a year in a LDR...

I disagree.

If you can't show yourself to anyone, not even the person you love and trust above all others, I'd say you don't love them at all.

You don't know anything about self-image issues it seems. There is a big difference between loving someone and being able to show yourselves to them.

When simply seeing yourself on the mirror makes you cry, you can bet that you won't want to show yourself to anyone ever.

If they're both asexual, that's their thing and physical intimacy does not strictly require sex as they could still sleep together as I mentioned before.

I'm not the one who said that you need sex for having a realistic relationship, you were. *shrugs*

Trauma-healing is exactly part of the character building I mentioned. Trusting one person to be with you and allowing yourself to be healed by them is a big part of love in general.

Love alone doesn't heal traumas. Often times, nothing heals traumas.

You think every kid that was thrown in an orphanage due to abusive parents, and that gets adopted by a loving family later on, ends up recovering from their traumas? They don't. Some do, of course, not all... And definitely not just from loving parents, but also from a huge network of professionals that are trying to aid the child's recovery, or to help them deal with the trauma and reduce its impact on the kid's day to day life.

The same holds true for any kind of trauma. Love healing is cute, but it's not close to enough, and it doesn't always work. Some things you can overcome, others you just do your best to learn how to deal with so as to not have it have a considerable impact on your day to day life.

And with that, I respectfully disagree. Relationships without any physical desire are relationships imagined by shut-ins and antisocial people, therefore making them unrealistic.

Not everyone has the desire for the physical aspect of a relationship. And even if they do, not everyone is capable of going through with the physical aspect, due to their own internal reasons.

Also, here is some interesting bit of trivia for you:

A sexless marriage is a marital union in which little or no sexual activity occurs between the two spouses. The US National Health and Social Life Survey in 1992 found that 2% of the married respondents (aged 18 to 59) reported no sexual intimacy in the past year.[1] The definition of a non-sexual marriage is often broadened to include those where sexual intimacy occurs fewer than ten times per year, in which case 20 percent of the couples in the National Health and Social Life Survey would be in the category. Other studies show that 10% or less of the married population below age 50 have not had sex in the past year. In addition less than 20% report having sex a few times per year, or even monthly, under the age 40.

What you deem as "imagined by shut-ins and antisocial people" is a somewhat common phenomenon on married couples.

You can have your own opinions on what is right or wrong in a relationship... But calling "everything that I don't deem 'normal' is unrealistic" like you're doing is just silly... Especially because you somehow seem to think that minors can't have a realistic relationship.

 

[LordJoyde]

That's just silly. What's not realistic about teenagers being in love and entering a relationship with the person that they fell in love with?

Sure, they aren't calm and mature people, nor are they people who can seriously consider marriage or anything similar, but their relationship is absolutely realistic.

As someone who...

• is on her 3rd LDR,
• who has 2 friends who got together by getting to know each other online (and had the first 6 or so months of their dating as purely online) and are still together to this day,
• Who knows someone that is currently living together with their significant other, and that stayed 2 years in a LDR with them.
• Who knows another person who recently got married to someone that they dated for over a year in a LDR...

I disagree.

You don't know anything about self-image issues it seems. There is a big difference between loving someone and being able to show yourselves to them.

When simply seeing yourself on the mirror makes you cry, you can bet that you won't want to show yourself to anyone ever.

I'm not the one who said that you need sex for having a realistic relationship, you were. *shrugs*

Love alone doesn't heal traumas. Often times, nothing heals traumas.

You think every kid that was thrown in an orphanage due to abusive parents, and that gets adopted by a loving family later on, ends up recovering from their traumas? They don't. Some do, of course, not all... And definitely not just from loving parents, but also from a huge network of professionals that are trying to aid the child's recovery, or to help them deal with the trauma and reduce its impact on the kid's day to day life.

The same holds true for any kind of trauma. Love healing is cute, but it's not close to enough, and it doesn't always work. Some things you can overcome, others you just do your best to learn how to deal with so as to not have it have a considerable impact on your day to day life.

Not everyone has the desire for the physical aspect of a relationship. And even if they do, not everyone is capable of going through with the physical aspect, due to their own internal reasons.

Also, here is some interesting bit of trivia for you:

What you deem as "imagined by shut-ins and antisocial people" is a somewhat common phenomenon on married couples.

You can have your own opinions on what is right or wrong in a relationship... But calling "everything that I don't deem 'normal' is unrealistic" like you're doing is just silly... Especially because you somehow seem to think that minors can't have a realistic relationship.

As for the minors, perhaps I was being too extreme by saying that they can't have realistic relationships outright because that made it seem like teenagers can't fall for one another which is not the case. They can, but I do not see minors as capable of being rational about these things, therefore such things are not realistic. Or maybe I should quit using the world 'realistic'. It implies that a relationship like this cannot happen, which is untrue and not what I mean.

Hmm. Lets say its simply a relationship which I don't ever see working out for any greater length of time, for now, since I don't have a better word for it.
--
LDR's are unrealistic. Not knowing the person in person means that you simply cannot be sure of who they truly are. I wish your friends and you happiness in those endeavors, but personally also believe that they got really lucky. By marrying, I'll assume that means they met, therefore they are no longer in a LDR and their relationship has become regular and plausible.
--
No, I do not.
That sounds like general depression to me. In my experience, its always been about intrusive thoughts, random social anxiety and, of course, attempted suicides or just playing dead to see what happens and how people would react. Never had an issue with seeing myself in the mirror so that entire complex is utterly alien to me.
But you're right and I'll concede to this. However, "When simply seeing yourself on the mirror makes you cry, you can bet that you won't want to show yourself to anyone ever." this strikes me as incredibly selfish. Personally, if my partner was afflicted with this, I'd do my best to try and make them heal this in any way I can.
There is also a saying which I believe applies here: if you can't even love yourself, you can't love anyone else.
--
I did, yeah. But you were the one who decided to involve minors/asexuals and others into the conversation for... some reason? Come to think of it, you aren't even the person I was originally replying to.
--
Love is the key to healing all trauma. If that is the general feeling of being loved or the help you get from other people, that's where it begins. There's a reason why you've got to let yourself be healed before you can heal. As for the children at the orphanage, a very simple answer to that would be that not everyone has someone and cruel as that may be, it also has nothing to do with our conversation.

And I'm sorry but this whole spiel about love healing being cute but not enough just reeks of selfishness and self-imposed negativity bias. I'll offer no further comment on it so assume yourself of being in the right.
--
Calling 2% a 'common' phenomenon of something is outright ridiculous. It means that the other 98% do not fit the criteria and you are just cherry picking. Plus, this is in the United States only. The world is not the US.

Come now, when did I say anything like that? Aren't you just putting words into my mouth now?

 

[Zirrboy]

I'm in somewhat of a dilemma here: Should I criticize the use of reactions as means of mocking another's arguments or apply this myself?

 

[LilTV1155]

Rather than being arrogant, more like how much confidence did you all just lose or gain like weights in here over time?

 

[Toripuru-S]

not sure how arrogant I was about it (I try to be humble, mostly ) but I assumed I could get by with weak grammar and that certain narrative beats were always 100% perfect and never needed fixing.

I changed my tune as it went on , and whenever I went back to compare the editing level of my new chapters vs. old chapters, I would see it with my own eyes that "yep, I need to go back and clean up some stuff " and proceed to do so. I've never done anything as drastic as effectively remaking the story, but I'm willing to recognize my faults and fix what I can fix, and keep getting better.

Rather than being arrogant, more like how much confidence did you all just lose or gain like weights in here over time?

I'd say I gained a lot of confidence here . I'm very pleased with my total Chapter views, and appreciate it that anyone has taken the time to read what I'm up to .

 

[Armorien]

Not at all lmao, I have zero faith in my work succeeding. Though it's natural given that I still have a long way to improve.

 

[bigbear51]

If anything, I've probably only gotten more arrogant because of how whiny some people around here can get.

 

[Habtamu]

just a little.

 

[unknownking]

to be honest I was pretty arrogant when I started writing since the writing quality of the book which I was reading at the time wasn't really that great. The writer uploaded like crazy 5k words each day. So I gave it a try and it took quite a while till I got someone that actually read more than one chapter of my novel XD.

 

[Ilikewaterkusa]

Well, on August 2019, I saw a dream, and that was such an amazing one, I wanted to write it. So, I wrote about it on word and when it was completed, I posted it here chapter by chapter.
I was so arrogant that I didn't even write a synopsis. I just wrote that it is written by me and that it's not for kids. And, well. I was really expecting people to get intimidated by my confidence like they show in movies. The dream of making millions was almost within my reach, till I decided one day to read my work and got cringed so hard I deleted the hell out of it. I still want to write it but romance is more difficult than I thought.
And, well, please tell me I am not alone...

No.

 

[Agentt]

No.

No, as in I am not alone?

 

[Kenjona]

I am as arrogant as I ever was.

 

[Katsuya]

Omg, lets not even start with that. I was arrogant as hell! I looked at some stories. 'Heh, only 100k(views)?' Boom, i write. I was happy getting 200 views cause i thought it was readers at first cause this other i was using(inkitt) didn't have 'views' so yeah. anyways, even to this day..... I still don't 100k views.... super lol. but, i don't think im that arrogant anymore. It was my first time really writing online especially on a site that actually has readers so yeah, don't blame me.

 

[2021]

0% baby, I know my writing is b+, and I’m not humble, but I aint d*ck who thought I’m the best writer ever. Might have been good on RR but here it’s all about the

 

[Squirrel]

Well, on August 2019, I saw a dream, and that was such an amazing one, I wanted to write it. So, I wrote about it on word and when it was completed, I posted it here chapter by chapter.
I was so arrogant that I didn't even write a synopsis. I just wrote that it is written by me and that it's not for kids. And, well. I was really expecting people to get intimidated by my confidence like they show in movies. The dream of making millions was almost within my reach, till I decided one day to read my work and got cringed so hard I deleted the hell out of it. I still want to write it but romance is more difficult than I thought.
And, well, please tell me I am not alone...

Arrogant and me? Nah, I was hell lot nervous.
Seems like I am of different species.