How do girls feel about Harems for guys?

Sylverius

Old name: Sylphias
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That is a preferred outcome. But in the beginning, all relationships not only can but should have rocky situations - you are dealing with two recent strangers deciding to be together from now on. Even though both want it - both still have their own characters and personal desires that might and most commonly will come at odds with each other.

Think of a family - especially relationships between parents and children - even if they were harmonious there are issues popping up because children develop personalities and during that development come at odds with the established personalities of their parents.

a truly harmonious relationship will have arguments and bickering - what actually makes it harmonious is when the pair don't try to win an argument against their spouse but overcome the challenge together. On the other side, a relationship without any issues is usually a relationship without love or emotions since they don't care enough to initiate arguments or stand their ground.
Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I thought that if they were childhood friends, it'd just be like reading the back of their hands if they want to know what their partner wants.

I barely have any love experience (if any at all) so thanks for enlightening me.
 

Snusmumriken

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Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I thought that if they were childhood friends, it'd just be like reading the back of their hands if they want to know what their partner wants.

I barely have any love experience (if any at all) so thanks for enlightening me.
You would be surprised how much you don't know about someone until you move it together.

just because they can easily read each other, something as simple as dishwashing routine can ignite an argument when for example one is used to wash the dishes as soon as the meal is done while the other fills up the dishwasher until it's full. They might realise that the other is upset but have no freaking idea about why, until they talk to each other.

and it's not like one is obviously lazy either - just different priorities: one strives for cleanliness while the other goes for water efficiency.
 

Sylverius

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You would be surprised how much you don't know about someone until you move it together.

just because they can easily read each other, something as simple as dishwashing routine can ignite an argument when for example one is used to wash the dishes as soon as the meal is done while the other fills up the dishwasher until it's full. They might realise that the other is upset but have no freaking idea about why, until they talk to each other.

and it's not like one is obviously lazy either - just different priorities: one strives for cleanliness while the other goes for water efficiency.
That gave me some more insights I need to think about. Luckily, I'm in a hiatus moment so I at least have a bunch of time to think about it.
 

compass96

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I despise harems. They are often a male power fantasy that reduce women into bodies and characteristics. That tag almost always promises me that the women in the story are going to be underdeveloped lackies who always support the mc and never challenge them in their decisions. Even though theoretically harems could be interesting female representation since the women outnumber the men, this never happens because many men don't know how to write women. Harem writers are often uninterested in actually describing the mindset of the women in these relationships as well as the negotiations that have to occur for these relationships to work. It also doesn't help that they always portray women in harems as always willing to share their husbands/boyfriends/partners without any conflict, discussion or disquietness in order to enhance the fantasy. This ends up shortchanging the story and making it unrealistic as these women never take time to think about what a life sharing their partner with other people will be like and instantly accept whatever person their partner brings out of nowhere. In order words, harems are full of Cool Girl TM. Finally, the fact that polygamy (technically polygyny) has historically almost always been to the detriment of women contributes to my disgust for harems.

However, I am actually alright with polyamory and throuples specifically. I don't mind as much if more than 2 people fell in love with each other. I'm also happy with open relationships, polycules etc. This is because I feel harem differ significantly from polyamory. Polyamory requires work, attention and should ideally be accepted by all participants in the relationships. Also, writers who explicitly tag polyamory are often more likely to write about polyamorous relationship negotations. It doesn't have to be a long section but at least the characters actually discuss what is happening and how things will continue from that point onwards.

Anyway, tldr: Harems no, polyamory yes.
 

Sylverius

Old name: Sylphias
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I despise harems. They are often a male power fantasy that reduce women into bodies and characteristics. That tag almost always promises me that the women in the story are going to be underdeveloped lackies who always support the mc and never challenge them in their decisions. Even though theoretically harems could be interesting female representation since the women outnumber the men, this never happens because many men don't know how to write women. Harem writers are often uninterested in actually describing the mindset of the women in these relationships as well as the negotiations that have to occur for these relationships to work. It also doesn't help that they always portray women in harems as always willing to share their husbands/boyfriends/partners without any conflict, discussion or disquietness in order to enhance the fantasy. This ends up shortchanging the story and making it unrealistic as these women never take time to think about what a life sharing their partner with other people will be like and instantly accept whatever person their partner brings out of nowhere. In order words, harems are full of Cool Girl TM. Finally, the fact that polygamy (technically polygyny) has historically almost always been to the detriment of women contributes to my disgust for harems.

However, I am actually alright with polyamory and throuples specifically. I don't mind as much if more than 2 people fell in love with each other. I'm also happy with open relationships, polycules etc. This is because I feel harem differ significantly from polyamory. Polyamory requires work, attention and should ideally be accepted by all participants in the relationships. Also, writers who explicitly tag polyamory are often more likely to write about polyamorous relationship negotations. It doesn't have to be a long section but at least the characters actually discuss what is happening and how things will continue from that point onwards.

Anyway, tldr: Harems no, polyamory yes.
Yep, you said almost the exact same thing as my family and many people here.

But yes, that's what I also dislike from harems, the fact that they're just collectibles and just pure fanservice without any relevance at all, as a person who supports gender equity, I DO NOT STAND FOR THIS.

Although, if I were to make a harem (which I still haven't decided on yet), I would give them actual personalities that make them seem like real characters instead of just being pure fanservice.
 

RavenWolf

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I despise harems. They are often a male power fantasy that reduce women into bodies and characteristics. That tag almost always promises me that the women in the story are going to be underdeveloped lackies who always support the mc and never challenge them in their decisions. Even though theoretically harems could be interesting female representation since the women outnumber the men, this never happens because many men don't know how to write women. Harem writers are often uninterested in actually describing the mindset of the women in these relationships as well as the negotiations that have to occur for these relationships to work. It also doesn't help that they always portray women in harems as always willing to share their husbands/boyfriends/partners without any conflict, discussion or disquietness in order to enhance the fantasy. This ends up shortchanging the story and making it unrealistic as these women never take time to think about what a life sharing their partner with other people will be like and instantly accept whatever person their partner brings out of nowhere. In order words, harems are full of Cool Girl TM. Finally, the fact that polygamy (technically polygyny) has historically almost always been to the detriment of women contributes to my disgust for harems.

However, I am actually alright with polyamory and throuples specifically. I don't mind as much if more than 2 people fell in love with each other. I'm also happy with open relationships, polycules etc. This is because I feel harem differ significantly from polyamory. Polyamory requires work, attention and should ideally be accepted by all participants in the relationships. Also, writers who explicitly tag polyamory are often more likely to write about polyamorous relationship negotations. It doesn't have to be a long section but at least the characters actually discuss what is happening and how things will continue from that point onwards.

Anyway, tldr: Harems no, polyamory yes.
Well aren't you luck today. In this season there is anime Kanojo mo Kanojo ~ Girlfriend, Girlfriend airing which I have to say is way better polyamory/(harem?) presentation in anime than in usually. Usually MC doesn't even understand that he is in harem. In this anime these girls really try to work things out and somehow even they feel to be more important characters in this anime than that male MC.

I Want to Date Both of You! | Girlfriend Girlfriend

A Three****?! | Girlfriend Girlfriend

You Totally Put It In! | Girlfriend, Girlfriend
 

BenJepheneT

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There is more men in here than women, now that I'm lurking at the thread.

Safe to say, OP's asking what the lowest demographic who aren't well-versed with the genre on what they think of it.

But the answers are still juicy as hell so that isn't a loss at all.
 

Armored99

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CadmarLegend

@Agentt found a key in the skeletons.
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Well aren't you luck today. In this season there is anime Kanojo mo Kanojo ~ Girlfriend, Girlfriend airing which I have to say is way better polyamory/(harem?) presentation in anime than in usually. Usually MC doesn't even understand that he is in harem. In this anime these girls really try to work things out and somehow even they feel to be more important characters in this anime than that male MC.

I Want to Date Both of You! | Girlfriend Girlfriend

A Three****?! | Girlfriend Girlfriend

You Totally Put It In! | Girlfriend, Girlfriend
That last line...
 

TheUnsaid

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They are often a male power fantasy that reduce women into bodies and characteristics. That tag almost always promises me that the women in the story are going to be underdeveloped lackies who always support the mc and never challenge them in their decisions.
Saying this as a guy. In my experience is the exact opposite.
In Harems the girls get all the focus and are way more developed, and interesting than any other characters.

In Mato Seihei No Slave, a harem shounen, the girls have tons of personality traits move the plot and are key to the narrative while kicking all of the ass, while in Naruto the girls are literally nothing burger characters that can be removed and nothing would change.

In We Can't Study, and GoToubun the girls all have these problems that have to be faced, and takes a lot of emotional work on the part of the male lead to get into their heads. In regular romance like Peach Girl it's just about thirst and drama.
 
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ItsFrog

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I know for fact an 13 year old girl was reading my harem stories. Shes like 15 or 16 now and shes the biggest fucking pervert. One of her greatest wishes is to have a futa cock so she can fuck milfs.

And she's even talked in discord before, so we do know she's a girl. Damn kid. @ohmyriley get over here
Oh shit, I’ve been called out! Heh. One of my greatest wishes is indeed to dick down a smexy milfy babe. It’ll happen goddamnit. Probably...
Ahem, anyways ignore the fact this is an ultra late reply. Didn’t see it until now after all.
 
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Sylverius

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Oh shit, I’ve been called out! Heh. One of my greatest wishes is indeed to dick down a smexy milfy babe. It’ll happen goddamnit. Probably...
Ahem, anyways ignore the fact this is an ultra late reply. Didn’t see it until now after all.
Hey, no one can disprove whether isekai's real or not. Not just that, but if a God talks to you, you now know that your dreams can be a reality now. Don't suicide though, just wait for your turn instead.

Saying this as a guy. In my experience is the exact opposite.
In Harems the girls get all the focus and are way more developed, and interesting than any other characters.

In Mato Seihei No Slave, a harem shounen, the girls have tons of personality traits move the plot and are key to the narrative while kicking all of the ass, while in Naruto the girls are literally nothing burger characters that can be removed and nothing would change.

In We Can't Study, and GoToubun the girls all have these problems that have to be faced, and takes a lot of emotional work on the part of the male lead to get into their heads. In regular romance like Peach Girl it's just about thirst and drama.
Ah yes, GoToubun no hanayome... I plan on watching that in the future at least (help I'm being held captive until I watch it)
But yes, I've seen a bunch of harems wherein the female characters are nothing but fanservice, and it's annoying to think that THERE IS NO EQUITY BETWEEN THE GIRLS AND BOYS.

I BELIEVE IN TRUE GENDER EQUITY.
Hey, all opinions are open, so long as they aren't stupid.

There is more men in here than women, now that I'm lurking at the thread.

Safe to say, OP's asking what the lowest demographic who aren't well-versed with the genre on what they think of it.

But the answers are still juicy as hell so that isn't a loss at all.
So long as I can help even the future members of SH, then I'll do what I can.

Even if the help is this juicy ass thread ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
 

TheUnsaid

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I've seen a bunch of harems wherein the female characters are nothing but fanservice,
Can you give an example? I don't go looking, but whenever I come across harems the girls are always likeable and interesting characters that are more than just "an attractive woman."
 

EternalSunset0

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Can you give an example? I don't go looking, but whenever I come across harems the girls are always likeable and interesting characters that are more than just "an attractive woman."
In anime, it's probably referring to the many women with one-and-done arcs. They get their focus arc, then fade into the background as another companion/harem member.

But I feel that disqualifies them since they still got their shine, even if it's just one arc. It still counts.

I guess it depends on which way you look at it.
 
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Sylverius

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In anime, it's probably referring to the many women with one-and-done arcs. They get their focus arc, then fade into the background as another companion/harem member.

But I feel that disqualifies them since they still got their shine, even if it's just one arc. It still counts.

I guess it depends on which way you look at it.
True.

I love stories such as AoT (only up to season 3), Steins;gate, and HxH. They all have one thing in common, that their characters have relevance. I don't really like one-and-done arcs, and I feel that if you're going to introduce a character, I feel that they should have impacts or importance to other characters or the world around them.

I'm alright with the fanservice, but please give them actual stories that are good and were hinted at their introduction or later but not too late.
 

EternalSunset0

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I don't really like one-and-done arcs, and I feel that if you're going to introduce a character, I feel that they should have impacts or importance to other characters or the world around them.
To be fair, when I was defending women with one-and-done arcs, I mostly meant that while they may not be that important later on, they did their job, so it mostly disqualifies them from being "irrelevant" for me.

Probably first thing that comes to my mind is Liz from SAO. She often gets criticized for being a one-and-done character, but I feel that you can't call her an irrelevant character altogether because she had such an important role in her arc that led to the completion of the first story arc. Arguably, she's mostly useless in the succeeding arcs until the latter part of Alicization, but as a character, she's not "irrelevant" as confusing as it might sound.

That applies to a lot of harem heroines, too.

Could they have been done/written better? Sure. Are the women useless? Nope.
 

InfantryTerminator

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I know for fact an 13 year old girl was reading my harem stories. Shes like 15 or 16 now and shes the biggest fucking pervert. One of her greatest wishes is to have a futa cock so she can fuck milfs.

And she's even talked in discord before, so we do know she's a girl. Damn kid. @ohmyriley get over here
That's barely above the average. I was into dominating and hardcore when I was 14, now even the decapitation tag on pixiv is fine with me.

Now imagine me, a guy who can fap to animation of anime girl being sawed in half, still being able to find something he can call f*cked up. There are people who make Lovecraftian pantheon tremble in their cosmic boots, and Pixiv is what Darknet tries to be
 
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