How do you say...?

[Anti-Jarron7]

There's this girl in my novel who likes to smoke and is quite the delinquent. And while I was writing one of her inner monologues I wanted her to convey her desire to smoke a bit because of boredom. But I don't know whether the way I was going to write it was correct or I'm just writing strange things.

Is the phrase: "-*Sigh*- I really want to take a smoke now..." correct?
Or am I maybe saying that she wants to ride a cloud of smoke?

Help me, please (;-_-)ノ

 

[Cipiteca396]

'I could use a smoke/cig...'
Maybe.

Yours feels a little too formal. Just drop the 'to take'. It technically works, but it's robotic.

 

[longer]

"Fuck, I need a smoke." or something like that could work.

The important rule is to make it very casual, since she's a delinquent. And have the line convey some sense of urgency. Like when I want a drink, I don't go "hmm yes, a bottle of liquor is very suitable in this situation." Additionally, do not make it something poetic like wanting to ride a cloud of smoke. Unless you hear it first hand from someone who smokes avoid the poetic shit. It just sounds stupid and makes you sound out of touch. Like 45 year old advertising executives attempting to use memes to sell their products.

 

[CupcakeNinja]

'I could use a smoke/cig...'
Maybe.

Yours feels a little too formal. Just drop the 'to take'. It technically works, but it's robotic.

i dunno, when i wrote a similar thing for my MC i just said, "My hands itched for a smoke. The motions of lighting and holding one were as addictive as the nicotine itself, somehow. And right now, I could really go for one" Or something. I think that's the exact quote, actually. Anyway, i think something like that would work.
Most heavy smokers I've known are equally addicted to just holding a cigarette as they are smoking one. Its almost like a nervous tic sometimes. Your fingers just has this unease about them. Like you need to flex them, like you cant keep them still unless you're reaching for a smoke.

 

[BearlyAlive]

'I'm bored, time for a cig, I guess'

Make it casual and seem unimportant unless you want to focus on the act of smoking instead of her smoking.

 

[K5Rakitan]

It's an urge. Think of it like an itch, like being hungry, being horny, having to poop, having to push your fetus out when your cervix is fully dilated, needing to suck on Mom's nipple, or any other urge.

Husband used to smoke, and he says: You don't smoke because of boredom, that's not a thing, but you can use smoking to pass the time. It's more like a craving hits, and "Fuck, I need a cigarette" is more authentic. Otherwise, I don't know how to embellish it with inner dialogue. Sometimes, you might pat your pockets and think about the pack of cigarettes in your pocket and just pull it out and light up.