Writing How do you write romance?

[Wretch]

Hi I'm an amateur at writing romance as I have never actually written it before. I get worried that my writing of it is really awkward and I don't want to fall into any tropes. Idk if there are any specific things you should watch out for or things that can spice it up. Its BL so, I also don't want to make the uke into a girl. If you wanna read and give me an idea of how I'm going Jun Wang Fancies Me.
Yeah, so any advice is helpful.

 

[AliceShiki]

Well, the first advice I can give you, is to read this article from TVTropes, it will really help you in the "don't want to fall into any tropes" thing. It really helped me when I started to want to get into writing.

As for other tips... Hmmmmm... Well, I think the main and most important part about writing romance, is that you need to remember you have 2 characters. It's not the MC and their love interest, there isn't one person that dictates what the relationship is and the other that is dragged along. Both parts of the equation are equally important and have an equal say on how the relationship develops.

I am aware that power dynamics tend to play heavily into BL works, but just because there is a power dynamic involved, it doesn't mean the weaker part has no say in it.

Just remember that both characters are equally important and both must be well developed and feel real in order to make a good romance. You don't need to give each of them an equal amount of focus, but you should definitely not neglect developing one character and focus the entirety of the personality and growth in the other.

Putting it simply, if you feel like you're doing one of the commonly seen shoujo love interests (Perfect guy or Really rude and scary guy, but that has a soft spot for the MC and only the MC), you're probably doing something wrong. Make sure your characters are more complex than something that can be described in 2 words or a small sentence.

 

[bananapink]

I dunno if this is going to help...you should write when you are happy. Hehe... imagine how do you want their story to be. Draft it out then you add scenes, (ex. what kind of meeting/interaction they would have) also try to convey the characters' thoughts and feelings as to how, why they fancy the other. Think of scenarios that will foster affection but make it as natural as possible, sometimes simple gestures are most effective. Put them in a situation that will strengthen their bond. Phew... I have a few more to add but my memory won't cooperate aish!!! Hope this helps :)

 

[Wretch]

Okay both of you @AliceShiki and @bananapink thanks for the advice! I'm a very awkward person so all my characters end up pretty awkward, hence so does my romance. Any and all advice is totally welcome. I don't want their to be any nonconsensual stuff, and I want it to be wholesome and sweet because I'm done with rapey/yandere semes that are one-dimensional. I want it to be realistic and not encourage those ideas that people are allowed to be treated like trash.
Forgive for ranting I'm on a sugar high right now and its late. (:v)

 

[ThunderingSnow]

Give them realistic goals and passions that they can both appreciate

 

[TLCsDestiny]

Connections.
Their has to be a gap filler type of connection between the 2 characters.
Unnoticeable noticing, as in char A didn't realize he/she already knew char B would act or do that, but they did.
Stares, reasons of interest (as in, 'i like how he/she is mature' because he/she is used to immaturity (or something like that).
Shy, bashful, blushing, scared, excited and most of all...Happiness.
I believe in the concept of if you truly love someone, you want them to be happy.
Stuff like that...

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

My advice would be reading, reading literature and digest what the established canon does. And I wouldn't be too worried about falling into any tropes, that is just fear mongering. There is a reason that these things are considered tropes and in fact are widely used, they offer opportunities. Unfortunately, the majority of authors aren't just good enough to make them shine and bring out their potential.

 

[UltraRob]

The above poster is right. Tropes are tropes because people like them, that's why they've stuck around so long. Don't fall into the originality trap and think that anything that follows standard tropes somehow bad. Tropes are neither good nor bad, they are just things that pop up more than once in different stories. For example, the entire romance novel industry is based on the same tropes being used over and over again, and if you don't use them the audience will hate your story because the tropes are the reason they're reading those stories in the first place!

The key is to use the tropes but come up with your own original spin or little twist on those tropes. That's what the audience really wants.

 

[Owl]

If you're scared of your uke being a girl, then just remember: It's a guy. Write him as one. Just because your couple is two guys doesn't mean that one of them has to be 'girly'. You don't need the cliche weak uke for the couple to be nice :) I, for example, often write my bottoms as powerful - sometimes stronger than the top, because it's fun. You write your character who happens to be a bottom, you don't have a bottom that you give a character to. Just focus on writing him as he is rather than trying to focus on his "qualities as a bottom"
If you want to, you can take a look at my Dating SystemStory - I often got comments that it's realistic enough, and it has a cutely awkward couple :)

 

[Wretch]

I really appreciate all the feedback I am getting here, and it helps a lot! So thanks @ThunderingSnow @TLCsDestiny @Assurbanipal_II @UltraRob @Owl! (ﾉ´ з `)ノ
I think maybe I wasn't clear and that has caused a bit of misunderstanding, haha. (･Θ･) When I said "dont want to fall into any tropes" I used a blanket statement and that was a mistake. It's not that I think all tropes are bad, but I dont want to fall into any of the tropes that promote violent and abusive themes... I guess what I was trying to say was that I just want to write a wholesome love story that shows more giving than taking. I know that many BL stories can end up on the darker side, and I find that saddening and a bit maddening. I dont want to end up writing pointless angst that ends up in tragedy.

 

[Yorda]

Ehem. A wise French master once told me,

"You must use your characters' weaknesses to draw in the other party. Lovers can be strong willed with plenty of personality, but intimacy can be built upon their weaknesses. When one character simply cannot go on and falls into desperation another can compliment and console them making up for their weakness. This draws people together, the support that they give each other. Their misunderstandings and resistance to intimacy is what gives rise to a dramatic romance filled with struggle."

That was my translation to English.

Now then, their exact words were,

"Sorry about that i can try but don't take me seriously because I never really had a relationship. "
"When the MC understand his/her weakness and finding someone good enough to take care of them. The best part went i read romance is went the character fall in love not for the strengh of the other but there weakness even more went they think that it cute"

You understand! Yes! Good Yes. Good.

In theory, there are also other avenues to love other than using weakness, but they won't be warm and tender loves.

*You could have situational lovers.
These lovers have been forced together by their circumstances. Two examples I can think of are, they were engaged by their parents or they are faking a relationship for profit.

*You could have pragmatic lovers.
These lovers don't believe in any kind of emotional nature towards love. Love is mechanical and explainable, but that's fine by them. They simply have things that they obtain from each other in a mutual relationship. Examining/researching love as a science rather than an art might help you obtain much more objective knowledge on love and help you generate ideas. I will explain with examples.

Mechanically, love has nothing to do with emotions. Love is about 'time' and 'effort' given on behalf of the loved object of affection. Love is not emotional, it is about the 'consideration' given to another with their best interests in mind. Love is about trust built on clear reasons, not blind faith without rationale. To trust someone you need to understand why they act the way they do and understand why they will not betray.

*You could have perverse loves out of desire.
Alright, there are the yanderes, but what about jealousy in general? The lover could be physically attracted to their partner obsessively. Or maybe it's something that their lover has. These perverse lovers are generally a little confused, scummy, or selfish. Their loves can be one-sided.

*You could have unrequited love.
Sorta like parental love at times. This is a very sad type of love filled with heartache as only one party is in the relationship.

*You could have love out of admiration.
The lovers could be rivals or high profile individuals.

*You could have forbidden love.

*You could have lovers that cannot be together.
Romeo and Juliet.

With all of these loves you simply have to figure out a way to force contact between your characters as an author. Then you have to abuse some avenue of love to develop their feelings for each other. I personally think I will use events outside my characters control to develop romance by forcing them to interact. You can always bring characters together, but before you will get romance you need to clearly figure out what will spark their intimate connection into existence. The characters fundamentally need to have the potential to develop their romance for whatever reason. The reason why they could fall in love will likely be a major focus of your story.

Love and relationships often get messy, which makes them very interesting when people screw up and screw each other with betrayal. So your romance might not be perfect, and that makes it much better and genuine!

One person told me that romances are always unique. I would like to add to that and say that circumstances are what draw people together. From the viewpoint of the character ask yourself, "Why am I in love with XXX? How did this happen over time? There are plenty of other people that I like, find attractive, and could have developed a relationship with as an alternative to XXX. Why did these special feelings develop for only them alone?" People are complex and explaining their mental illnesses is even more complex.

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

Give me somemore time. Still working on editing this post.

Ehem. A wise French master once told me,

"You must use your characters' weaknesses to draw in the other party. Lovers can be strong willed with plenty of personality, but intimacy can be built upon their weaknesses. When one character simply cannot go on and falls into desperation another can compliment and console them making up for their weakness. This draws people together, the support that they give each other. Their misunderstandings and resistance to intimacy is what gives rise to a dramatic romance filled with struggle."

That was my translation to English.

Now then, their exact words were,

"Sorry about that i can try but don't take me seriously because I never really had a relationship. "
"When the MC understand his/her weakness and finding someone good enough to take care of them. The best part went i read romance is went the character fall in love not for the strengh of the other but there weakness even more went they think that it cute"

You understand! Yes! Good Yes. Good.

In theory, there are also other avenues to love other than using weakness, but they won't be warm and tender loves.

You could have situational lovers.
These lovers have been forced together by their circumstances. They were engaged by their parents, they are faking a relationship for profit, and other

You could have pragmatic lovers.
These lovers don't believe in any kind of emotional nature towards love. They simply have

You could have perverse loves out of desire.

You could have love out of admiration.

You could have forbidden love.

You could have lovers that cannot be together.
Romeo and Juliet.

With all of these loves you simply have to figure out a way to force contact between your characters as an author. Then you have to abuse some avenue of love to develop their feelings for each other. I personally think I will use events outside my characters control to develop romance by forcing them to interact. You can always bring characters together, but before you will get romance you need to clearly figure out what will spark their intimate connection into existence. The characters fundamentally need to have the potential to develop their romance for whatever reason. The reason why they could fall in love will likely be a major focus of your story.

Mutual love is highly overrated. If you want, then you can also make a Yandere character with an unrequited and strong one-sided love.

 

[Wretch]

@Yorda Haha, you have made me really consider the reasons behind love right there. I think that love is not only a form of respect, but also a give and take relationship so my story will probably have a lot of this as a theme.
@Assurbanipal_II Hm... I really hate yanderes so, I dont think my story will have this. One sided love doesn't necessarily have to derange someone, but I can see why you would point out that love can be a selfish feeling.

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

@Yorda Haha, you have made me really consider the reasons behind love right there. I think that love is not only a form of respect, but also a give and take relationship so my story will probably have a lot of this as a theme.
@Assurbanipal_II Hm... I really hate yanderes so, I dont think my story will have this. One sided love doesn't necessarily have to derange someone, but I can see why you would point out that love can be a selfish feeling.

That was just an example of what can be done. Of course I don't know what you are actually writing, but there many different forms of one-sided love that not necessarily with yandere, albeit obsession is an essential trait. I would cite in this case Lolita, death in Venice, or even the Great Gatsby

 

[Wretch]

That was just an example of what can be done. Of course I don't know what you are actually writing, but there many different forms of one-sided love that not necessarily with yandere, albeit obsession is an essential trait. I would cite in this case Lolita, death in Venice, or even the Great Gatsby

Yeah, I'm not shooting down your ideas as bad, I just don't prefer them in the story I'm writing. It was initially conceptualized as fluff (though that's changed a bit) and humor since I had just finished reading (and writing) a bunch of angsty fics... So it doesn't necessarily fit the genre I'm going for.

 

[HURGMCGURG]

Love is complicated. It can be sudden, where you find yourself in love as you meet them, a romantic relationship in which they spend every second learning about each other and growing deeper in love. It can be slow, in which they don't even realize they're in love with each other until that moment when it just clicks. It can grow, in which they start as friends, but as they see each other more they find themselves closer than just friends.

What goes on in the relationship is just as important: How do they see each other as people? How do they communicate? What do they like to talk about? Common interests? Common activities? What do they each want to get out of their relationship? (They don't have to be sure of what they want.) How do they comfort each other? How thoughtful are they? What are some of the flaws of their relationship? Are they completely satisfied while together, or do they find themselves wanting more? How jealous or possessive are the characters? (Being possessive of someone does not necessarily mean you love them.) Do they hide their feelings from each other in order to not worry the other or do they share everything?

Relationship flaws are just as important as its virtues, as the flaws can often be magnified by smaller things that snowball.

Writing one mostly depends on style. Do you want to go in depth with their feelings, interactions, or in some other fashion?

 

[Wretch]

Love is complicated. It can be sudden, where you find yourself in love as you meet them, a romantic relationship in which they spend every second learning about each other and growing deeper in love. It can be slow, in which they don't even realize they're in love with each other until that moment when it just clicks. It can grow, in which they start as friends, but as they see each other more they find themselves closer than just friends.

What goes on in the relationship is just as important: How do they see each other as people? How do they communicate? What do they like to talk about? Common interests? Common activities? What do they each want to get out of their relationship? (They don't have to be sure of what they want.) How do they comfort each other? How thoughtful are they? What are some of the flaws of their relationship? Are they completely satisfied while together, or do they find themselves wanting more? How jealous or possessive are the characters? (Being possessive of someone does not necessarily mean you love them.) Do they hide their feelings from each other in order to not worry the other or do they share everything?

Relationship flaws are just as important as its virtues, as the flaws can often be magnified by smaller things that snowball.

Writing one mostly depends on style. Do you want to go in depth with their feelings, interactions, or in some other fashion?

Wow, I didn't expect to get this much feedback, I'm blown away at what new ideas this is giving me. I love that you pointed out that flaws are just as important. Yes just keep it coming.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Saving this thread cause' it's too good not to pass up.

 

[Wretch]

Saving this thread cause' it's too good not to pass up.

Lol I chose the right topic I guess. I thought it would take ages to get feedback. But then again I'm new to forums in general, as I am a lurker...

 

[BenJepheneT]

Lol I chose the right topic I guess. I thought it would take ages to get feedback. But then again I'm new to forums in general, as I am a lurker...

All the same but instead of a Lurker, I occupy a less than desired position.