Nuuuu, I'm still farming a few messages....
As for the graphic part, my tolerance level is high. I watch Saw with making much fuss. As for the examples you've given. I think example #1 has a similar case in Dungeon Defence (not sure cuz I dropped that). Example #2 tolerable level would be just getting across the fact that the victim will get traumatize for the act. The deed itself need not to be so detail. Lastly, for example #3, you could go all gore on it. Violence and death is more acceptable in literature than traumatizing sexual/deviant acts. It would be preferable if you describe the scene more vividly than the characters' thoughts. On that note though, a psychopath's thought process can be pretty interesting as well.