How to write an insecure character

[Michuyu]

Hi! I've been writing a book called "I Wish I Was Pretty", and it's about an ugly girl and she's insecure about her looks.

However, I've had people say that she doesn't seem insecure, and rather normal >.< Ahhhh!

I am a pretty insecure person myself, so I thought it would be easy to write from that perspective. The issue is that mc is an extravert while I'm an introvert...

I was wondering if anyone has some tips as to how to better portray insecurity in an extravert? I'm writing in first person mc point of view, so any tips and tricks geared towards that perspective would help a whole lot!

Thank you!

 

[NotaNuffian]

Hi! I've been writing a book called "I Wish I Was Pretty", and it's about an ugly girl and she's insecure about her looks.

However, I've had people say that she doesn't seem insecure, and rather normal >.< Ahhhh!

I am a pretty insecure person myself, so I thought it would be easy to write from that perspective. The issue is that mc is an extravert while I'm an introvert...

I was wondering if anyone has some tips as to how to better portray insecurity in an extravert? I'm writing in first person mc point of view, so any tips and tricks geared towards that perspective would help a whole lot!

Thank you!

Have constant thought bubbles that dip to the negative, judge everything in silence, do small gestures of shifting away and alienation. React badly and scared with every reaction from her surrounding.

An insecured person has the tendency to be terrified of others' opinions, will fall back and not take the first step and hides in the background all the time in order not to get noticed.

 

[Pujimaki]

Um, Portray her as a jealous woman? Or make her timid?

 

[CupcakeNinja]

Hi! I've been writing a book called "I Wish I Was Pretty", and it's about an ugly girl and she's insecure about her looks.

However, I've had people say that she doesn't seem insecure, and rather normal >.< Ahhhh!

I am a pretty insecure person myself, so I thought it would be easy to write from that perspective. The issue is that mc is an extravert while I'm an introvert...

I was wondering if anyone has some tips as to how to better portray insecurity in an extravert? I'm writing in first person mc point of view, so any tips and tricks geared towards that perspective would help a whole lot!

Thank you!

If she is insecure but am extravert she has to try and be flashy. By way of wearing heavy makeup or outlandish clothes. She does this to either compensate for her bad looks or to distract from them. This is what would indicate her insecurity.

You can also show it.by.how she interacts with friends who may be prettier. Like she doesnt speak up enough and just goes with the flow. Or let's herself be interrupted during a conversation/ talked over.

Having her try to make herself valued by a group by doing things for them unasked or buying them things like paying for lunch would be another way. Itd show she is desperate for acceptance.

 

[PunishedKom]

Be insecure irl. Then just do that but in writing.

 

[Michuyu]

Have constant thought bubbles that dip to the negative, judge everything in silence, do small gestures of shifting away and alienation. React badly and scared with every reaction from her surrounding.

An insecured person has the tendency to be terrified of others' opinions, will fall back and not take the first step and hides in the background all the time in order not to get noticed.

Thank you *-* I'll note that!

 

[Michuyu]

Um, Portray her as a jealous woman? Or make her timid?

She is pretty jealous haha xD Thank you for your input!! ^^ <3 I'll definitely try to incorporate these things!

 

[Michuyu]

If she is insecure but am extravert she has to try and be flashy. By way of wearing heavy makeup or outlandish clothes. She does this to either compensate for her bad looks or to distract from them. This is what would indicate her insecurity.

You can also show it.by.how she interacts with friends who may be prettier. Like she doesnt speak up enough and just goes with the flow. Or let's herself be interrupted during a conversation/ talked over.

Having her try to make herself valued by a group by doing things for them unasked or buying them things like paying for lunch would be another way. Itd show she is desperate for acceptance.

These are really good ideas *-* I really resonate with the last part haha. Thank you for your feedback! <3

 

[Michuyu]

Be insecure irl. Then just do that but in writing.

Ahhhhhh. >.< I'm trying haha, but I guess I either am not as insecure as I thought, or I just can't capture the idea well enough with my writing. Thank you for your input though! I'm definitely gonna spend more time trying to understand my MC and try to portray her as best as I can!

 

[Deleted member 29316]

If you're writing an insecure and extrovert character, the first thing you need to consider is how she looks at herself, in contrast to everyone else around her. For example, you said she's insecure about her looks yet she's an extrovert, so she hides that insecurity by tons of make-ups, or tries to join a circle of pretty/handsome people, or doing things that would make her feel pretty (like toying on boys' feelings, etc.). She's also afraid of people's comments about her looks, that's why she's always on the defensive about it.

 

[minacia]

Self-esteem (particularly with appearance) + extroversion feels like an unusual combination that is hard to pull off!

When your story, I think it felt a little mismatched because your protagonist doesn't try very hard at her appearance.

It's definitely possible for very beautiful people to have strong insecurities about their appearances, but often they tend to spend a lot of time on their appearance (i.e. on makeup) and other cosmetic things to improve their looks. The end result (after a ton of makeup) is that they look nice, but they continue to be very self-absorbed with their appearance and complex.

To me, a character that doesn't try with her appearance either indicates that she (A) gave up and doesn't care anymore, or (B) is a hikikomori that hides constantly. Your protagonist doesn't seem to try very hard with her appearance (even though she is apparently ugly), yet at the same time she seems excited, shameless, and happy about various things in life, which almost seems to suggest that she's accepted herself and doesn't have that much of an insecurity. Maybe it's also the case that she's normal and really isn't as ugly as she thinks, too.

 

[Michuyu]

If you're writing an insecure and extrovert character, the first thing you need to consider is how she looks at herself, in contrast to everyone else around her. For example, you said she's insecure about her looks yet she's an extrovert, so she hides that insecurity by tons of make-ups, or tries to join a circle of pretty/handsome people, or doing things that would make her feel pretty (like toying on boys' feelings, etc.). She's also afraid of people's comments about her looks, that's why she's always on the defensive about it.

People are saying that she would hide her insecurities with make-up... But she doesn't like to wear make-up... is that something that doesn't make sense? Because that is how I am... Your other points make a lot of sense to me though! Thank you so much! I really appreciate the feedback! TwT

 

[DubstheDuke]

I mean if the person is an insecure extrovert, then the story is simple.

Their thoughts don't line up with their words.

They will laugh and have fun with people while jealousy or irritation rages inside them

Something like that.

 

[Deleted member 45782]

People are saying that she would hide her insecurities with make-up... But she doesn't like to wear make-up... is that something that doesn't make sense? Because that is how I am... Your other points make a lot of sense to me though! Thank you so much! I really appreciate the feedback! TwT

Maybe actions...like say she doesn't like her look. sometimes she take a joke seriously and personally (even if joke wasn't intentional to cause hurt). maybe she frowns or have disgruntled thoughts about her appearance or whenever she looks in the mirrors, etc.

Character's inside thoughts could really help you know. Or the subtle actions she takes in certain things to cover up her appearance if that is what she is insecure of. (Different insecurities then may need to display it in some different ways more).

 

[Deleted member 29316]

People are saying that she would hide her insecurities with make-up... But she doesn't like to wear make-up... is that something that doesn't make sense? Because that is how I am... Your other points make a lot of sense to me though! Thank you so much! I really appreciate the feedback! TwT

Well, not only make-up; you could also hide your insecurity about your looks by dressing-up. A lot of my students do that.

The important thing is, the character should be able to make herself look good physically. It's like how my students who are not confident with their looks surround themselves with beautiful girls/handsome boys, depending on their gender.

 

[K5Rakitan]

People are generally really good about hiding their insecurities in public. Spend more time getting into her head to show how she is compensating for her insecurities with her actions. Something along the lines of, "I didn't want people to think X, so I did Y."

 

[Michuyu]

Self-esteem (particularly with appearance) + extroversion feels like an unusual combination that is hard to pull off!

When your story, I think it felt a little mismatched because your protagonist doesn't try very hard at her appearance.

It's definitely possible for very beautiful people to have strong insecurities about their appearances, but often they tend to spend a lot of time on their appearance (i.e. on makeup) and other cosmetic things to improve their looks. The end result (after a ton of makeup) is that they look nice, but they continue to be very self-absorbed with their appearance and complex.

To me, a character that doesn't try with her appearance either indicates that she (A) gave up and doesn't care anymore, or (B) is a hikikomori that hides constantly. Your protagonist doesn't seem to try very hard with her appearance (even though she is apparently ugly), yet at the same time she seems excited, shameless, and happy about various things in life, which almost seems to suggest that she's accepted herself and doesn't have that much of an insecurity. Maybe it's also the case that she's normal and really isn't as ugly as she thinks, too.

Thank you so much for your insights!! I may have modeled her after me in regards to giving up and not caring anymore, but in my experience, it only temporarily solves the issue and I didn't accept myself at all. Knowing that I choose to not care for my looks is more of a coping mechanism than a solution, because deep inside, the insecurities are still there. So I mixed that with extraverted qualities such as wanting to be around people and in social groups, being curious about people and speaking out.

I think it's a concept that is too contradictory? Contradictory mindsets are common though right? >.< (or is it just me). Thank you again for your insight! It'll help me create a more cohesive character plan! ^^ <3

 

[Michuyu]

Well, not only make-up; you could also hide your insecurity about your looks by dressing-up. A lot of my students do that.

The important thing is, the character should be able to make herself look good physically.

Mc doesn't want anything to do with fixing her appearance, as she thinks that choosing to look ugly makes her in control (and it's a coping mechanism), but it's a double-edged sword because it still means she's ugly and will get insults >.< Is that too far fetched? I think her beginning to care will be a great development though, so thank you so much for pointing that out!

 

[Michuyu]

People are generally really good about hiding their insecurities in public. Spend more time getting into her head to show how she is compensating for her insecurities with her actions. Something along the lines of, "I didn't want people to think X, so I did Y."

That's a good way of doing it *-* thank you for your suggestion!!

 

[Deleted member 29316]

Mc doesn't want anything to do with fixing her appearance, as she thinks that choosing to look ugly makes her in control (and it's a coping mechanism), but it's a double-edged sword because it still means she's ugly and will get insults >.< Is that too far fetched? I think her beginning to care will be a great development though, so thank you so much for pointing that out!

Don't forget the others' perspective towards her as well...