How would pregnancy Speedruns go?

[BenJepheneT]

It started as a funny discord conversation until it becomes a full blown arguement. I need your opinions here.

Does the Speedrun starts at the moment of conception or does it begin at the moment of the insertion of the penis? In that case, since impregnation is bullshit rng, would external insertion of the sperm be a viable strategy or will it be banned? If unwilling virgins use a turkey baste of cum, is that still allowed?

And throughout the pregnancy, when will the Speedrun end? When the water breaks? Or when the birthing of the baby ends? If so, is C-section a viable strat to save time? When will it count for the Speedrun to end? Does a dead fetus count as a fail state? If so, what's stopping premature abortion, or the preemptively banned strat of dragging the fetus out of a dead body (via consent, of course)? Hell, is abortion counted as a fail state?

And what strats can the participants take to speed up the ensure a successful run? Healthy eating and exercise is a must, but what other strats would you recommend to runners?

What would any% count as? Classic%? If external medical treatment is given is it counted as a glitched run? What would 100% run count as? The fetus being whole? Doing pregnant mom shit? Going to grocery stores?

What other banned strats will there be? And if the nuclear fallout ever comes and irradiates the population into mutated monsters, would the human survivors still count within the speedrun, or will there be two different versions of the Speedrun: pre-update + post-update?

 

[CL]

Is this based on the Reddit post: "If we were to speedrun "Real Life" , What categories would there be? What would go into an Any% run or a 100% run?"

 

[BenJepheneT]

Is this based on the Reddit post: "If we were to speedrun "Real Life" , What categories would there be? What would go into an Any% run or a 100% run?"

No it's a legitimate thing that kept me up at night

If somehow we pull a The Running Man-esque bloodsport with pregnancy how would the parameters look like

 

[Fromage]

We need an expert's opinion on this.
I summon @minacia!

 

[PunishedKom]

Someone write a battle royale pregnancy series pls. Gotta fix that birth rate somehow.

 

[Ununique]

I'm pretty sure it'd be divided between the impregnator and impregnated. For the impregnator the job is done at conception so the any% would probably include that in the category. The classic run would probably be waiting until the kid pops out and then raising it for the next 18 years or so. The 100% is making sure that kid reproduces as well before biting the dust.

For the impregnated the job is probably more complex but generally speaking the failed state is the child dying. Otherwise it's not a speedrun it's just you losing. I think the main category for the any% is just the baby coming out alive. The classic run is raising the child, same as before with the 100% as well.

Now for some variations of any% speedruns. You can support the birth of the child and then leave once it's delivered (an alternative to the classic run), limited to one partner to make things tougher, infinite moola to spend on science gimmicks to speed up the gestation or conception period hell even the raising process. (Practically the same for both categories IMPtor and IMPed.)

 

[NotYourTypicalMan]

Once you insert it, that means you already clicked the start button.

 

[gaylolis]

maybe you need to ask chinese food restaurant owners, they probably mass-produced these things for soups.

there's a myth that eating babies can increase your lifespan, so that's probably how it became rather 'popular'?

 

[BenJepheneT]

maybe you need to ask chinese food restaurant owners, they probably mass-produced these things for soups.

there's a myth that eating babies can increase your lifespan, so that's probably how it became rather 'popular'?

Gonna need some sauce on that bro, for personal comedic reference

 

[mostlyharmfulll]

Someone write a battle royale pregnancy series pls. Gotta fix that birth rate somehow.

Would a pregnancy-themed Batte Royale end in all but one babies dead? Then that wouldn't fix the birth rate at all.

 

[Yamemai]

.... WTF did I just read, and why did I read every post!?

 

[BenJepheneT]

Would a pregnancy-themed Batte Royale end in all but one babies dead? Then that wouldn't fix the birth rate at all.

No, the babies don't kill each other. Instead, it works in reverse. The first baby born gets a blank cheque for child support, and the second baby gets a set amount of a million dollars. The third child gets 950k, and you know the rest.

In an effort for that blank cheque, parents will clamour to print them sperm out like money, but the catch is that they also have to take care of the child, mentally and physically until they turn legal age WITH the cheque they recieve.

Actually, thinking about it now, how would spermbanks fare if this were to happen? What if someone has a fucken potent sperm but a limited output? Would there be bets? Stock exchanges for sperm, for those will lower potency but higher quantity trading for vice versa?

We looking at literal sperm BANK in here.

.... WTF did I just read, and why did I read every post!?

Welcome to Gaming Discussion.

 

[Deleted member 29316]

Life speedrun.

 

[gaylolis]

Gonna need some sauce on that bro, for personal comedic reference

Chinese cannibalism of infant flesh outrages the world

South Korean agents seize pills made with the flesh of human fetuses manufactured in China.

www.washingtontimes.com

just a random news.

couldn't really found a notable restaurant where baby fetuses are legal in duckduckgo.

 

[NotaNuffian]

Chinese cannibalism of infant flesh outrages the world

South Korean agents seize pills made with the flesh of human fetuses manufactured in China.

www.washingtontimes.com

just a random news.

couldn't really found a notable restaurant where baby fetuses are legal in duckduckgo.

The word is "legal".

Have you tried the black sites?

Funny, I always recalled eating stillborn chicken is the best way to boost fertility in women. Never thought that men eating human fetuses could do the same.

For your question Ben, I think it starts at when the sperm hits the egg, then the clock can be start, cuz sex can be with condom, pills and other shits that prevent the tadpoles reaching the site first to start the bady growth process.

 

[BenJepheneT]

For your question Ben, I think it starts at when the sperm hits the egg, then the clock can be start, cuz sex can be with condom, pills and other shits that prevent the tadpoles reaching the site first to start the bady growth process.

How does it end

 

[NotaNuffian]

How does it end

Err, when the thing exits the pouch? You have to minus points/ add time if the baby exits via c-section.

 

[TheTrinary]

Well I did some googling.

The current record 100% record holder, set by some Canadian, posts a time of 21 weeks.

To answer your other questions, obviously it starts at penis insertion. And obviously you stop the clock when the baby is in stable condition. What would be the point of giving birth to a baby only for it to die because you went to quickly.

 

[BenJepheneT]

The current record 100% record holder, set by some Canadian, posts a time of 21 weeks.

 

[StarEis]

does the baby have to be healty? if not it's a easy speedrun