I don't get it

BackWoodsJ_ACK

Birbs, dog, and burbers
Joined
Sep 24, 2020
Messages
113
Points
58
I've gotten a comment a few days ago that's been on my mind. Here it is:

'
"I’m writing this now in case I reach a point where I just stop reading. This story has more than a few grammatical and other issues that need to be fixed by an editor. The most annoying for me is I’m having to imagine every character literally saying “Sigh” because that is exactly how you formatted it. You put “slurp” between two * but can’t even be bothered for sighs.

There are other small details that show you are on the lower end of experience for an author. Your story is not helped when at times it feels you took the worst stylistic choices from translated works. Sometimes you’ll use phrasing’s or words I only see in translated works which makes me wonder about your familiarity with writing for an audience who read normal novels.

Also, I’d highly recommend finding a proof reader as well. An editor would be better but they’re better when you have a more complete story so you can cut out a lot of the chaff that comes from being a free writer rather than an outliner (although even outliners need to cut stuff for a better final product of a story)."


And my question is, what is the stylistic choices? Is it the dialogue? The spacing? Word choice? I'll be honest I'm not writing my story in correct order, like creating paragraphs, indentations etc.

This is a hobby, not a graded work. I do a little over the bare minimum. I workout my brain, let my fantasies run wild, drop a chap, dip, and go bout my day. Also, I'm to cheap to pay for proofreading and editors plus, I don't trust free services for proof reading and what not.

Free doesn't mean good.

I can understand the "sighs" tho. I'll work on it.

Same for audience that reads normal novels. You talking about western books or LN's?

As for phrases, Ngl, my main character sometimes uses slang when he speaks, to me, it's a character trait. Plus, I like having people having to look up the terms.

Homie, if you see this, I know it's constructive criticism but you tore my ass to bits with this, you tryin to fight or sum'in? I can hear Lori Perry's 'Up Against The Wind' in the background as I read this.

Not that I mind but cone on. I know I sound like an ass a little but I don't get this.
 
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Snusmumriken

Vagabond and traveller
Joined
May 22, 2021
Messages
358
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63
From a glance - your writing style is inconsistent. beyond that its really hard to tell without knowing what is actually being discussed.
 

Nahrenne

Pure and Innocent Maiden~
Joined
Jan 2, 2019
Messages
943
Points
133
I've gotten a comment a few days ago that's been on my mind. Here it is:

'
"I’m writing this now in case I reach a point where I just stop reading. This story has more than a few grammatical and other issues that need to be fixed by an editor. The most annoying for me is I’m having to imagine every character literally saying “Sigh” because that is exactly how you formatted it. You put “slurp” between two * but can’t even be bothered for sighs.

There are other small details that show you are on the lower end of experience for an author. Your story is not helped when at times it feels you took the worst stylistic choices from translated works. Sometimes you’ll use phrasing’s or words I only see in translated works which makes me wonder about your familiarity with writing for an audience who read normal novels.

Also, I’d highly recommend finding a proof reader as well. An editor would be better but they’re better when you have a more complete story so you can cut out a lot of the chaff that comes from being a free writer rather than an outliner (although even outliners need to cut stuff for a better final product of a story)."


And my question is, what is the stylistic choices? Is it the dialogue? The spacing? Word choice? I'll be honest I'm not writing my story in correct order, like creating paragraphs, indentations etc.

This is a hobby, not a graded work. I do a little over the bare minimum. I workout my brain, let my fantasies run wild, drop a chap, dip, and go bout my day. Also, I'm to cheap to pay for proofreading and editors plus, I don't trust free services for proof reading and what not.

Free doesn't mean good.

I can understand the "sighs" tho. I'll work on it.

Same for audience that reads normal novels. You talking about western books or LN's?

As for phrases, Ngl, my main character sometimes uses slang when he speaks, to me, it's a character trait. Plus, I like having people having to look up the terms.

Homie, if you see this, I know it's constructive criticism but you tore my ass to bits with this, you tryin to fight or sum'in? I can hear Lori Perry's 'Up Against The Wind' in the background as I read this.

Not that I mind but cone on. I know I sound like an ass a little but I don't get this.
If you want more clarification on their points, why not PM them and ask?
'-'

X
 
Joined
May 1, 2021
Messages
130
Points
43
I've gotten a comment a few days ago that's been on my mind. Here it is:

'
"I’m writing this now in case I reach a point where I just stop reading. This story has more than a few grammatical and other issues that need to be fixed by an editor. The most annoying for me is I’m having to imagine every character literally saying “Sigh” because that is exactly how you formatted it. You put “slurp” between two * but can’t even be bothered for sighs.

There are other small details that show you are on the lower end of experience for an author. Your story is not helped when at times it feels you took the worst stylistic choices from translated works. Sometimes you’ll use phrasing’s or words I only see in translated works which makes me wonder about your familiarity with writing for an audience who read normal novels.

Also, I’d highly recommend finding a proof reader as well. An editor would be better but they’re better when you have a more complete story so you can cut out a lot of the chaff that comes from being a free writer rather than an outliner (although even outliners need to cut stuff for a better final product of a story)."


And my question is, what is the stylistic choices? Is it the dialogue? The spacing? Word choice? I'll be honest I'm not writing my story in correct order, like creating paragraphs, indentations etc.

This is a hobby, not a graded work. I do a little over the bare minimum. I workout my brain, let my fantasies run wild, drop a chap, dip, and go bout my day. Also, I'm to cheap to pay for proofreading and editors plus, I don't trust free services for proof reading and what not.

Free doesn't mean good.

I can understand the "sighs" tho. I'll work on it.

Same for audience that reads normal novels. You talking about western books or LN's?

As for phrases, Ngl, my main character sometimes uses slang when he speaks, to me, it's a character trait. Plus, I like having people having to look up the terms.

Homie, if you see this, I know it's constructive criticism but you tore my ass to bits with this, you tryin to fight or sum'in? I can hear Lori Perry's 'Up Against The Wind' in the background as I read this.

Not that I mind but cone on. I know I sound like an ass a little but I don't get this.
Whether it's a hobby or not, every hobby requires you to take some critism to improve right? Otherwise how do you improve?

I’m both an artist and a writer so I've experienced both and know that even if my work is free and only a hobby, I want to improve right? I don’t get why you try to push your hobby away by just labeling as a hobby.

Honestly if all you want to do is write and create something, write it and don’t post it? Posting it on the internet is begging for critism and hate, whether you want them or not. It's became the daily.
 

DarkGodEM

(No Longer) SH's sole Paid Editor
Joined
Sep 12, 2020
Messages
247
Points
58
I'll go through some points one by one trying to help you as much as possible. I'm an Editor, translator and writer, but I'll try to make it simple for you and everyone else.

And my question is, what is the stylistic choices? Is it the dialogue? The spacing? Word choice? I'll be honest I'm not writing my story in correct order, like creating paragraphs, indentations etc.
stylistic choices are "I'm going to go" I'm gonna go" and "I am goinna go". All are right, all mean the same, the choice is style. This can be grammar, prose, spacing, punctuation; anything that defines how you write, how your characters speak and how your narrator thinks. It's a choice that comes down to style only, not correctness.
This is a hobby, not a graded work. I do a little over the bare minimum. I workout my brain, let my fantasies run wild, drop a chap, dip, and go bout my day. Also, I'm to cheap to pay for proofreading and editors plus, I don't trust free services for proof reading and what not.
Same. My novels take the least effort and I just want to see them go forward and my readers like them. But some times, we make mistakes, and it's ok to learn from them. Fixing grammar whenever pointed out is one such thing.
You talking about western books or LN's?
I think he is talking about LNs since NOTHING in his comment refers to actual romances.
Sometimes you’ll use phrasing’s or words I only see in translated works which makes me wonder about your familiarity with writing for an audience who read normal novels.
What he means here is that you are putting errors in your novel that come from MTL or poor translations. This is fairly common, and I do this intentionally some times because I know my audience, but yes, it's a problem if you don't make it clear they are intentional.

"He goes and grabs. The door to the right is now open." This is a sentence that is common in japanese MTL, and appears in japanese novels as a poor translation artifact. but this kind of prose is seldom acceptable by native readers from presumably english novels.
 

BackWoodsJ_ACK

Birbs, dog, and burbers
Joined
Sep 24, 2020
Messages
113
Points
58
Whether it's a hobby or not, every hobby requires you to take some critism to improve right? Otherwise how do you improve?

I’m both an artist and a writer so I've experienced both and know that even if my work is free and only a hobby, I want to improve right? I don’t get why you try to push your hobby away by just labeling as a hobby.

Honestly if all you want to do is write and create something, write it and don’t post it? Posting it on the internet is begging for critism and hate, whether you want them or not. It's became the daily.
I have a feeling you referring to the you wanna fight or sum'in thing. That's a joke my guy. Should I put it's a joke in parenthesis?
I'll go through some points one by one trying to help you as much as possible. I'm an Editor, translator and writer, but I'll try to make it simple for you and everyone else.


stylistic choices are "I'm going to go" I'm gonna go" and "I am goinna go". All are right, all mean the same, the choice is style. This can be grammar, prose, spacing, punctuation; anything that defines how you write, how your characters speak and how your narrator thinks. It's a choice that comes down to style only, not correctness.

Same. My novels take the least effort and I just want to see them go forward and my readers like them. But some times, we make mistakes, and it's ok to learn from them. Fixing grammar whenever pointed out is one such thing.

I think he is talking about LNs since NOTHING in his comment refers to actual romances.

What he means here is that you are putting errors in your novel that come from MTL or poor translations. This is fairly common, and I do this intentionally some times because I know my audience, but yes, it's a problem if you don't make it clear they are intentional.

"He goes and grabs. The door to the right is now open." This is a sentence that is common in japanese MTL, and appears in japanese novels as a poor translation artifact. but this kind of prose is seldom acceptable by native readers from presumably english novels.
'Preciate it
 

LoliGent

The Lolicon Gentleman
Joined
May 21, 2021
Messages
248
Points
43
These types of comments are common. We all get them. That's what it means to post something online. After all, everyone and their dog can give you feedback of any variety at any time.

If it's your hobby, then you can choose to ignore it, but if you are taking writing seriously, then perhaps it is best if you take the criticism. It may not be the best, I really don't like these self-centered critiques, but the fact that someone took the time to read your story and then give you some kind of feedback is more than most people can hope for. Most story's just languish in obscurity, while your story got attention.

You can either make it apparent in the synopsis that this is just a hobby and you intend to stick with what you got, or you can take your hobby to the next level and try to improve your writing. It's all about why you chose to make this story public.
 

TrashyHuman

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 13, 2019
Messages
544
Points
133
I don't get why you're mad. The criticism presented seems to be well-intentioned and, while slightly harsh, they took the time (and I'm sure it wasn't just a minute or two) to tell all these things. Besides, even if it's a hobby, it doesn't mean that it should be above others' judgement, you did publish it for others to see, after all
 

K5Rakitan

Level 32 👪 💍 Pronouns: she/whore ♀
Joined
Apr 15, 2020
Messages
3,354
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158
You can look for a free beta reader on Goodreads. They have a group.
 

Cipiteca396

Talks too much.
Joined
Jun 6, 2021
Messages
495
Points
63
I've gotten a comment a few days ago that's been on my mind. Here it is:

'
"I’m writing this now in case I reach a point where I just stop reading. This story has more than a few grammatical and other issues that need to be fixed by an editor. The most annoying for me is I’m having to imagine every character literally saying “Sigh” because that is exactly how you formatted it. You put “slurp” between two * but can’t even be bothered for sighs.

There are other small details that show you are on the lower end of experience for an author. Your story is not helped when at times it feels you took the worst stylistic choices from translated works. Sometimes you’ll use phrasing’s or words I only see in translated works which makes me wonder about your familiarity with writing for an audience who read normal novels.

Also, I’d highly recommend finding a proof reader as well. An editor would be better but they’re better when you have a more complete story so you can cut out a lot of the chaff that comes from being a free writer rather than an outliner (although even outliners need to cut stuff for a better final product of a story)."


And my question is, what is the stylistic choices? Is it the dialogue? The spacing? Word choice? I'll be honest I'm not writing my story in correct order, like creating paragraphs, indentations etc.

This is a hobby, not a graded work. I do a little over the bare minimum. I workout my brain, let my fantasies run wild, drop a chap, dip, and go bout my day. Also, I'm to cheap to pay for proofreading and editors plus, I don't trust free services for proof reading and what not.

Free doesn't mean good.

I can understand the "sighs" tho. I'll work on it.

Same for audience that reads normal novels. You talking about western books or LN's?

As for phrases, Ngl, my main character sometimes uses slang when he speaks, to me, it's a character trait. Plus, I like having people having to look up the terms.

Homie, if you see this, I know it's constructive criticism but you tore my ass to bits with this, you tryin to fight or sum'in? I can hear Lori Perry's 'Up Against The Wind' in the background as I read this.

Not that I mind but cone on. I know I sound like an ass a little but I don't get this.
Link your dang book in your signature so we can take a look for ourselves.

I do on occasion read untranslated JP web novels. :blob_sir: There's a ton of odd little things that show up like "the Lord of Voices". Some of those are just barely on the edge of what might be possible in English, so you accept them as English and include them in your story, or even your daily speech. That's probably what the second paragraph is referring to, unless the commenter is actually conceited enough to think that literal styles they don't like just shouldn't exist. The rest is just solid advice, despite the rude tone.
 
Joined
May 1, 2021
Messages
130
Points
43
These types of comments are common. We all get them. That's what it means to post something online. After all, everyone and their dog can give you feedback of any variety at any time.

If it's your hobby, then you can choose to ignore it, but if you are taking writing seriously, then perhaps it is best if you take the criticism. It may not be the best, I really don't like these self-centered critiques, but the fact that someone took the time to read your story and then give you some kind of feedback is more than most people can hope for. Most story's just languish in obscurity, while your story got attention.

You can either make it apparent in the synopsis that this is just a hobby and you intend to stick with what you got, or you can take your hobby to the next level and try to improve your writing. It's all about why you chose to make this story public.
Exactly. This is what I meant and you explained it perfectly. I honestly don’t care if the guy decides to listen to the critique or not, but the fact that he got some is more than what others can say. Really the best option considering the dry response is not posting at all. I’ve seen worse and harsher comments before, so either prepare an excuse list or post your stuff privately.
 

SailusGebel

Well-known member
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Messages
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128
Y u mad bro? This comment 'bashed' the technical aspect of your writing. Why even bother getting angry at it? It's not like your story doesn't have any mistakes, right? This 'critique' doesn't even sound as harsh.
 

BackWoodsJ_ACK

Birbs, dog, and burbers
Joined
Sep 24, 2020
Messages
113
Points
58
Y u mad bro? This comment 'bashed' the technical aspect of your writing. Why even bother getting angry at it? It's not like your story doesn't have any mistakes, right? This 'critique' doesn't even sound as harsh.
No I'm not mad. While it may seem mad, it's not. The whole thing was typed in a light hearted manner. The whole time I was reading it, I was playing the day after day song in my head as I dramatically fell off my bed.

I posted this up here to get the guy's attention. I managed to talk to him after being reminded that there was a DM. Forgot bout it due to never using it.

I took his criticism seriously and apologized to him if I sounded like a dick.
 

LinXueLian

Forever Handsome
Joined
Feb 19, 2021
Messages
424
Points
93
I.... am not sure what to say. In all honesty I feel that the comment you've received itself could do with an amount of editing and proofreading as well. It's bothered me more than your post itself, really. When the commenter uses terms like, "show you are on the lower end of experience for an author" when they could have just as easily used, "show your inexperience as an author" or, "Your story is not helped when at times..." when they could be using, "It does not help when you [do X [with your story]] at times"........................... I..... ugh. It's tough. It's like, I want to take it seriously.... but I just... can't. It doesn't read like what someone who regularly reads untranslated, published novels from actual publishing houses would say. So the grain of salt I'd take with it is a bloody huge one.

I'm not sure who I'm more embarrassed for, at this rate. Dear me. Rafter in our own eyes; has no one ever heard of it?

But nitpicking aside - and enough of that from fussy ol' me - if the comment holds weigh and you do want to nab more readers by improving the quality of your work, you can try to pay attention to a few things they've complained about which are legitimate issues no matter how we look at them. Grammatical and spelling issues are that awful, awful beast all of us must tackle at some point or other. We all make mistakes no matter how careful or experienced we are, so edits can be very, very important. I still sometimes go back to older stuff I've put out to fix grammatical or spelling errors. Even months and years later, I still find them. So yeah, you do need to be very patient overall. I've seen spelling errors in both published books and news articles. They're nasty little things - creeping into all our works no matter who we are!

Buuuuuut that's only if you want to improve. If you don't, and you just want to stay how you are, it's well within your right to do so as well. It does help when you put a disclaimer there that you don't want critique though. Some of us can handle it, but some can't, and that's understandable. Everyone moves at their own pace in free spaces, and all that jazz.

I don't really have a problem or a bone to pick with anyone who doesn't want to improve, honestly. But the internet is a shared space - you can't really choose for someone to give your work critiques or praise unless precisely stated; they're random at most. The only thing I don't like is when someone actively ASKS for a critique or an honest review of their work and then spends the next twenty posts deflecting any criticism they get by explaining or arguing away their style or whatever. Do whatever you want, but try not to waste anyone's time.

That's about it.
 
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well it depends if you just want to keep writing for a hobby or want to go pro in the future.

i don't know for the latter, but for the former, you're free to ignore everything you didn't like and just write the way you're comfortable with, and for the audience you feel like writing to the most.

personally i think the right way in writing is something that makes you keep writing.

so whatever people say, you always have the final one.
 

Snusmumriken

Vagabond and traveller
Joined
May 22, 2021
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358
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While people can write how they want, I am however confused why a lot of draw parallels that if it is a hobby it's okay or even expected to leave things half-assed. Especially basic things like grammar.

I can understand that if it is your hobby you aren't interested in including popular genres in your story for example. but if you like writing I would assume you want to write well at least. You might not have a lot of time to improve, but you should strive for some improvement.
 

SailusGebel

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While people can write how they want, I am however confused why a lot of draw parallels that if it is a hobby it's okay or even expected to leave things half-assed. Especially basic things like grammar.

I can understand that if it is your hobby you aren't interested in including popular genres in your story for example. but if you like writing I would assume you want to write well at least. You might not have a lot of time to improve, but you should strive for some improvement.
Why should people strive for improvement in their hobbies?
 

bulmabriefs144

New member
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Apr 30, 2021
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I have pretty terrible ability to take criticism either. Here's some of my reviews for a game that I made.


You'll note that I argued pretty harshly with the game reviewers. It took a long time before I improved, but the advice was helpful. That is not to say all reviews are fair or valid. You have to be able to review your reviewer, and see what you feel about things.

I try my best on writing, but it is mostly a hobby. That said, I may make a few bucks from Amazon KDP or Vella. But this is usually pocket change. The point is, even as a hobby, you want it somewhat good. But I remember going crazy trying to edit everything. Reviewers need clear expectations or they risk abusing the reviewee. If your reviewer seems like an abusive hypocrite, take this approach. Say the mantra, "I will improve in the future. I can edit this current project, but if it gets to be a nuisance, I'll leave some of it alone." This mindset typically helps you work on things without becoming insane.
 
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Snusmumriken

Vagabond and traveller
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May 22, 2021
Messages
358
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Why should people strive for improvement in their hobbies?
why people eat different foods if they like eating? why artists don't stick with the stick figures they were drawing as kids? How can you enjoy doing something and not enjoy doing it better? different?
 
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