Writing Prompt I don't have to explain shit

Ai-chan

Queen of Yuri Devourer of Traps
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Dec 23, 2018
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Have a look at this meme.

275124330_2950541681862587_6271233739024209867_n.jpg


Here is your task. Write a very short story between 20 to 200 words. It can be any story, but it must end with "I don't have to explain shit." or any of its variations such as "I ain't gotta explain shit."

Ai-chan's example:


He is aware that there is something wrong with this scene.

A girl in pajamas holding a cucumber.
An old man wearing a parachute bag.
A very young boy passionately reading a book titled The Art of Passionately Studying Girls Underwear.
And himself, in his boxers, and nothing else.

But why isn't anyone else finding this odd?

He tapped on the shoulder of driver of the car. "Hello, why are we here?"

Without turning around, he answered, "You got in the car. I ain't gotta explain shit!"
 

Amok

grblbrbl
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Nov 4, 2020
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the gatherers launch their skiffs onto the surface of the whaladon tank. the leviathan had been force-fed for six cycles straight, and here now floated the result of such labors: bobbing buoys of excreta, each keelo worth thrice its weight in platinum. The gatherers set about their task of cutting and stowing the prize, being careful not to waste the tiniest tidbit.

Kpojd, new to the job, wrinkles his nose as he slaps another feces cube onto the skiff.
"I really don't understand how folk got a market for this 'n all, hiring poor saps like us to go a-whaling after turds, eh?"
Jolli, the shift manager, slowly shakes her head and then drawls, "Close your mouth, boy. Seen some like you hurlin' all over the product day one. And ain't your place to be asking questions, this job is what it is. I ain't gotta explain shit."
 

CarburetorThompson

Fuel Atomization Enjoyer
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“You were the last person seen with Tom Jones before he disappeared“ I stated inquisitively. “Why did you kill him Mr. Clinton?” I had raised my voice to the point where I was now yelling.

“I don’t have to explain shit.” Said former U.S. President Bill Clinton.
 

The_3rd_Book

Pedagogical Cannibalism?
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Jun 20, 2020
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As my eyes open I am greeted with a blur of bright, overbearing colors. After blinking a bit to focus my eyes, I find myself in a room full of clowns packed against each other, much like a can of sardines. As they are murmuring amongst each other, one suddenly turns to me with great fervor. His bushy eyebrows of mismatching colors furrow together, and his face falls into a frown, despite the giant painted smile on his face. "What the fuck are you wearing!" He bellows in a thick New Jersey accent while dramatically gesturing to my plain, dark colored clothing. Before I can attempt to express my extreme confusion with the situation, he abruptly continues. "Is this joke to you! Huh?!" I raise my finger to interject, but he further says "Listen pal, there ain't no funny business in the funny business. This is seriously silly shit, ya here me? Quit playing the fool-" "Shut up!!!" I say in an abrupt shout. "Where the fuck am I?" I eventually let out. After staring at each other for a short eternity; he finally speaks. "I ain't gotta explain shit."
 
Last edited:

BlackKnightX

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“Hey, there.”

“Hey.”

“How are ya?”

“I’m good. You?”

“I’m a little under the weather. Thanks for asking.”

“No, no. Thanks for telling me.”

“I have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“Who the hell are you again?”

“I’d like the ask the same thing.”

“…”

“…”

“Another question.”

“Go ahead.”

“Do you think the readers will understand what’s going on? I mean there‘s no dialogue tag, no description, nothing.”

“No, they don’t.”

“Then, what are we gonna do?”

“Don’t ask me. Ask the lazy author.”

“How?”

“Dunno.”

“….”

“….”

“I know the author’s lazy, but… can we at least do something?”

“We don’t have to.”

“Why?”

“Didn’t you read the rule? It’s cuz we ain’t gotta explain shit.”
 

K5Rakitan

Level 34 👪 💍 Pronouns: she/whore ♀
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"Hey, try this mysterious white clear stuff," my husband said.

"For my next trick, I need a condom and a volunteer," I replied.

My mom stopped by the door and stared at us.

"They don't have to explain shit," my son hollered.
 
D

Deleted member 57675

Guest
"The world fell into an apocalypse. The undead have risen and started taking a liking to the living's flesh, virgin-lusting unicorns are flying in the air, and people are shooting pink balls of gas into the air to engulf the world in a giant, sparkly, pink bubble - just for the aesthetics.

Meanwhile a zombified parrot has been luring human survivors to its lair, with its hoarse voice. Then it pecks the living crap out of humans and consume their flesh."

"Wait. How-"​

"Don't ask me how it still can speak after being zombified. Don't have to explain that shit. Now move kid!"
 
Joined
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"I don't have to explain shit, it's just shit."

"Thanks for the explanation!"

"No."
 
Joined
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The last remaining scientist stared up at Pandora as he lay broken on the cold lab floor. "Why... why do you beasts interfere with science?"

"Hm, run that by me again," the cat-eared woman said.

"You heard me! Beasts, every one of you! Why do you hate progress?"

She leaned forward, her warhammer resting lightly on her shoulder. "You hear what you're saying? You don't care what I think. You don't even think I am thinking." She bared her teeth in a predatory grin. "And that's why I ain't gotta explain shit."

WHACK.
 

Anon2024

????????? (???/???)
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Once upon a time a man who couldn't sleep posted on a forum.
He did not wish to get to know others as others on the internet often didn't play nicely.
Then as he scrolled the posts he became emboldened with fresh ideas to where he invented a microship, which is not to be confused with a microchip which was invented earlier than when he had been born.

Of course... what is a microship?

To that he responds, "Read Yuri Manga, I ain't gotta explain Shit!"
 

minionlover

Active member
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May 20, 2022
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Have a look at this meme.

View attachment 12715

Here is your task. Write a very short story between 20 to 200 words. It can be any story, but it must end with "I don't have to explain shit." or any of its variations such as "I ain't gotta explain shit."

Ai-chan's example:


He is aware that there is something wrong with this scene.

A girl in pajamas holding a cucumber.
An old man wearing a parachute bag.
A very young boy passionately reading a book titled The Art of Passionately Studying Girls Underwear.
And himself, in his boxers, and nothing else.

But why isn't anyone else finding this odd?

He tapped on the shoulder of driver of the car. "Hello, why are we here?"

Without turning around, he answered, "You got in the car. I ain't gotta explain shit!"
My hands are shaking. I can barely keep myself together.

My blood spills to the white carpet floor as my wound seems to widen.

It hurts.

It hurts.

It hurts.

Every passing second chips away at my sanity.

Complete madness burns my soul as I raise my head and roar, "WHY?!"

She looks at me and smiles, licking the blood off her blade as her eyes twinkle in amusement.

The desire to rip her limb by limb only grows as I roar once more, "W—*cough* *cough*...WHY?!"

She laughs.

Only when I lose the strength in my arms and my face kisses the floor, does she finally answer.

"This is a reincarnation novel; I don't have to explain shit."

———

I cringed writing this. :blob_cringe:
 

Alfir

The Inventor of Words
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Aug 11, 2021
Messages
342
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This customer made an intricate request that is hard to ignore.
complicated-customer-request-to-the-pizza-guy-hilarious-twist-ending.jpg

"Someon killed frank!" said by the customer as he storms off raging.
"I don't have to explain shit!" said by the other customer.

(I totally plagiarized it. Credits to the source wherever that is...)
 

Fox-Trot-9

Foxy, the fluffy butt-stabber!
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Nov 17, 2020
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"I ain't gotta explain shit," he said.
"Then what's that shit on your nose," I said.
He touched his nose.
I laughed.
He punched.
I ducked.
I punched him in the dick.

Moral

Do I even have to explain this?
 

Frank-9976

surrealist shortform writer
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Oct 13, 2022
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Fuck. I need to hide this body. Um.

Look, I get murder is wrong, but can you blame me when my friend just said his favorite color was red? Like, if I fill his eyes with blood, his life will look red for the last moments of his life. I'm really a benefactor here.

But uh. I don't wanna explain that shit to the police. I don't think they'll understand.

So, I dragged my friend's body out the door to my backyard. I live in quite a nice house. It even comes with a little nuclear bomb shelter. Like, I'll just put him in there.

After stuffing his carcass in that shelter, I closed the lid. As long as no bombs dropped, I won't have to explain shit.
 
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