I would appreciate some feedback on the first chapter.

  • Thread starter Deleted member 12959
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Deleted member 12959

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Reincarnation— Kingdom of Lust

Long story short, the MC gets electrocuted by his console and wakes up in the environment of the game he was coding. And everything follows a script, for now.
Tagged as smut, but besides some breasts on a poster, there is nothing kinky in the first chapter.

I would love some thoughts on things that could be improved, and some tips&suggestions if you have any. If not, something simple such as what you liked or disliked about the story would be highly appreciated.

Thank you!
 
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