In need of feedback, it'll be quick since I put a poll

Please choose bad aspects of my novel

  • The summary didn’t pique my interest

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • It has a boring start

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • The characters aren’t realistic

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • The characters personalities are bland

    Votes: 1 100.0%
  • The main character (Conor) sucks

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • The writing is lazy

    Votes: 1 100.0%
  • The novel is too wordy

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • The world building and story pacing is too quick (Too many information in just one ch, etc)

    Votes: 1 100.0%
  • The world building and the story pacing is too slow

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • The story is confusing

    Votes: 1 100.0%
  • The story doesn’t make sense

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Bad grammar and spelling

    Votes: 1 100.0%
  • I prefer first person view, it’s easier to read

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • The story doesn’t have any originality

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Every chapter ended without cliffhanger

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Cover doesn't fit the story

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    1

etherealbao

Active member
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
3
Points
41
Hello, I've only written 4 chapters so far but I need to know if I am going the right way.

here

You can help me fill out the poll, or taking your time to reply my thread. Either way will be much appreciated :) I welcome any good and bad feedback!
Thank you in advance!
 

featherrain

New member
Joined
Aug 23, 2019
Messages
2
Points
3
I like the concept, especially the part about the book having never mentioned how MC would die, only that they would.

S-Scherr already mentioned the tense issue. It didn't bother me as much though.

What did annoy me was the word spacing. Some paragraphs stretch the line to fit the width of the page, so the words end up super far apart, while others are normally spaced. Pick format and stick to it, preferably the normal one, since the wide spacing can make certain lines hard to read.

Every drop of rain continuously hitting the window, blurring the sight outside the mansion.

I'd replace it with: "It was dark. Sheets of rain pounded the bedroom window, blurring the view outside."

Not that there's anything to see outside, since it's dark...

And in this current situation, Conor and Elmer circumstances was rather perfect.

"...was ideal."

But he didn't care either way as he could savor meals which looked a Michelin star dishes.

"But he didn't care either way. He was too busy enjoying the meal, which looked like it came from a Michelin-starred restaurant."

"It's just... I want to change my servant" Conor said, slightly sighing.

Aww, was hoping the servant can keep annoying the MC with misguided sexual advances. I didn't see a BL tag, so I'm curious about direction the romance will take (if any).
 
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