I like the concept, especially the part about the book having never mentioned how MC would die, only that they would.
S-Scherr already mentioned the tense issue. It didn't bother me as much though.
What did annoy me was the word spacing. Some paragraphs stretch the line to fit the width of the page, so the words end up super far apart, while others are normally spaced. Pick format and stick to it, preferably the normal one, since the wide spacing can make certain lines hard to read.
Every drop of rain continuously hitting the window, blurring the sight outside the mansion.
I'd replace it with: "It was dark. Sheets of rain pounded the bedroom window, blurring the view outside."
Not that there's anything to see outside, since it's dark...
And in this current situation, Conor and Elmer circumstances was rather perfect.
"...was ideal."
But he didn't care either way as he could savor meals which looked a Michelin star dishes.
"But he didn't care either way. He was too busy enjoying the meal, which looked like it came from a Michelin-starred restaurant."
"It's just... I want to change my servant" Conor said, slightly sighing.
Aww, was hoping the servant can keep annoying the MC with misguided sexual advances. I didn't see a BL tag, so I'm curious about direction the romance will take (if any).