I used to think so. Hell, I still do to some extent, but I'm proud to say that I no longer look at people who want to pass on their genes with disdain. I used to panic about the inevitable doom humanity is bringing against itself with the climate crisis and its inability to meet the physical demands (Not the supply, there's more than enough actual stuff to go around. Screw you zero-sum gamers.) of the people we already have on this Earth.
Hearing someone say, "I want want to have kids of my own." always felt like they meant "I don't care about the planet, or the souls suffering under the horrors of the system." but some long conversations with a number of acquaintances and my mother has revealed a number of reasons why someone would put/bake a cinnabon in the oven rather than picking a perfectly good one out from the store:
They just never considered adoption (the most common reason in my circle)
They see raising their own child as an ultimate expression of love (irrational to me, but feelings are irrational)
They're afraid of the child being wrong/ruined by the system (an idea that I take umbrage with, as the child that you make could also be "ruined" by any number of factors)
None of these point towards disdain for humanity's continued survival or a lack of sympathy for orphans, but a part of me still thinks that despite people's perfectly valid reasons for having their own child, they should be encouraged to rescue one that already exists, if only to reduce the amount of suffering in the world.
It isn't selfish, IMO. It's more of an instinct and the general norm imposed by society since ancient times. The child that's born between you and someone you love --- it has just become a type of "we need to do this" thing over the years. Adopting a child may seem like, to the other partner,
I like you, but not enough to have my offspring be born from you.
Kind of like marriage.
You know, most people will consider marrying the person they love. Why do we do this? No reasons except for the fact that society wants us to, and because we've been exposed to that type of culture since a young age. It probably began like that, then went on to become an almost-forced thing since there are so many laws and stuff regarding marriage. For example, citizenship. If you're a citizen, and you want your gf or bf to be a citizen, it won't work. You need to have official documents to prove you are connected. Most governments only accept marriage certificates (if you have any) to give benefits of your citizenship to a partner.
Biological children haven't been turned into this almost-forced thing yet, but may as well in the distant future. There's always a possibility.
However, I do think that adoption is important and many people should go for it.
For one: you aren't adding an extra human on this already-crowded Earth.
Two: You're giving a family to a person who was abandoned.
Three: Exposing yourself to rooms for growth, both culturally and emotionally
Four: You can actually plan on when you want to have a child, and it's not restricted by age
Five: many more reasons. dot dot dot.
Either way, both options are valid from my perspective. You can have your own child, or you can adopt a child. Heck, you can even not hav e a child. Whatever the person in question's opinion is.
... Ofc there are those who don't deserve to be parents, but ya know.
