Is my twist on M.Night shayalama lvl?

Joined
Jul 27, 2020
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I have a fast paced novel I wanted to know if my oc character has enough oomph you know and some thoughts on my writing this is my first novel,and criticism on general and my twist I did in chapter 5.
 
Joined
Jul 27, 2020
Messages
29
Points
18
I have a fast paced novel I wanted to know if my oc character has enough oomph you know and some thoughts on my writing this is my first novel,and criticism on general and my twist I did in chapter 5.
Wow entire day with no replies something did crack inside
 

Snusmumriken

Vagabond and traveller
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Especially reading till chapter 5. I try to provide some feedback here and there when i procrast when I have some free time. But I would only read through 1st chapter in these cases.
 

Cipiteca396

Needs chocolate to get through the day.
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Your formatting is totally broken on the first chapter. The general grammar could use some work too. I didn't read past that.

The characters themselves are the sort of oddly exaggerated that I don't care to read, but seems to be popular. I think I'm a little guilty of this too, at least for my current story, so it's probably fine for normal readers.
 
Joined
Jul 27, 2020
Messages
29
Points
18
Your formatting is totally broken on the first chapter. The general grammar could use some work too. I didn't read past that.

The characters themselves are the sort of oddly exaggerated that I don't care to read, but seems to be popular. I think I'm a little guilty of this too, at least for my current story, so it's probably fine for normal readers.
Thanks
Especially reading till chapter 5. I try to provide some feedback here and there when i procrast when I have some free time. But I would only read through 1st chapter in these cases.
Oki
Welp, what did you expect? This forum isn't crowded.
Shit
 

Mysticant

Resident Ant
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Jun 17, 2021
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I would agree, it is very difficult to read, I wouldn't ever consider past the first chapter. Have you tried reading the first chapter in reader view yourself, perchance? It would be good to know how the readers view your work after you have actually tried reading it yourself.
 

Armored99

Harem-phobic
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Jun 27, 2021
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The important part for a story twist, is that once it happens the reader realizes that it all makes sense. That they should've seen it sooner, and not think that it came out of no where. Of course you don't want to foreshadow to much so that everyone knows whats going to happen. If they do figure it out, it should be hard so they can feel accomplished and proud for it. A difficult balance, like all things.
 
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