Is my twist on M.Night shayalama lvl?

Surfing_Cipher

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 27, 2020
Messages
38
Points
48
I have a fast paced novel I wanted to know if my oc character has enough oomph you know and some thoughts on my writing this is my first novel,and criticism on general and my twist I did in chapter 5.
 

Surfing_Cipher

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 27, 2020
Messages
38
Points
48
I have a fast paced novel I wanted to know if my oc character has enough oomph you know and some thoughts on my writing this is my first novel,and criticism on general and my twist I did in chapter 5.
Wow entire day with no replies something did crack inside
 

Snusmumriken

Vagabond and traveller
Joined
May 22, 2021
Messages
449
Points
103
Especially reading till chapter 5. I try to provide some feedback here and there when i procrast when I have some free time. But I would only read through 1st chapter in these cases.
 

Cipiteca396

🌺🌑🐉🪶 Anxiety Overdrive
Joined
Jun 6, 2021
Messages
2,143
Points
153
Your formatting is totally broken on the first chapter. The general grammar could use some work too. I didn't read past that.

The characters themselves are the sort of oddly exaggerated that I don't care to read, but seems to be popular. I think I'm a little guilty of this too, at least for my current story, so it's probably fine for normal readers.
 

Surfing_Cipher

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 27, 2020
Messages
38
Points
48
Your formatting is totally broken on the first chapter. The general grammar could use some work too. I didn't read past that.

The characters themselves are the sort of oddly exaggerated that I don't care to read, but seems to be popular. I think I'm a little guilty of this too, at least for my current story, so it's probably fine for normal readers.
Thanks
Especially reading till chapter 5. I try to provide some feedback here and there when i procrast when I have some free time. But I would only read through 1st chapter in these cases.
Oki
Welp, what did you expect? This forum isn't crowded.
Shit
 

Mysticant

Resident Ant
Joined
Jun 17, 2021
Messages
274
Points
58
I would agree, it is very difficult to read, I wouldn't ever consider past the first chapter. Have you tried reading the first chapter in reader view yourself, perchance? It would be good to know how the readers view your work after you have actually tried reading it yourself.
 

Armored99

Harem-phobic
Joined
Jun 27, 2021
Messages
299
Points
83
The important part for a story twist, is that once it happens the reader realizes that it all makes sense. That they should've seen it sooner, and not think that it came out of no where. Of course you don't want to foreshadow to much so that everyone knows whats going to happen. If they do figure it out, it should be hard so they can feel accomplished and proud for it. A difficult balance, like all things.
 
Top