Is this okay

[Puppetboi]

I've taken up writing as a hobby recently and decided to post online as I do want to improve and I know that if anybody can give good criticism it's the internet.

Anyways I plan to make the first arc more or less an introduction to ideas, systems, people, and overall themes. I've tried to keep it entertaining but I think everything would work better if I focus more on setting a clear mystery and world instead of starting off with fights.

Would that be fine for the the record I've released 4 chapters so far.

A Demon’s Ordinary Survival Story

The protagonist is an ordinary guy. He goes to school, then he works, then he studys, and then he relaxes. Yup nothing strange. Except maybe one thing. Since he was five he'd have night terrors every night where he would be tortured by a blob of grey goo attached to...

www.scribblehub.com

While I'm at it what else could I improve on other than the pace. I understand that the starting pace has been iffy.

 

[OneSixSeven]

I normally use Italics for 'Character Thoughts', teasing and provoking. I learned and used it since my days of writing fanfiction at fanfiction.net and reading translated light novels in a form PDF file by Calibre program. I don't use ( ), [ ] and so for character thoughts because if I did so, there's a chance that it'll act 'funny' in other story host website's text editors.

I read your story's chapter. I think there should be some checking before publishing it. I noticed that in chapter 1. You should keep in mind of "words sounding the same but different spelling and meaning" because that's one of the common mistakes I encountered so far even in fanfiction before discovering Scribblehub. Maybe a dictionary might help you a bit.

That's all.

 

[AliceShiki]

Anyways I plan to make the first arc more or less an introduction to ideas, systems, people, and overall themes. I've tried to keep it entertaining but I think everything would work better if I focus more on setting a clear mystery and world instead of starting off with fights.

This seems like a solid plan, go for it~