Title: I Was A Truck, Now I'm Being Punished For My Sins
First, let me be clear: I never killed anyone. I mean, I was an inanimate object after all! How can I be expected to bear the sins and consequences of my drivers! Yet at some point around the dispatch office a rumour sprang up that "that truck is cursed by evil spirits". It seems as though, in the past, I was responsible for an inordinately high number of pedestrian accidents. What could be done though? If I were a dog I would be put down, but a truck is just a truck. It's the driver who is at fault.
Or at least it should be.
But they say a sword that takes 1,000 lives will develop an evil spirit. I surely never killed that many, but somehow all that bad miasmic energy from all those accidents ended up with me developing into an evil spirit too. That just made things worse unfortunately. Even if I didn't intend for harm, just by virtue of being an evil spirit, I ended up carrying misfortune in my wake. Not just running over pedestrians, my drivers started getting sick or passing out at the wheel. It's not intentional! I didn't ask to be a truck with an evil spirit either! Blame the drivers damn it!
Aaah. That was how it was supposed to be, but the gods deemed me to be an evil and murderous spirit, and as a result sent down divine retribution to me... in the form of another truck ploughing right into my side. This dog has finally been put down...
Eh? Or at least that's how it should have been? Who are you??
"Oh, you're done internally monologuing now? That's good. It was really boring. I hate when stories just frontload with exposition. Like, get to the good stuff, y'know?"
Huh?! Is that guy talking to me?
"I'm a god. Mindreading is the least impressive thing on my resume. Yeah, I'm talking to you. Let's just speed past all the information dumping, okay? First of all, the whole hit and run and evil spirit stuff is the fault of my company. Me specifically. Truth is there's a bit of cosmic instability going on and a lot of worlds are in dire need of summoned heroes. Killing them off in their own world cuts through a lot of boring paperwork, otherwise I'd have to make dopplegangers so families wouldn't miss them or erase their memories of the summoned person or whatever. Why bother with all that when you can just kill them off and then give them a new body more appropriate to their new world to boot? So yeah, I've been using you and a few of your, huhhh, colleagues? As instruments of reincarnation."
Oi, oi, slow down. So what you're saying is I really am cursed?
"Okay, stop interrupting. That means more paragraph breaks, plus I need to respond to your comments to make the dialogue flow which just drags this whole introductory prologue out. Everyone hates prologues for this reason! It's always the same old spiel, just skip it and get to the reincarnation!!"
Rein- who's being reincarnated? Who else did I kill, aaaaah!
"Okay, we're back on track at least I guess. So long story short, because I meddled with you and your world a bit too much, causing you to develop into an evil spirit, the deities of your world got mad at me and made me clean up my mess. Well, like I said, just killing off the main players is the least troublesome way to handle these things. So since you developed a spirit and sentience I thought, huh! Why not just use the same old script and kill 'em off! So, congratulations! You're getting a one way ticket to a world of swords and sorcery."
Where did that hand clapping sound come from? Creepy. It's like I'm in a haunted house.
"How rude! I was adding atmosphere. Okay, hurry up and create your character. You can't be a human or any humanoid race since you're sort of bound by the nature of your soul. Since you were a truck you'd normally get reincarnated as a horse or some other vehicle-based beast, but since it's my fault you have to go through the existential horror of self-awareness, I can pull some strings through some loopholes and let you transmigrate as something, you know, less pathetic. How about a dragon? Although dragonriders don't exist anymore, it still follows the rule of 'vehicle'."
S-slow down. I'm still absorbing the part about how you intentionally used me as an instrument of wilful murder purely because of laziness.
"Huh? That was several paragraphs ago. At least say you're still absorbing the part about reincarnating."
I'm getting to that!
"Forget it, I'll just do it for you! You can become a metal-aligned dragon!"
"Have fun, truck-kun! This world is basically doomed so don't worry about going crazy and destroying any countries, it won't make a difference. Just cut loose and and live your life unfettered by worries for the next 50 years before the apocalypse~!"
I think I just heard something scary. Wait, come back, I don't wanna-