Jokes Thread

OddJamm

OddJamm

~Sweet Preservatives~
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Just as the name states, we post jokes here. Main goal is to share smiles and brighten others day. From memes to puns to funny stories are all welcomed here! :blob_sir:
 
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OddJamm

OddJamm

~Sweet Preservatives~
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I'll start off with a story that has been told before but I'll copy and paste it again.
At midnight when my house was all dark with dim lighting. I was brushing my teeth when I heard the sound of someone walking in the hallway. I pushed open the bathroom door, looked out and saw it. It's face was pure white and it's hair was all dark with the dim lights barely allowing me to see it's face. It was my mom with a face mask on and scared the living soul out of me. :sweating_profusely:
 
Nneeil

Nneeil

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AMissingLinguist

AMissingLinguist

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Ouch, my heart hurts to see how empty this thread is. Alexa, play Despacito.


This is so sad. Alexa, play world's smallest violin.





Sad yet? Whether sad, or not, I will come to save the day! Have some memes!









(Cute anime girls because why not?)
(Disclaimer: Your mileage may vary. I hold myself not responsible for causing laughter, anger, sadness, etc. Have a nice day.)
 
OddJamm

OddJamm

~Sweet Preservatives~
Joined
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Messages
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What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
Yamahahahahahahahaha
Edit: BadPuns#2: A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized Toucan play at that game.
BadPuns#3: A atom loses an electron, it says "Man I really gotta keep an ion them."
BadPun#4: Having s#x in an elevator is wrong on so many levels
I'm so sorry.
 
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OddJamm

OddJamm

~Sweet Preservatives~
Joined
Mar 7, 2019
Messages
97
Points
73
Conversation I had with my mom
Mom: Look at you, so fat ah
Me:...
Mom: You eat so much, cut down on it la
Me:...k...
Not even 1 minute later
Mom: *holds up a mango and a peeler* You wanna eat a mango?
Me: :blob_hmm_two::blob_catflip: didn't you just say- nvm..
Edit: today
Mom: come down and eat ahh
Me: okay~ *looks on the table, sees fast food* ... mom really?
Mom: go eat la
Me: kay..
Mom: also I bought you a yoga ball for you to lose weight ah!
Me: *almost chokes on the burger because I'm laughing* mom? *points at the food*
Mom: *laughs as well*
Me: You tell me to lose weight then you keep on feeding me :blob_joy:
 
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lilyWhiteRose

lilyWhiteRose

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this is a long one, and the payoff isnt worth it. but i like telling this joke to people just to get the long, agonizing groan of pain from a really bad joke :ROFLMAO:

--
a boy in high school is nearing the end of his school year, which means it's prom season. already asked his date if she wants to go, and she said yes! all that's left is to prepare.

first, he heads downtown to rent a tux. when he gets there, he's a bit miffed to see that the rental place is busy, and he has to wait in a long line until any of the workers could help him. he waits and waits and waits, until it's finally his turn, and rents a tux.

second, he needs to buy prom tickets for himself and his date. so on the date when prom tickets finally go on sale, he comes to school with the right amount of money in his pocket. tickets go on sale during lunch at the box office near the auditorium. the bell rings, and he heads down there as fast as he can. he's annoyed to see that there's already long line that's already formed, but he gets in line. he waits and waits and waits, until it's finally his turn, and buys the tickets.

thirdly, he needs to get a fancy boutonniere for his date. unfortunately, he completely forgot it until the day of prom, so he rushes to the closest nearby flower shop. it seems that many other boys forgot boutonnieres for their dates, because there's a long line. resigned, he gets into place, and waits and waits and waits, nervously, until he's finally able to get a lovely boutonniere for his date.

finally! it's prom night! everyone seems to be having a great time. the boy and his date are killing it on the dance floor with all their friends. after busting a lot of moves, the group moves to the tables to enjoy some light refreshments. the boy's date seems especially exhausted. she asks him if he could bring her something to drink and she plops herself down at one of the chairs.

the boy acquiesces, and makes his way toward the refreshments table. he looks over the platters, and is happy to see that there's a good diversity in the types of drinks. he picks up a cup, and immediately pours himself a cup of punch, because there's no punchline.
 
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