I just read the prologue and skimmed the first chapter a bit. The story idea was quite interesting.
Now the big bad but.
I’m on phone and it’s a long intimidating text wall. I sometimes lost the line. Please make the paragraphs shorter or alternate between short and long paragraphs. Personally, I quite like it, when important sentences stand alone to highlight them.
Your sentences are very elaborate (don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad thing). If I read one at a time it’s okay. However, there are passages with complex sentence after another. It was a bit hard on me (don’t know if it’s because I’m not a native english speaker). As a result, I forgot some information that might be important and lost interest.
The first chapter is better in that aspect. But there is on thing, I seriously missed: conjunctions. It will make the flow much better and makes following the plot easier.
Well, that are my opinions. Hope it helped.