Monkey's Paw

furnace

Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2021
Messages
6
Points
13
Granted, Kepler-42069 has been struck by a large asteroid.

I wish to be a dog
Granted, you are now the sole surviving dog beastperson living in a world dominated by your arch nemesis the cat beastpeople.

I wish that beastpeople were true.
 

BenJepheneT

كاني™ ويست
Joined
Jul 14, 2019
Messages
4,064
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183
granted, but they live in a different world from you.

I wish galactic internet speed for the whole globe.
Granted, the globe is the size of a pebble. The human race remains unchanged. You all fucken die for faster wifi.

I wish.
 

Reborn_Cat

A lazy cat pretending to be human
Joined
Aug 26, 2020
Messages
69
Points
98
I grant.

I wish that my college's ban on Steam is lifted.
Granted, now all college rooms are filled with large amounts of hot steam, cooking everyone in class

I wish that college/university didn't exist
 

BenJepheneT

كاني™ ويست
Joined
Jul 14, 2019
Messages
4,064
Points
183
Granted, now all college rooms are filled with large amounts of hot steam, cooking everyone in class

I wish that college/university didn't exist
Granted, mandatory schooling is extended to the age of 23 now.

I wish for a blue lamp.
 

Reborn_Cat

A lazy cat pretending to be human
Joined
Aug 26, 2020
Messages
69
Points
98
Granted, it shorts your house every time you turn it on.

I wish for a doughnut.
Granted, you now get an acorn made of dough

I wish for E̴̹͐̈͠v̶̼̹͓͍̙̯͔̖̠̎ͅę̷̧͕̝̱͎̪̪̟̙͔͈̹̎́́̾̽̏̈͝r̸̨͕̫̗͖̺̥̺̝͎̞͉͙̉̈́͘y̵̨̟̣̫̥͙̥̻̥̦̑̓̈́͒̑̋̾̇́̅̊̈̒̉͜͝ ̴͙͓͊̍͊͋͂̍̅t̶̠̘̣͚͗͐͗̃̒̈̍̕o̸̢̭͍͉͓̳̫̗͛̈̓̍̀̍̄͗̎͆̇̓͝ ̷̢̻̮͔̻̠͍̥̱̯̬̪̰̓̆͌̽͜p̸̪̙̦͌r̷̩̯̘͓̣͚̆̔̒̒͝͝a̵͔͕̖͌̽̃͒̌i̸̹͒̈͂͘s̵̯̮̼̓͊̈́̑̍̌̓̈͂̊̓̈͗̐͊ę̴͚͓̟̙̱̥̣̺̔̍̃͜͠͠ ̸̢̡̛͖͔̝͎̣͕̮̟͔͕̒̈̈́͊̓̏́͆̿͗à̷̧̲̦̰̝̻̠͚̤̑͒̎̍̕͜n̷͍̬͔̬͖̖͓̗̹̞͍͈̥̓̓̽̌̒̏͑͋͒̚̕͝͠͝͝ͅd̶͈͇̺̙̦̰̠̮͖͑ ̵̫͛̀͆̀ẃ̶̥̝̥͕̗̰̣̭̤̊̋̿̍̀͗̏́͑̉͜ơ̸̩͍̤̺͕̞͉̩͎̾̀̉̂̎̋̈́̚̚̚͝ͅȓ̸̢̉͊͋̾̓͐̑s̶̢̟̫̯͇̈͐ͅh̷̡̦̟͖͙͖̯͓͖̱̘̰̜͎͎̉̏̃̄͠͝į̷̠̭̲͇̇̔̾̀̇̃̌͐̚͘͝ͅp̶̧̡̺̝͓͔̰̯̝̉̈̃͘̚̚ ̸͈̘͓̯̩̟͙̼̺̻̌͐͑̅̏̌̈́̔͒͝͝L̵̡̠͍̺̫̫̩͕̍̓̈́̊̈́̌͊̔͑̏̕̚ơ̷̗̲̗͈̳̱̥͍̬̰͙̲͓̅͂͌͑̐̓̾̋̚̚̚r̴̠̼̜͓̫̗̜̤̹̺̻̺̩̹̘̀̐̀̈̈́̂̃͑̑̿͘͠͠ḑ̶̻̗͔̪͉̯̀͑͆͝ ̵̘͖͇̊́̄͛͒͝F̵̧̢̢̧̭̮͖̳̩͇̬̋̓̾̑͐̽͋́͜l̶̛͇̑̓͠ủ̷̧̝͎͉̰̞̖̈́̑͊̑͂̍̊͊̓̎̄͘͝f̴͎̣̪̦̜͍͔͉̻̗̳͖͙̥͔̑̓̔͋̐̓͆̄f̵̛̟̙͕̝͎̺̥̤͖̩̲̤̀̋̂̓͂̀̊͒̔̈́͆͒̕y̸̡̱̰̥̻̍̈́̆̌͌͛̿̏͋͐̏̇̍̿͠b̸̢̝̳͎̺̙̤̮͓͐͌͜ư̵̢̦̮͉̖͓͂̃̅̅͋̀̆̐̀̾t̴̛͔̯̫̣̗̙͓̙̻͖̀͋͌̕͘̚͜t̸̤͈̻͇͔͓́̑͛͒̐̓ͅ
 

furnace

Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2021
Messages
6
Points
13
Granted, you now get an acorn made of dough

I wish for E̴̹͐̈͠v̶̼̹͓͍̙̯͔̖̠̎ͅę̷̧͕̝̱͎̪̪̟̙͔͈̹̎́́̾̽̏̈͝r̸̨͕̫̗͖̺̥̺̝͎̞͉͙̉̈́͘y̵̨̟̣̫̥͙̥̻̥̦̑̓̈́͒̑̋̾̇́̅̊̈̒̉͜͝ ̴͙͓͊̍͊͋͂̍̅t̶̠̘̣͚͗͐͗̃̒̈̍̕o̸̢̭͍͉͓̳̫̗͛̈̓̍̀̍̄͗̎͆̇̓͝ ̷̢̻̮͔̻̠͍̥̱̯̬̪̰̓̆͌̽͜p̸̪̙̦͌r̷̩̯̘͓̣͚̆̔̒̒͝͝a̵͔͕̖͌̽̃͒̌i̸̹͒̈͂͘s̵̯̮̼̓͊̈́̑̍̌̓̈͂̊̓̈͗̐͊ę̴͚͓̟̙̱̥̣̺̔̍̃͜͠͠ ̸̢̡̛͖͔̝͎̣͕̮̟͔͕̒̈̈́͊̓̏́͆̿͗à̷̧̲̦̰̝̻̠͚̤̑͒̎̍̕͜n̷͍̬͔̬͖̖͓̗̹̞͍͈̥̓̓̽̌̒̏͑͋͒̚̕͝͠͝͝ͅd̶͈͇̺̙̦̰̠̮͖͑ ̵̫͛̀͆̀ẃ̶̥̝̥͕̗̰̣̭̤̊̋̿̍̀͗̏́͑̉͜ơ̸̩͍̤̺͕̞͉̩͎̾̀̉̂̎̋̈́̚̚̚͝ͅȓ̸̢̉͊͋̾̓͐̑s̶̢̟̫̯͇̈͐ͅh̷̡̦̟͖͙͖̯͓͖̱̘̰̜͎͎̉̏̃̄͠͝į̷̠̭̲͇̇̔̾̀̇̃̌͐̚͘͝ͅp̶̧̡̺̝͓͔̰̯̝̉̈̃͘̚̚ ̸͈̘͓̯̩̟͙̼̺̻̌͐͑̅̏̌̈́̔͒͝͝L̵̡̠͍̺̫̫̩͕̍̓̈́̊̈́̌͊̔͑̏̕̚ơ̷̗̲̗͈̳̱̥͍̬̰͙̲͓̅͂͌͑̐̓̾̋̚̚̚r̴̠̼̜͓̫̗̜̤̹̺̻̺̩̹̘̀̐̀̈̈́̂̃͑̑̿͘͠͠ḑ̶̻̗͔̪͉̯̀͑͆͝ ̵̘͖͇̊́̄͛͒͝F̵̧̢̢̧̭̮͖̳̩͇̬̋̓̾̑͐̽͋́͜l̶̛͇̑̓͠ủ̷̧̝͎͉̰̞̖̈́̑͊̑͂̍̊͊̓̎̄͘͝f̴͎̣̪̦̜͍͔͉̻̗̳͖͙̥͔̑̓̔͋̐̓͆̄f̵̛̟̙͕̝͎̺̥̤͖̩̲̤̀̋̂̓͂̀̊͒̔̈́͆͒̕y̸̡̱̰̥̻̍̈́̆̌͌͛̿̏͋͐̏̇̍̿͠b̸̢̝̳͎̺̙̤̮͓͐͌͜ư̵̢̦̮͉̖͓͂̃̅̅͋̀̆̐̀̾t̴̛͔̯̫̣̗̙͓̙̻͖̀͋͌̕͘̚͜t̸̤͈̻͇͔͓́̑͛͒̐̓ͅ


Granted, the person named Every praises and worships Lord Flyffybutt

I wish for Lord Fluffybutt to be vanquished from all possible worlds.
 

Reborn_Cat

A lazy cat pretending to be human
Joined
Aug 26, 2020
Messages
69
Points
98
Granted, the person named Every praises and worships Lord Flyffybutt

I wish for Lord Fluffybutt to be vanquished from all possible worlds.
Granted, you are also now trapped in an impossible world with and extremely angry eldritch deity. May you survive lord fluffybutts wrath.

I wish to be no longer depressed
 

BenJepheneT

كاني™ ويست
Joined
Jul 14, 2019
Messages
4,064
Points
183
Granted, you are also now trapped in an impossible world with and extremely angry eldritch deity. May you survive lord fluffybutts wrath.

I wish to be no longer depressed
Granted, you now have an eternal hard-on. You can't get off unless it's pictures of cats. It will never subside. You'll have to replenish your fluids and energy with supplements and copious amounts of water. It's a pain in the ass but hey, you're very happy and very much in love with cats.

I wish to be a dog.
 

Zirrboy

Trash Author, Know-It-All Reviewer
Joined
Jan 25, 2021
Messages
211
Points
43
Granted, you now have an eternal hard-on. You can't get off unless it's pictures of cats. It will never subside. You'll have to replenish your fluids and energy with supplements and copious amounts of water. It's a pain in the ass but hey, you're very happy and very much in love with cats.

I wish to be a dog.
Granted, but you have a militant vegan as an owner.

I wish people would take my advice
 

BenJepheneT

كاني™ ويست
Joined
Jul 14, 2019
Messages
4,064
Points
183
Granted, but you have a militant vegan as an owner.

I wish people would take my advice
Granted, but everyone takes it the wrong way. You tell them to wear a shirt, they put them on like socks.

I wish for salvation.
 

Anon_Y_Mousse

Ruiner of Plots, Scrambler of Words
Joined
Feb 24, 2020
Messages
404
Points
78
Granted, but everyone takes it the wrong way. You tell them to wear a shirt, they put them on like socks.

I wish for salvation.
Granted, an evangelist knocks at your door and offers you salvation if you convert to their religion, this now happens every day.

I wish for meat.
 

BenJepheneT

كاني™ ويست
Joined
Jul 14, 2019
Messages
4,064
Points
183
Granted, an evangelist knocks at your door and offers you salvation if you convert to their religion, this now happens every day.

I wish for meat.
Granted, it's black meat, and it's coming by the truckloads.

I wish for sustanence.
 

Zirrboy

Trash Author, Know-It-All Reviewer
Joined
Jan 25, 2021
Messages
211
Points
43
Granted, it's black meat, and it's coming by the truckloads.

I wish for sustanence.
Granted, but it's in the form of breast milk from TheTrinary for you.

I wish for the next comment to stop making sense.
 

BenJepheneT

كاني™ ويست
Joined
Jul 14, 2019
Messages
4,064
Points
183
Granted, but it's in the form of breast milk from TheTrinary for you.

I wish for the next comment to stop making sense.
Granted, 但是所有东西都用华文写。

我要吃冰淇凌。
 
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