Monkey's Paw

[tiaf]

Granted, you are now an apple in Walmart doomed to be thrown away by a child who doesn't want to eat fruit.

I wish I was Apple.

Granted, but you are a faulty product and you will not even last 2 years.

I wish it wasn’t so cold outside.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, but you are a faulty product and you will not even last 2 years.

I wish it wasn’t so cold outside.

Granted, now it's cold inside.

I wish for a Ducati motorcycle.

 

[HURGMCGURG]

Granted, now it's cold inside.

I wish for a Ducati motorcycle.

Granted, but's it's ten years old and hasn't gone through any repairs. You try to drive it and it breaks down.

I wish I was better at chemistry.

 

[tiaf]

Granted, but's it's ten years old and hasn't gone through any repairs. You try to drive it and it breaks down.

I wish I was better at chemistry.

Granted, but you fail at life.

I wish my relatives weren’t bugging me.

 

[Zoey]

Granted, but you fail at life.

I wish my relatives weren’t bugging me.

Granted, they're dead now.

I wish to reach nirvana soon.

 

[HURGMCGURG]

Granted, they're dead now.

I wish to reach nirvana soon.

Granted, but soon is subjective in eternity. Who is to say that soon isn't ten thousand years?

I wish my work didn't require me to do anything.

 

[binarysoap]

Granted, but soon is subjective in eternity. Who is to say that soon isn't ten thousand years?

I wish my work didn't require me to do anything.

Granted, but you don't get paid anything either. (Oh wait, that's just being a NEET)

I wish I was great at everything

 

[tiaf]

Granted, but you don't get paid anything either. (Oh wait, that's just being a NEET)

I wish I was great at everything

Granted, but everybody is shoving their work to you.

I wish I had a tasty pizza to eat.

 

[BlueDream]

Granted, but everybody is shoving their work to you.

I wish I had a tasty pizza to eat.

Granted, the slice is so small that you feel disappointed after eating it.

I wish I was great at something.

 

[Yorda]

Granted, the slice is so small that you feel disappointed after eating it.

I wish I was great at something.

Granted. You are now great at licking my toes.

I wish my power level was over 9000.

 

[BlueDream]

Granted. You are now great at licking my toes.

I wish my power level was over 9000.

It is for one second, but once I licked your toes, your power level goes back to normal.

I wish I can change anyone’s profile picture at will.

 

[Yorda]

It is for one second, but once I licked your toes, your power level goes back to normal.

I wish I can change anyone’s profile picture at will.

Granted. But it's only for a single day, you can only change my profile picture, and it is done so by your 'subconscious will'.

I wish someone would recommend a profile picture to me based on their candid impression of me.

 

[BlueDream]

Granted. But it's only for a single day, you can only change my profile picture, and it is done so by your 'subconscious will'.

I wish someone would recommend a profile picture to me based on their candid impression of me.

Granted, the person recommending is me. My impression:

Here it is

I wish people will not question my gender because I switched my profile pic to a guy's for the lulz.

 

[Yorda]

Granted, the person recommending is me. My impression:

Spoiler

View attachment 1344

Here it is

Spoiler

View attachment 1346

I wish people will not question my gender because I switched my profile pic to a guy's for the lulz.

Ouch I'm an elephant, when I meant to imply Jerry Jenkins sounded like he wanted to eat an elephant.
I'll just assume you meant this,

Spoiler: THIS

Granted. None shall question your gender, they instead will remain in a status quo state of simply not knowing.

I wish to unsee and forget your granting of my wish. The candid impression feels like a red hot roasting.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Ouch I'm an elephant, when I meant to imply Jerry Jenkins sounded like he wanted to eat an elephant.

Granted. None shall question your gender, they instead will remain in a status quo state of simply not knowing.

I wish to unsee and forget your granting of my wish. The candid impression feels like a red hot roasting.

Granted, now you have no prior memory of turning into an elephant and you're under the impression you've been one ever since.

I wish.

 

[Yorda]

Granted, now you have no prior memory of turning into an elephant and you're under the impression you've been one ever since.

I wish.

OMG it just keeps getting worse.

Granted. But a noun randomizer was used to interpret your wish since you gave no specifics.
"I wish [shopping skill mixture country world]."
You now have a shopping skill to purchase mixtures unparalleled by people in your country and the world.

I wish I no longer an elephant and instead was a ... vampire.

 

[BlueDream]

OMG it just keeps getting worse.

Granted. But a noun randomizer was used to interpret your wish since you gave no specifics.
"I wish [shopping skill mixture country world]."
You now have a shopping skill to purchase mixtures unparalleled by people in your country and the world.

I wish I no longer an elephant and instead was a ... vampire.

Granted, you're no longer an elephant, but a blood sucking vampire who transforms into an elephant when you drink blood. Still, the transformation stays for 4 hours after each drink, so you spend most of your life as an elephant anyway.

I wish vampires do not exist right after this post.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, you're no longer an elephant, but a blood sucking vampire who transforms into an elephant when you drink blood. Still, the transformation stays for 4 hours after each drink, so you spend most of your life as an elephant anyway.

I wish vampires do not exist right after this post.

Granted, now they suck dick.

I wish I got my dick sucked.

 

[HURGMCGURG]

Granted, now they suck dick.

I wish I got my dick sucked.

Granted, but...

Vacuum.

I wish my room was clean.

 

[tiaf]

Granted, but...
View attachment 1350
Vacuum.

I wish my room was clean.

Granted, for 2sec.

I wish I had a flying bubble like a balloon to store heavy stuff in there, so that they are easy to transport. (Just like in One Piece.)