Monkey's Paw

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, it’s a super expensive Oldtimer without a functioning motor.

I wish I could sleep better than last night.

Granted, now you have worse days, prompting you to keep sleeping, making you miss deadlines, responsibilities and your general lifestyle. But that's what you're adept in, ain't ya?

I wish for more.

 

[tiaf]

Granted, now you have worse days, prompting you to keep sleeping, making you miss deadlines, responsibilities and your general lifestyle. But that's what you're adept in, ain't ya?

I wish for more.

Ai, so accurate.
Granted, you get so much spicy food that you get sick of it and have a date with the toilet for a whole day!

I wish I could tap faster.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Ai, so accurate.
Granted, you get so much spicy food that you get sick of it and have a date with the toilet for a whole day!

I wish I could tap faster.

Granted, now your click slower.

I wish.

 

[binarysoap]

Granted, now your click slower.

I wish.

Granted, but
I wish Ben could finish his goddam

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, but
I wish Ben could finish his goddam

granted，now he finishes it in

I wish for a

 

[BlueDream]

granted，now he finishes it in

I wish for a

Granted, you have a but you suffer from .
I wishes my wish will actually be a complete sentences.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, you have a but you suffer from .
I wish my wish will actually be a complete sentence.

Granted, now it's grammatically errored and can never be fixed.

I wish for the TF2 Heavy Update to be named Worth the Weight.

 

[tiaf]

Granted, now it's grammatically errored and can never be fixed.

I wish for the TF2 Heavy Update to be named Worth the Weight.

Granted, a bunch of people will ridicule that name.

I wish heated discussions wouldn’t always break out whenever I should sleep.

 

[Yorda]

Granted, a bunch of people will ridicule that name.

I wish heated discussions wouldn’t always break out whenever I should sleep.

Granted. Heated discussions will now always break out whenever you can sleep.

I wish my child would be summoned to another world as a demon lord to fight a hero who eventually falls in love with them. (That is how one makes a wish on SHF. I'm tired of all your weak-sauce wishes. Not enough tang.)

 

[binarysoap]

Granted. Heated discussions will now always break out whenever you can sleep.

I wish my child would be summoned to another world as a demon lord to fight a hero who eventually falls in love with them. (That is how one makes a wish on SHF. I'm tired of all your weak-sauce wishes. Not enough tang.)

Wait, you have a child?! (I thought you were in school, and presumably rather young)
Uhh, granted. However the child doesn't love you back.

I wish I could find someone to make a child.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Wait, you have a child?! (I thought you were in school, and presumably rather young)
Uhh, granted. However the child doesn't love you back.

I wish I could find someone to make a child.

Granted, it's me.

I wish Hong Kong will devolve into a giant PUBG 500 v 500 Death Battle Royale so there can finally be something worth watching on TV. (tad bit too edgy but aint that your wish, @Yorda ?)

 

[Yorda]

Granted, it's me.

I wish Hong Kong will devolve into a giant PUBG 500 v 500 Death Battle Royale so there can finally be something worth watching on TV. (tad bit too edgy but aint that your wish, @Yorda ?)

Granted, but the players are 500 of the richest communist party members versus 500 of the poorest pro-democracy protesters, the only weapons allowed are pool noodles, and people respawn after the match.

I wish a giant tower would rise out of the center of the North Pacific Ocean that people could enter and make wishes at by sacrificing their things of equal value to fulfill their wish.

Wait, you have a child?! (I thought you were in school, and presumably rather young)

The fact that I don't have a child and have some youth remaining should not impede your ability to fulfill my wish. How dare you bring sense to the monkey's paw.

 

[tiaf]

Granted, but the players are 500 of the richest communist party members versus 500 of the poorest pro-democracy protesters, the only weapons allowed are pool noodles, and people respawn after the match.

I wish a giant tower would rise out of the center of the North Pacific Ocean that people could enter and make wishes at by sacrificing their things of equal value to fulfill their wish.

The fact that I don't have a child and have some youth remaining should not impede your ability to fulfill my wish. How dare you bring sense to the monkey's paw.

Granted, FMA fans will start a sect to worship, yet at the same time fear this mysterious tower.

I wish for the consent of a certain someone to write a short slash story about them.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, FMA fans will start a sect to worship, yet at the same time fear this mysterious tower.

I wish for the consent of a certain someone to write a short slash story about them.

Granted, but he/she wants it in Hebrew or he/she will see you in court.

I wish PETA would extend their rules to child slavery so I can finally legally put down that Mongolian child in my basement.

 

[Yorda]

I wish PETA would extend their rules to child slavery so I can finally legally put down that Mongolian child in my basement.

This is another one of your cursed posts, but I am somehow going to get through this hurdle.


Granted, but PETA stopped functioning before you could act on the new rule. Afterwards authorities were informed of the Mongolian child in your basement and they have been taken into protective custody.

I wish my wish would not be granted.

 

[Yorda]

I wish my wish would not be granted.

Granted. It turns out that your wish attempted to violate causality since you have to first make the wish for its effects to be actualized. Due to this problem the world line branched into two. In one world your wish was made and in another world your wish simply never existed and thus was never granted. The result of it all is that you realize the many worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics is untestable and you will never know the truth.

I wish I was a new pokemon.

 

[binarysoap]

Granted. It turns out that your wish attempted to violate causality since you have to first make the wish for its effects to be actualized. Due to this problem the world line branched into two. In one world your wish was made and in another world your wish simply never existed and thus was never granted. The result of it all is that you realize the many worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics is untestable and you will never know the truth.

I wish I was a new pokemon.

Banned for granting your own wish.
Oh wait, wrong thread

uh, granted, but you're even worse than magikarp, with no hope of any evolution.

I wish that the pokemon sword/shield was better.

 

[Alverost]

Banned for granting your own wish.
Oh wait, wrong thread

uh, granted, but you're even worse than magikarp, with no hope of any evolution.

I wish that the pokemon sword/shield was better.

Granted, the national Pokedex is included but the Pokemon company declared bankrupt and the game series will end.

I wish for a new phone.

 

[GeriatricTools]

Granted, the national Pokedex is included but the Pokemon company declared bankrupt and the game series will end.

I wish for a new phone.

Granted, you’ll have a Dynatax 8000X phone.
I wish I can become invisible and visible at will.

 

[Alverost]

Granted, you’ll have a Dynatax 8000X phone.
I wish I can become invisible and visible at will.

Granted but you can never move again.

I wish I can regain my motivation for everything.